"- 𝐀 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐲."
WBW Community presents their project,
𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩 ❉᯽❉
‗ ❍ Honest reviews and constructive feedback with tips and tricks.
‗ ❍ All books and g...
Description: ⅗ This description, ignoring the minor mistake is a subtle but clear summary of the story. There are short dialogues of some of the scenes, and a clear summary in the end.
➷ ERROR #1 The description lacks an explanation of the Kingdom of Seven. Yes, maybe you didn't want to spoil it, but it's the main part of the story and can also be seen in the title. If you would just include a little bit of how she's trapped in another dimension, the description would be much clearer.
➷ SUGGESTION #1 Add just one short sentence at the end of the first paragraph. To furthermore emphasize the main point of the story and that is the main character being trapped inside the book, to another kingdom. Ex: Little did you know that you were indeed inside a book, in an unknown kingdom where secrets were about to unfold.
➷ ERROR #2 This mistake is one that occurs in almost every book that I've reviewed, and that is the wrong use of punctuation in dialogue.
➷ SUGGESTION #2 In the three short dialogues nearing the end, you missed the period that's supposed to be added before the speech mark.
Ex: " You are the one she chose "
Is supposed to be: " You are the one she chose. "
Cover: ⅖
➷ ERROR #1 The cover is rather confusing for me… lowering hobi's transparency behind a picture of an ancient Greece building just makes it harder for me to focus on the main idea of the cover.
➷ SUGGESTION #1 Since this story is heading in the Greek mythology direction, why not use a fanart of Hoseok as a god instead? You don't have to do a lot more (just make sure to add credit in your description) all you need to add is the title and your username in a suitable font!
➷ ERROR #2 I have trouble trying to make out the title on the cover, the size is way too small for my sight. The position of the text being too near to the left also makes it harder for me to read it.
➷ SUGGESTION #2 Fixing this is as simple as increasing the title's size and choosing a more suitable font. Make sure that the title can be viewed from far away!
Title: 4/5
The title describes the story perfectly, personally, I couldn't find a better title that would suit the story's idea. The only thing missing for me is the correlation between the title and the description. I only understood that the Kingdom of Seven is another realm where gods and goddesses of Greek mythology rule. Because of the lack of its presence in the description, I was unable to pinpoint what it meant and how it connected to the plot. There is another mistake that I noticed and that is how you capitalized “the” which you aren’t supposed to since it’s an article. Please, fix that.
