"- 𝐀 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐲."
WBW Community presents their project,
𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩 ❉᯽❉
‗ ❍ Honest reviews and constructive feedback with tips and tricks.
‗ ❍ All books and g...
Blurb: ⅘ It was really good and was capable of catching my attention. It clearly gave us a glimpse of what's happening and what the story is about. It was interesting and I wanted to jump in. However, you have a few grammatical errors in it which would be discussed below.
Cover: ⅖ It is just a simple picture with no creativity. As the text is simply put on the picture. The dark red Color is blinding the view and getting mingled with the background. The creativity level is zero. I would suggest you use a few more elements. Such as detective and suspense vibes, dark themes, weapons etc,. You can order a cover for your book from the graphic shop we have.
Title: ⅘ It was good indeed. You choose it perfectly. It not only caught my attention but matches the story line perfectly.
First impression: ⅘ When I saw the cover, I was not impressed at all. Though that it will be one more cliche story but as I read blurb I realized that it's an action genre. I opened the first chapter and truth to be said, it really left me speechless. The way you have described the scene, specially the details of murder and all, it left me amazed. And I continued to read.
Reader's interaction: 5/5 I believe that readers are forced to interact with the characters, story line and share their thoughts on the book is the way the writers have adopted to convey their words, describing scenes in an enchanting detail. Your readers are interacting well with the plot and storyline. Well done.
Plot: 13/15 It is such an amazing plot line. It not only kept me attached to the book, but gave me goosebumps as I read further. However, at some points, the details are missing and scenes felt like being cut short. The sentences are too short. Short sentences can be moulded into a one -not too- long sentence by using commas and hyphens. The pace and flow is perfect as I didn't find any imperfectly placed paragraph or a dialogue.
Twist: 8/10 The story is full of thrill and suspense. This book has some major twists in it which have been shown until now. I really enjoyed the story.
Grammar: 7/10 Your grammar is not bad, however, there are a few mistakes which I have found. First is the punctuation. You either misplaced the punctuation marks or didn't use them at all. Your sentences are too short which can be changed into a long one by using hyphens (-) and commas (,).
After this, comes the tenses part. Story telling must be only in one tense which should be the past. As the story itself means the depiction of the event which has occured in the past. Therefore, we shouldn't use any other sentence except the past tense. You have used present tense in many places. The abrupt change in the tenses damage the flow and affect the pace of the story as well.
After this, there is repetition seen at many points. Such as using the same word again and again.
Hope you can edit that.
Emotions: 4/10 I believe that the Emotions are one of those factors which gives life to the story. It also plays an important role in making the readers share their thoughts and interact with the characters. As far as I have read your story, I have found mysteries, thrill and suspense but the emotions regarding a character are not described much. I am still unknown to the feelings and inner conflicts of the characters.
The best way to depict the emotions of any character is monologue. Means talking to yourself. First become character A and say his dialogue and try to feel the misery by putting yourself in his shoes. Then change character B and think what would you have done if you were in that situation. It would help you a lot.
Character's development: 6/10 In my perspective, emotions are the mirror of someone's personality. In this book, the characters are not explained in detail. There is no brief description of any character which can tell us more about them. Therefore, the desired change in their behaviors and characters is not seen.
Writing style: 8/10 All the factors mentioned above affect the writing style and build it. Your writing style is good. You just need a bit of polish and all is well.
Overall: 8/10
Total: 72/100
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