Her || Bts 8th Member

Even the moon Cries

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!!TRIGGER WARNING!!
MENTIONED: MENTAL HEALTH, EATING DISORDER

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

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Have you ever feel so empty and numb as your tears can't even roll down from your eyes? The void inside your chest, wrenching while you look up to the night sky. You feel so alone even the stars and the moon watch over you. Even you want to cry no tears want to flow out from your eyes. And you can't do anything but just to feel your heart, who wants to scream all its emotions out. 

That's what Soomin feels, as she looks up to give the moon her tight forced smile. She wants to be happy even under what's she's feeling right now. But she can't help it, even she wanted to help herself to feel more than the void inside her. She can't just snap it out.

The boys are worried about the young lady, Soomin didn't eat anything that day. Although she ate last night, it's only a spoon of rice and sips from her stew then went back to her room.

Don't ask her why she feels like that because she doesn't know also why she's like this. All she knows is to stay by the moon until almost five in the morning. She doesn't get enough sleep, she can't even sleep, she can't eat at all, even smile for herself and the boys.

She grew thin and her eyes have dark circles, good thing that they just get for their months of break. The boys tried their best to at least have two or three behind the dorm if someone wants to go to their family. Soomin didn't want to spend her time with her brother, like she said she can't let Woojin see her like that.

Soomin didn't want Woojin to see his Noona like that and neither her manager nor the boys. She doesn't want them to see her in her vulnerable state.

Soomin just woke up one day feeling that way, she doesn't know where that comes from or maybe she knows but she can't remember. Then she cried for days, every day until her eyes got red and swollen. Or maybe she's tired, too tired that she can't function properly and it just been a week and a half and she already feels she's stopping the boys to spend their time with their true family.

She's a burden for them.

While Soomin sat on her room's balcony, the boys are downstairs letting the young lady have her alone time.

Soomin just stopped crying and watches the stars and moon shine her night. "You guys are too beautiful." She murmured to herself.

"Soomin? Are you going to sleep now? It's almost 2 am." She turned to her door to see Jimin closed it. He holds a wooden tray with a mug and favorite snacks and also almonds.

"Hey, why don't you sleep already? I'm fine here." With her words Jimin frown at the girl, his eyes make Soomin a bit nervous before she quickly wipes her dried tears.

" Are feeling fine now? Do you want to eat? Jin hyung isn't still asleep and prepare this for you. You need to eat." Soomin just nods and let Jimin sat by her side. He carefully settled the tray by his side and sat close to the girl.

"You know, I'm glad you're crying than you're bottling up your emotions. " He uttered as he reach to wiping her dried tears while Soomin nodded once again.

"Yeah, maybe I'm just feeling too much. Too much that I don't feel anything at all."

"Soomin-ah we both know it's fine to feel upset, where you're getting this all? " Jimin can't help but to feel angry by her words, he couldn't help but to grip on her wrist while Soomin tried so hard not to cry.

"I .. I don't know, why I do f-feel like this maybe I became too happy on the last days and that's w-way I feel like this. M-maybe I don't deserve to be happy at all this thing always happen, Everytime." That's when Soomin breaks again, her sobs can be heard downstairs and Seokjin and Yoongi a who's still awake are getting worried about that.

The moon watch them from afar, away from her moonlight. Jimin embrace the young lady in all his might, letting her sobs on his shoulder just like he always do like a situation like that. That is not the first time, it always happens to Soomin to be like that. And that situation reminds Jimin how much worst it was when Soomin took her break.

It's too much, her painful sobs echoes from her room, everyone can hear it even the trees, stars and the moon cry with her.

"Soomin please don't say that, Everyone deserves happiness so please don't be like that to yourself."

If only Soomin can truthfully say and explain everything she feels, she thinks she will break too hard her body won't take it.

When Jimin finally pulled away he look on her eyes just to see her pairs aren't shining like it supposed to be. It's dull, like how dark and deep is the ocean. And Jimin and the boys want to save her, they don't want her drowning and falling down from the dark bottom of it.

It even makes it hard for him when Soomin try to smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Don't worry, I have appointment tomorrow. I will be really fine by that. "

That's what Jimin holds on, even Soomin is hurting. They know she will not be defeat just by what's inside her, they know she want to fight and win it even it will take time.

"Just don't forget we'll be always with you." She hum by that, assuring Jimin with her soft hums.

Jimin stayed up until Soomin fell asleep, and he did as well.

I hope you're moving forward and not into the darkness, there's so much you deserve, so much it will take time for you to reach but it will be worth your fight.

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It is fine to be not fine at all, never say to yourself that you're just being too sensitive about things coz it hurts you. Never let those stupid people's words to get into your mind saying you're being too sensitive.. because you are not, you feel hurt, upset and sad coz your a human and it's fine to be like that sometimes. Take your time coz you can not just snap it out, but I know you will heal, I know you are fighting and it is a great way not to lose yourself. There's you be more infront of you so don't lose hope.

There will be more and it will be great and better for you. Thank you for fighting!

Alway remember that you're LOVED and APPRECIATED!

I LOVE YOU!
-pjbangtan