Anirudh- The Story Of A Misread Barrister

Chapter-4: Nuances Of Love

In the beginning when I associated with Manorama, I admit that I was a bit ambiguous about my feelings for her. I checked myself again and again to see if I was going on the wrong track or something. After much of inner turmoil and decoding of thoughts, I came to a conclusion that I don't love Manorama in the way the world thinks a man loves a woman. She was simply a good friend of mine. I just had pure feelings of respect and admiration towards her. Nonetheless, I used it to distance myself from Bondita. I deceived my mind into accepting that I love Manorama in order to protect my principles and shut the doors of my heart for Bondita. But till date, has anybody able to acquire control over one's heart?

Manorama came to our house as my kaka's friend's daughter. Until then, I didn't even know her name, though I knew her as a revolutionary, since the time me and Bondita left our bungalow to live independently.

After my family had planned for my first night and intoxicated me to consummate my marriage with Bondita, I felt so betrayed that I decided to leave the house with her. Already they had spoiled enough of her mind that she started demanding the wife's status from me. I was scared that if she stayed here anymore, she might lose her innocence completely. However, it was only later I came to know that the place where we were going to live proved more dangerous than our house.

I left the house along with Bondita and landed up in a small hut, as I neither had any money with me nor cases to work on. Apart from the household expenses, I had to pay Bondita's school fee on time. Now that I had fought with my family, I can't use their money or help at any cost. Also, being a responsible man, I wanted to stand on my own feet and take up the responsibility of my wife. That very thought gave me immense happiness. I thought I will fight cases and with the money earned, I will get my Bondita educated.

Things went well for a few days. I was successfully able to gather the amount needed for Bondita's school fee. However, my strength and confidence were shattered when a storm hit our place and the roof of our hut collapsed, thus collapsing my dreams as well, for, the money that I had saved, got drenched in rain water and became useless. Along with the money, my hard work too drained away. There were hardly two days left to pay the school fee. I felt so helpless and defeated for the first time in my life.

There cannot be a larger defeat for a man, than his inability to provide a good life to his wife, a life of her dreams. If I cannot give her gold and diamonds, at least I must be able to make her one. I really don't have to work much to make her one, as she is already a diamond, but the only thing needed is to make that diamond shinier. And that shine could be achieved only through education. In that moment of devastation, if I was able to regain my strength back, that was because of Bondita. She gave me the confidence to fight again.

"Pati babu, you will never lose, please don't give up. Since you are working hard honestly with a good intention, Durga ma will definitely help you. You have dreamt to make me a barrister not just for my sake, but for the sake of the bright future of the women of our country. So, our dream will definitely get fulfilled and the fee for my school will also be gathered again. You just don't lose your courage.", saying this she patted on my shoulder. The gentle touch of her tiny hands and golden words were enough to regain my confidence.

I went to court hoping to find a big case, when I received a message from a mysterious woman, who said that I will be given Bondita's school fee, if I help her in her mission. Without a second thought, I agreed mainly for two reasons. One was that I can easily pay Bondita's fee on time and the other being an opportunity to lend my help in the freedom struggle. That mysterious woman was none other than Manorama. It seems she came to know about me through the people at the court who were talking about my integrity, my dream of bringing changes in the society and my hard work to get my wife educated.