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I think you have done a pretty good job in the description. The first line is almost a bit too common because of all the mafia, psycho fanfics in wattpad but it’s acceptable. It's a somewhat interesting description and it’s intriguing enough.
Cover: 2/5
Well the theme kind of matches the work but the picture of Jin you have used is too common. I can assure you that I have seen it way too many times and most importantly it will leave an impression on readers like the storyline would be the same cliche mafia psycho story. Even the description doesn’t give away the feeling that isn’t very unique. I would like to suggest using another picture of Jin for the cover and the subtitle is just a half of the full one in description so it kinda doesn’t give the idea properly. Maybe ‘Babyboy you are possession and only mine.’ Or ‘I possess you and you are my possession.’ Something like that? I am just trying to express my opinion so it’s better if you could give a thought about what I said and come up with a much better—suitable one.
Title :4/ 5
‘Possession’ is indeed a bit common, not going to lie. But it suits the storyline, description and all. So I’ll just state that the title is a bit too common which might be a disadvantage when browsing in wattpad and the rarer the better when attracting readers.
First impression: 3/ 5
I was intrigued to read the story by the description. So I’d say it was a bit of a strong first impression. As I said earlier when creating a good impression on readers the cover, title matters. Even though we always say to ‘not judge a book by its cover’ that’s what we all do every time. For example, if they think that a book has a pretty cover and title is somewhat interesting, the reader automatically gets intrigued to click on it and have a look that despises what that reader was actually searching to read before. I even saw a comment in a book saying ‘your cover just made me stare at it for minutes.’ See you get my point here.
Readers Interaction:09/10
I think there was a good interaction with readers. I saw plenty of comments saying their thoughts of the readers and it’s a good thing!
Story plot: 08/10
It’s uncommon despite the cover and title. Even I had this feeling Jin would be the hybrid cat first but making the female lead be the dominant one is awesome. It’s still on chapter seven so I can’t point out much but for now I can say it’s flowing at a good pace. But if the character meeting each other was delayed a one chapter I couldn’t help but to think it would be great too. I mean first giving out the feeling of them having a glance of each other and then meeting rather than happening it in a hurry. It’s not my position to know about the plot of the future so it might be that you have many more incidents planned with both of them together and it might be the reason that you made them meet right away. But in my opinion it would be awesome that way too and again you have written a few chapters already so just take this as a thought to think.
Plot twist: 07/10
As I said earlier it’s still on chapter seven and in the early age of the book so plot twists aren’t present just yet. I expect there to be exciting plot twists to be there in future. Twists are very important in a story so it’s really necessary. Even readers won’t have that exciting feeling and curiosity—eager to read the next chapter if there aren’t plot twists or cliffhangers. So yeah!
Grammar : 09/10
I think the grammar is very good and I didn’t find any mistakes. Tenses, words are in the right place so it’s all good. Oh the punctuals, they had few problems. I saw that you have used comas oftenly. Almost too oftenly. For example, ‘He was tired of everything around, from getting rejected to having his fridge completely empty , he hated it.’ Here you could stop the sentence from ‘around’ and start the next one as a new sentence. I saw another one or two places like this with unnecessary commas . I suggest you have a look at them.
Emotions and feel: 08/10
There weren’t many emotional incidents yet so I can’t say much. But the emotions of Jin were expressed properly so it’s good. Emotions are really important so express them properly for your readers to feel right into their heart!
character development: 09/10
You have done a pretty good job in character development. I especially like the female lead. Jin being a baby is cute so in my opinion I like them. Some Of his actions are hilarious, like he wants to jump from the window when there is a door. Other characters also have their own behaviour and it’s really good that way. Nothing else to say here. You’ve done a good job here.
Way of writing : 08/10
I liked the vocabulary. But sometimes the description went a bit unnecessary. It can be annoying at times but other than that I didn’t find any problems. About point of view, it gives the feeling of third person pov but at times thoughts of main characters were also present. It can be low-key confusing having them out of nowhere. It’s not that much of a problem overall but it can be sometimes.
Overall : 08/10
Overall nice, intriguing story. I enjoyed reading and reviewing. It already has a lot of readers and readers are there too so obviously there aren't many flaws. You nice keep going! And give a thought to what I said.
Total: 79/100
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