Secret Book of Fanfiction One Shots

[Hetalia] Spain x Romano - never enough

a/n: this one is a bit lengthy, and romano is a bit ooc

trigger warning
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its been many years yet Romano always believed that no matter how much time and effort be puts into something, his brother will always be better. So he gave up on trying because it wasnt worth all his hard work, time and effort only to recieve comments like, 'Feli can do better'
or
'be more like Feliciano!'
its kinda like telling a hard worker to 'work harder' when they have already given it their all, its simply telling you that no matter how hard you work, how much you study, or how many times you try, it'll never be enough.

it hurt Romano every goddamn time because he knows that its true, and about him, he's been constantly reminded of the fact that he is simply a leech feeding off of everyone, he's lazy, untalented and mean. He was a person everyone presumed unworthy of their time, just assuming that he is simply an unlovable person with no actual knowledge of him personally.

it didnt help the fact he wasnt talented or never out and about doing something

it never mattered what he did or who he was because in the end, nobody cares about him. he isnt great nor is he always cheery and kind like his brother, Romano is lazy and rude, always either cussing someone out or shutting everyone out because life became too much. Times like these he is always the one quickest to shut everything out.

but after doing this for so many years, he's grown empty, and his heart yearned for someone to love and understand him, or at least someone who tries to understand him. hell, Romano barely understands himself.

When somebody loves you, and you love them back, they say you're supposed to reciprocate those feelings by being nice and using genuine words.

Romano? he tells them to fuck off. more specifcally Spain, because he drives Romano absolutely bonkers.

Even now, as a broken hearted man, even now on the verge of death, and even now when he began to wonder if Spain would care if he died.

Then he remembers the girl Spain kissed while at the party several months ago, from what he saw, online currently, they are engaged.

Romano felt lost, and so fucking broken that nothing could ever fix him, not even Spain, or a Spain that reciprocated Romano's feelings could fix him.

What's done has been done, and there is no way for him to go back.

but he went back inside his mind, his closed eyes colored the blackness, replaying all of the memories he found significant or embarassing.

these visions felt so vivid, each feeling felt as if he were still there during that time.

like the one he silently enjoyed currently, he watched Spain and his friends smiling and having a good time. He was ok

currently he never sees this as he's just not nice enough or rather he's just not good enough to be liked.

then theres Feliciano

His brother is the definition of perfection, and despite how jealous Romano is of his brother, he loves him dearly.
And Feliciano loves him dearly too.

Everyone else, unfortunately, does not have the perfect genuine kindness that Romano's fratello always spread.

They loved Feliciano, but never Romano, instead they ignore him and acknowledge Feliciano as Italy in general, that doesnt hurt Romano as much as it used to. What truly hurts him is that everyone he ever cared about has moved on, and found people that are genuinely worth their time.

His fratello found love with the potato bastard, Ludwig, Germany.

He's always there now.

Then there's Antonio, he is the one person that he for once cared about other than his stupid brother. He loved him for so many reasons, but one that stands out the most was his smile, and kind and gentle nature, he loved the stupid idiot because he took the time to get to know and understand him, and understanding Romano takes a lot of commitment considering he's always snappy, mean and rude.