Twisted and Torn (afi/lrh)

Heartbreak Hotel

Luke's POV

"Hey, um, Luke, Brit's on the phone and she wants to talk to you," I heard Ashton call from backstage. I ran off and grabbed the phone, hoping nothing was wrong. I had forgotten to charge my phone so it was completely dead. I could hear crying before I even put the phone to my ear.

"Britain? Hey, baby, what's wrong?" I asked, actually being able to feel the worry in my chest as well as my voice.

"I-I did something. Something bad. Please don't hate me," Brit mumbled, her cries overpowering her small voice.

"I could never hate you, baby. I love you more than you know," I replied, laughing.

"I cheated on you. It wasn't on purpose, I promise. I just miss you so much. I got drunk and, and Jake was here, and we kissed. He kissed me first. I didn't mean to kiss him back. It was a mistake. I thought it was you the whole time. I just miss you so much," she rambled, stumbling over her words.

My world crashed down around me. There was no longer any oxygen around me or filling my lungs. All there seemed to be was a dryness surrounding me where I couldn't breath. It took me what seemed like ages for me to be able to use my vocal cords again.

"I don't know what to say," I finally choked out, my voice tight and constricted. My brain had lost all it's power to think, I couldn't function.

"I'm so sorry," she sniffled. I couldn't process what she was saying. All I knew was that the person I cared for the most betrayed me in the worst way possible. At that moment, I didn't process that she was drunk and probablly had no idea what she was doing. I only realized that she had kissed someone else in my absence.

"I can't believe this," was all my throat allowed me to say.

"I didn't-" she started, but I cut her off quickly.

"Mean to. I know. That's what they all say," I quipped, immediately scolding myself for implying past events she didn't know about.

She tried to defend herself, "I'm not like all those other girls, Luke. I love you."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have done it," I quietly growled, believing it, even though a voice in my mind told me she loved me more than anything else. All I could hear was a roaring silence that I never thought I would escape from. "We'll talk about this later, Brit. I have to go," I finished, wanting to get some time alone to think and comprehend and to try to get some air into my heaving lungs.

"Okay, okay. I'll be here. I'm so sorry, Luke. I love you," She replied, still bawling. If she thought saying "I love you" repeatedly would fix it, she was wrong. I hung up quickly, not having anything else to say to her.
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I gave Ash his phone back and caught a cab back to our hotel. I still couldn't fully process what was going on. All I could feel was the pain in my chest. I ran into our hotel room and went straight to the bathroom. I turned the shower to the hottest setting and to full blast. I stepped inside and finally let the sobs burst from my throat. I never thought a girl could make me cry this much. Hopefully the shower running so loudly would mask the cries coming from my mouth. I spent at least an hour crying, salty tears mingling with the fresh water. I stepped out and dried off, putting on a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt I grabbed from my suitcase on the way in.

I laid down on the cold tile floor, resting my cheek on a chipped one. Trying to get somewhat comfortable, the tile cut my cheek. The pain was in a totally different universe as the pain in my abdomen. My heart was glass and Britain and taken a hammer to it, shattering it into tiny shards that pierced my organs, and most importantly, my lungs. I felt as if I was bleeding out, my veins exploding due to my heart's sharp pieces. Nothing would ever come close to the pain I was feeling now. I felt like my body had been in battle, it being on the losing side. It was like my legs were covered in scrapes and my arms in cuts from Britain's sword. I was twisted, pain and humilitation all I was able to feel.