Twisted and Torn (afi/lrh)

Once in a Lifetime.

Ashton's POV

I'm sitting in Joey's waiting for Calum to come in. I found a little weird that he wanted to meet, but I didn't question it. Cal was my brother. I know he wouldn't pull any wool over my eyes.

While I'm sitting in the booth, I flip through my phone. I'm looking through my pictures. Recently, my camera roll is filled with pictures of Hannah. She had decided to 'borrow' my phone while we were hanging out the other day, and she proceeded to take a billion pictures. None of them were able to capture her beautiful smile.

I hear the bell ding above the door, and I look up to see Cal's face, but he wasn't alone. I could see the blonde hair whip behind him as if she were trying to hide. I could feel my face fall from happiness to disdain. I'm not even sure why. Brit was my best friend.

"Hey, mate! I decided to bring along a mutual friend to lunch," Calum joked.

"What does she want?" I spit out far more venomous that I meant.

"Mate, she loves you. You're her best friend, and she doesn't want to lose you over something she doesn't even fucking know about!" Calum exclaimed.

"You don't know anything either," I say with a broken voice.

"Why don't I get a say in any of this! Ashton Irwin, why are you so freaking pissed at me! I don't even know what I did, and all of a sudden, you cut me off! You act like I murdered someone, and all I did was get a boyfriend. A boyfriend that likes me and treats me well. You're my best freaking friend! You should be happy for me, not pushing me away. Just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!" she yells the last line, and I flinch from the anger.

"Brit, I can't tell you what's wrong. You know I care about you, and I really am happy for you and Luke. You did nothing wrong. It's all me," I say choking back tears.

"You know what? If you think I don't deserve to know why you won't return my calls or texts, I'm not going to even try anymore. Goodbye, Ashton," she says trying to slide past Calum, but he stops her.

"Britain, please. You have to believe me. It's me. I'm trying, but it's so hard. I want to tell you so badly, but neither of us are ready. You don't know how bad I miss you, and it's only been two days. You're my best friend. I don't want you to leave me," I admit close to breaking.

"Well, Ash, I have to know something. Is it Luke? Is it because I'm dating? Are you scared I'm not going to have time for you anymore?" she questions me.

"No, it's nothing like that. I'm so glad that you're happy. I wish I could tell you, but I just can't at the moment. I promise that I'll tell you at some point," I say with pleading eyes.

"Ash, you know I love you. But I can't keep this up. If you can't tell me, I don't know what to do," she whispers a tear sliding down her face.

"I know, Brit. I seriously would love you to know. But, at this time, I just can't. It won't do either of us any good," I return.

"Okay, then. When you're ready to tell me, I'll be ready to be your best friend again. But for now, I'm done. I can't do anything for you until you take down this wall you've built. Until you're ready to tear it down, I can't talk to you. I can feel that you're holding back, and frankly, I'm tired of your shit. So when you're over this, you can come talk to me," she says her voice cracking.

She finally slides past Cal and runs out of the restaurant. I cover my face with my hands. I've ruined this once again, but instead of the always occurring pain, I feel complete rage.

She is constantly choosing him over me. Every time, it's always been him. I bet she's running to tell him now, so he can quiet her down, and they can act like the love sick puppies they are.

"Where are they?" I ask with gritted teeth.

"Um, mate. I don't think finding them is the best idea right now. Maybe you should just go home and cool off," Cal reasons.

"Damn it, Cal. Just tell me where they are," I say forcefully.

Cal takes on the look of a hurt puppy. I feel bad, but I'm blinded by anger.

"They're at the Starbucks down the street," he whispers.

I climb out of the booth. I practically sprint to the Starbucks and burst through the door and search the coffee shop. My eyes fall on them curled together on a couch by the window. I walk over to them seething with anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Hemmings? Can you not let me be happy? You have always had to be better than me. Every time I seem to be happy, you have to come and ruin it all! I've spent years letting you do it, and today marks the end of that. You've taken the one thing I truly wanted, but it's obvious to me now that she always wanted you. She never wanted me. It's clear to me now. I hope you two are happy together," I finish.

I look at Luke, and his face is contorted with rage. While Brit has tears streaming down her face.

"Oh, really? I'm the better one? I've spent years trying to be better than you! I saw the way she looked at you! She always went to you. Every time she needed something she went to you, and it killed me to see her want you. This is the first time in a long time that I've actually been happy, and for you to not want me to be happy shows the kind of friend you are," he finished.

My anger finally took over, and I stormed out. I make my way back to my car, but I stop to take a breath.

"Ash!"

I turn around to see Britain's tear soaked face.

"Did you mean that? Have you really liked me after all these years?" she asked quietly.

I sigh. I guess it's time I told her.

"Yes, it's true," I say finally breaking.

We stand there in awkward silence for what feels like hours.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry for never seeing it. Now that I think about it, I can see it clearly. The way you always would smile at me for no reason, all the pet names, the way you always stuck by me. It makes so much sense, and I hate myself for putting you through that, and for me to pick Luke after it all... I can't imagine how you feel," she finishes the tears flowing freely.

"Brit, don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It's mine for never being honest with you. I never told you. I just hoped that those subtle hints could let you see how I felt. It's all my fault," I say my voice cracking.

"Oh, Ash," she breaths.

I meet her year filled eyes with my own. I open my arms inviting her in for a hug. She takes my invitation. She buries her face in my shirt. I can feel it begin to get wet with her tears. I hold into her for a long time. This is the last thing I wanted. I didn't want the truth to hurt her like this.

She pulls away just an inch and looks up at me with those clear blue eyes. I meet her gaze with mine.

I take the plunge and lean down to kiss her. The kiss makes my heart race. I pull away reluctantly. It was a small kiss, but it was enough for me.

"I had to do that. Just once," I whisper.

I get in my car and drive away. Tears are pouring down my face. I finally said goodbye to my dream girl. I've really lost her now, and that breaks my heart into a million pieces.

I doubt anyone can put them back into place.

Except one person.

Hannah.

**********

Hey! Thank you guys so much for a hundred reads last weekend. We're currently at 826 reads. Let's try to get to 950 by Monday morning our time?

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