"- 𝐀 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐲."
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𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩 ❉᯽❉
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It's not catchy and on top of that it reveals the plot a lot which I feel like, is a cliché one. Instead of introducing the plot, give a conversation between the characters, a curious, attention-grabbing one and then at the end say 'Are you ready to feel the yoonmin rollercoaster ride? Then hop in, the ride has started.' Something along those lines.
Cover: 1/5
It is a bit attractive due to the contrasting blue and yellow colors but other than that it's not a good cover honestly. The font choice, both color and type, were not right. The writing was too thin and cannot be seen properly as well. The picture choice was wrong as well. If you look carefully, you used a normal Yoongi picture while Jimin's one is of him in one of his concerts, you can see his ear plug so no, the picture choice was wrong. The Balloon was a wrong choice too and the quote cannot be seen properly as well aka the resolution is bad.
Go for serif fonts if you want white color fonts, please remove the balloon idea, use pictures of both of them wearing the same colored clothes then it will go a bit with the title. The quotes, use a proper font like sans or of that sort and increase the size and please do look if the resolution is okay or not.
Title: 3/5
It literally screams cliché and I feel like it reveals the plot as well. Write yoonmin like this 'Yoonmin' as it's a noun. Other than that the title is eye-catching for people who are looking for Yoonmin romance.
First Impression: 3/5
I gave quite a lot of importance to the cover and this cover was not appealing in my eyes. Neither was the blurb, a bit less, but the title was satisfactory.
Reader's Interaction: 10/10
You have 124 comments in the first chapter and I see that all of them are positive, so, keep up the good work!
Story Plot: 5/10
It's common and boring, honestly. However, your writing style and characters makes it a bit nicer to read.
Plot Twist: 7/10
I did not actually expect Bang PD to tell them to make Yoonmin real, so, it caught me off guard. I hope you have other twists prepared as well.
Grammar: 6/10
In some places, you missed a few words and misplaced some but nothing, proof-reading can't find. Try to avoid using shortened words aka "don't", "It's", etc. in narration. It ruins the flow of reading. Your Punctuation is wrong in some places, so do see it. If you didn't know when to use period and when to use a comma, I'll give you an example below.
"I love Jin", She said.
"Whoever you are, I don't care." She turned around and left.
Like this is how you use a comma and period. Avoid using Korean words in English writing, it's improper and unacceptable in the English writing.
Emotions and Feels: 3.5/10
The story felt a bit rushed so I could not properly catch the emotions. Try to slow the pace and separate the characters' thoughts from the narration instead of keeping it in one paragraph.
Character Development: 6.5/10
The characters are a bit...unappealing? I did not like how Yoongi talked with the fans because we all know he wouldn't do that in real life but still...
After that talk with Bang PD, the characters' personas will have to change to accommodate the situation. Hope they will be able to do it.
Way Of Writing: 9/10
I like the way you write, it's nice and indulgent and the POV is continuous as well but I become a bit confused with the sentences in some places.
Overall: 6/10
I felt like I knew everything about the plot so I couldn't enjoy it much or maybe it's because I have read a lot of books, that's why I am able to tell most of the plot twists but to her it's a good book. Try to shorten your paragraphs a bit more and the rest tips I have provided above.
Total: 62/100
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