"- 𝐀 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐲."
WBW Community presents their project,
𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩 ❉᯽❉
‗ ❍ Honest reviews and constructive feedback with tips and tricks.
‗ ❍ All books and g...
Description: 4/5 I have to say, simple is always best. Your description summarizes the overall plot. However, I have to say that this type of description is quite familiar to me, in most fanfictions I have read, most authors use the format of illustrating the two main characters, their traits, etc.
Then it is followed by a series of questions with the purpose of getting the readers to click on the story. I have absolutely no problem with you choosing to follow this overused system, but it will be nice if for future projects you can come up with different, completely new ideas.
Cover: 3/5 Wow! I love how yellow is dominating the cover, it is a great choice of color since it is radiant, bright and therefore stands out to most of the readers. Again, I have seen this type of cover and for this specific genre I think it is a perfect fit.
Both of the characters are present, and although faceless it still adorns the plain canvas with simplicity. The only complaint I have about this cover is the size and the type of font used. Because of its massive size, it requires more space which is why you had to make it into two rows.
You also chose to capitalize every letter, probably so that it is clear and it is viewable from afar but it ruins the cover. My suggestion is to also change the text placement, make it in front of the two characters and decrease the size.
Title: 2/5 It is self explanatory that this title is overused and very common. Meaning-wise it does have a slight correlation with the plot and central idea of the story. Unfortunately I cannot add on much in this section, and as always it will be your choice as the author to make the final decision.
First impression: 4/5 Unexpected gave me a very strong first impression, the cover stood out to me more than anything else and combined with the clear yet short description. I am able to meet the two main characters before diving into the plot.
Readers Interaction: 9/10
There are more comments than what you would encounter in other books, but again I have to stress that the amount of readers does not matter. I advise you not to be discouraged, but use this as an opportunity to push you going forward.
Story plot: 5/10 The problem I encounter with this story plot is that it is a typical high school romance story. If you have not realized, this type of plot is a common sight for me and probably many other readers out there. A plot needs to be spectacular, it needs to be a breath of fresh air for the readers. However I have to admit that I am soft for enemies to lovers tropes, so that specific part of the plot caught my eye. Again, different people have different opinions, some people may like a cliche plot like this while others may not.
♡ SUGGESTION #1 For future projects, I suggest drawing inspirations from popular movies, books, or other stories that you have read. It is totally fine to be inspired by other authors as long as your story is not an exact duplicate of theirs. I have seen many writers pull a creative trick from these plots. Ex: A spin-off of the classic disney movie Tangled, focused and centered around Mother Gothel.
Grammar: 6/10 So far so good, your use of tenses have been smooth and consistent. Punctuations have also been placed in the right places. The only complaint I can give you about this part is the wrong use of prepositions and lack of commas in dialogues.
♡ SUGGESTION #1 The basic rule for every author after publishing a chapter, proofreading and revising it. Adding and deleting some parts which are not needed, and editing some typos and spelling mistakes. So, before finalizing your draft make sure to make some revisions.
♡ SUGGESTION #2 The 2nd mistake lies in the dialogue, and its formatting. Remember, if the dialogue is followed by an action tag ( meaning an action is done after ) always add a comma ( , )
Ex: "Just break it down, " Zac answered for me.
Emotions and feel: 7/10 There were some moments when I could truly sense the emotions, but in some other moments these emotions became vague. In chapter five when Hannah's dad scolded her, I became enraged and annoyed too. This means that you have the capability to deliver powerful dialogues/lines that can deeply impact the readers. Good job on that!
Character development: 8/10 Again, I cannot judge much of this section since your story has not come to an end. I would like to comment on their personalities though. Let's start with Hannah who I infer is a bubbly and energetic girl while her love interest in the book Zac, is a guy whose action speaks more than his words. These two characters contrast, but it is a good strategy to use their opposites as something that could benefit the story.
Way of writing: 9/10 Since you stuck to one pov throughout the story, the narrator and perspective of each chapter is very much self-explanatory and clear to me.
I loved how you paid attention to even the simplest details and succeeded in incorporating them into the story.
Your choice of vocabulary is also amazing, and with a little polish in the grammar section, you are all set to become a better author!
overall: 8/10
Total: 65/100
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
