°❈° 𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 doɥS ʍǝıʌǝᴚ (CLOSED)°❈°

- Dark Paradise ‗ ❍

Reviewer: May SeokJins_Yeonin_rh

Book: Dark Paradise

Author: idyllickook

Dᴇsᴄʀɪᴘᴛɪᴏɴ: 4.5/5

Its a bit long and there was some grammar mistakes but other than it was really enchanting. It made me wanna read the book a lot. Ill point out the grammar mistakes in the grammar criteria.

Cᴏᴠᴇʀ: 3/5

It does match the theme of the book but the I feel like you made the cover way too dark. Their faces are barely visible and also the font color choice for the author name and the genre subtitle, is a bit dark for the cover but you can still see it. It doesn't make the cover look appealing and the redness to it/red background gets hidden as well.

Honestly, you darkened it so much that except white color, no other color will look good so I'll suggest lessening the darkness on it and then you can use a bit more lighter color and also, it will look better if you wrote "By idlyllickook" and put it in the lower part, right in the middle.

Tɪᴛʟᴇ: 3.5/5

It does match the story but it's not unique. Reading your blurb, I felt like it deserves a way better aesthetic or fancy title, at least for the word Dark.

So I'll suggest finding some synonyms of "dark" that sound fancy and using them but don't go too fancy with your words. It also exposes the plot a bit so use a fancy word and write it like "The Stygian Paradise" or "The Dark Side Of Paradise". They are more eye-catching, in my opinion.

Fɪʀsᴛ Iᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ: 2/5

Nothing, except the blurb caught my eye. The cover was not pleasing to my eye and the title looked common so I didn't feel the urge to read it.

Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀs Iɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ: 9.5/10

I wouldn't say it has enough comments but most of them are positive and it looks like everyone is enjoying your book a lot but you have to try to interact more with them but now it's hard to interact with 50 commenters but you can still try.

Sᴛᴏʀʏ Pʟᴏᴛ: 9/10

Your writing style makes readers hooked to the plot and it's intriguing and something unique. I can't even think up what type of plot you are gonna provide, which is really rare for me because I have read many books and I always have an idea of the plot, its really rare for me to stay in the dark. You are doing a good job at it but try to slow down the pace a bit and describe the daily lives of the characters.

Pʟᴏᴛ Tᴡɪsᴛ: 8/10

I have a feeling that even if I dont read the whole book, it can still get a good amount of reads, votes and comments without twists because its that good but some good twists will still be appreciated.

Gʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ: 8/10

I have found some grammar mistakes in your blurb like in the first paragraph, you should write it like this "You tremble under their fiery and hawk like gazes, when in reality, you conceal the fire burning within you, prohibiting it from mingling with the twin set of flames."

Then the third paragraph should be written like this "When you find yourself being tossed into the so-called perfect world of Paradise with the "Chosen One" title as your crown, destiny starts sewing your fate with uncovering secrets that might leave you seeking death."

And in the fifth paragraph "You got spectacular veins of freedom in you, which makes the adventure of making you lose your independence more enthralling." [you can also use another proper synonym for adventure because I think it would be better if you don't use adventure here because the line itself is so fancy].

I did find some mistakes in structuring sentences like this one from the prologue, first paragraph, last line "But, one's waste is someone's prized possession", writing it "But, one's waste is another's prized possession" like this is better or you can use "someone else's" but it lowers essence of the feel so its better to write "another's".

Then again in chapter 1, first paragraph, first line, you should write it like this "By dawn, your adrenaline kicks in, in an instant. It constantly reminds you of how much of a perplexed life you are living. Sabotaging yourself, for this job of yours that pays well--and earns you glares of envy--but supports your living far better than any human being..."

There are just slight mistakes like these, scattered everywhere but let me tell you its okay to write this, I would call it improper grammar, not bad but improper grammar. What I wrote is proper grammar. Other than that, your grammar is really good but avoid as much as you can using shortened words/informal words like "don't",etc. in narration, you can use it in dialogues. Also you use comma when you write like this:

"I love you, Jin," She said.

And full stop when you write like this:

"I'm sorry but I love someone else." He turned around and walked away, his figure slowly becoming a distant memory in her mind.

Its because I saw you doing the complete opposite.

Eᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴs Aɴᴅ Fᴇᴇʟ: 9/10

Thats a perfect Y/N I actually relate to, I'm happy to be the lead of this awesome book, not gonna lie. She's mature and her thoughts and interactions are something I would do. Namjoon better not get angry-

Cʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ Dᴇᴠᴇʟᴏᴘᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ: 7.5/10

As its still an ongoing book, I dont have any comments on it since I dont see any yet but I have a feeling it will have a good development.

Wᴀʏ Oғ Wʀɪᴛɪɴɢ: 9/10

Your writing is really heavy, I must say and descriptive as well. But be careful as to not over describe things.

Oᴠᴇʀᴀʟʟ: 9.5/10

It sent chills down my spine when I read the prologue, the good ones of course. Those characters' introduction, just wow...I'm speechless, I feel them so much like the way you described this paradise place and them and everything, I'm sorry I'm at a loss of words. I'm fangirling, honestly and when I'm done reading the 5th chapter and when you finished it with saying Y/N was the Chosen One, I literally felt bad chills run down my spine, I was scared, okay? Okay-

𝐓𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥: 79/100

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