Twisted and Torn (afi/lrh)

Abuse and Adoration

Ashton's POV

If memories were waves, then tonight I'd be drowning.

Every time I think I'm going to be okay, another ghost of a memory comes to haunt me.

First, all I see is Britain. Her dark golden blonde hair, he clear blue eyes, her adorable smile, the small smattering of freckles on the bridge of her nose. Every thing I see makes up the perfect girl. I had grown up with Brit, and I had seen every flaw, every insecurity. We fit together like the yin and yang symbol. She was the calm and collected side while I was the wild and spastic side. We just fit together, and I knew I loved her.

Then, I see Hannah. Her dark chocolate brown hair, her striking green eyes, her small dimples in her cheeks, her smudge of a birthmark under her eye. All of her features together are stunning. She's the epitome of beauty. I hadn't known her for long, but something felt right when I was with her. She made all my problems disappear. I could tell her anything, and she would listen without complaints. There was a certain connection with Hannah that I couldn't ignore. Maybe she's the answer to everything.

I wish that I could wake up and forget all the stupid little things I've done lately, with Britain and Hannah. I regret everything I've done to both girls. I pray that they can find it in their hearts to forgive. If they don't, I won't be fine at all.

**************

It was the day before the tour, and I had to make the most of it. I wouldn't be in my home for 2 weeks. I'd be in who knows what kind of hotel. Everything was about to change.

*************

I was just lounging around my house when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out to find a text from Britain.

From Britain Elizabeth

Hey, Ash. It's the day before the tour and I was thinking maybe you and the other guys might want to hang out, for old time's sake. I promise I'll tell Luke to keep the PDA to a minimum. I miss you.

Truth was, I missed her too. Terribly. I miss the laughs we had, the jokes we shared, the friendship we had.

To Britain Elizabeth

I miss you, too, Brit.

From Britain Elizabeth

So is that a yes? :)

To Britain Elizabeth

I guess so, but I'm not coming for the others. I just want my best friend back. The guys are just a bonus. ;)

From Britain Elizabeth

Haha okay. See you then. Bring Hannah if you want! I bet she'll be missing you too during the tour.

To Britain Elizabeth

Okay! See you soon!

I quickly pull up my messages from Hannah and type up a new one.

To Hannah Banana

Hey, I know we're not on the best terms right now. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. You mean so much to me. More than I can express. I guess what I'm trying to say is, can I make it up to you?

I quickly pressed send. I nervously awaited her answer. I really needed her to stay in my life. There was just something about her that I couldn't forget.

My phone buzzed once again. It was Hannah.

From Hannah Banana

Ashton, I don't know. You're a great guy, really, but I'm not sure if us being together is a good idea. It's obvious that when you call me baby or babe or any pet name, that I'm not the only one. I can see that you still love Britain. I understand that. You're afraid of change. I was there too, once, but you have to learn to move on. It's worth it. I promise.