Anirudh- The Story Of A Misread Barrister

Chapter-36: Anirudh's Wounds And Bondita's Medicine

I started crying badly. I resisted Subbu from applying turmeric to my wounds. All that I could hear were the words, "She is my wife", that left my mouth a few minutes before. The thought that I said those words shook my heart. I was too scared of my own self, as I couldn't figure out if those words came out as a knight in shining armour to save Bondita from the situation or as a realistic fact that my mind had accepted long ago but buried in the subconscious shelf, owing to my ethics.

"No, the second option should not be true at any cost.", I convinced my mind, because what happened five years ago was not a marriage but a crime. It was a crime that I committed in full consciousness to save a child from another heinous crime. Although I cannot deny the impact and importance of Indian nuptial procedures, the act that happened on that dreadful night of our marriage has no validity in my mind. Otherwise, how can a child be called as someone's wife? Does that even make sense? How did society find sense in that?

Well, what happened has happened and I cannot change it. At least this time I should have been careful while choosing my words, shouldn't I? Once again in my full senses, I admitted that Bondita is my wife. For one more time I snatched her rights and imposed my decision on her. I committed the same sin all over again but verbally this time.

As the scene flashed in front of my eyes again, I hit the ground with my fists startling my friend. My knuckles pained terribly but I didn't care. Thankfully Bondita was unconscious; otherwise I would have ended up scaring her too. I looked at her serene face peacefully resting on my lap and reality struck me hard.

"She trusts me so much and even gave me the place of God, but what did I do? I broke her trust when she is unconscious and made use of her innocence. I don't deserve to be touched by her. She should not be this close to me, for, I can be dangerous to her.", I thought and immediately placed her head on the floor and stood up.

"I became Bondita's culprit again. I am at fault.", I cried. "I am very bad, Subbu, so very bad. I am binding Bondita in a forceful relationship which I never wished for her. Subbu, I hope you trust me if I say that I don't have any ill feelings for Bondita. My affection for her is as pure as a mother's love. I don't intend to desire Bondita or harm her bright life in anyway. Believe me, Subbu. God, please believe me. My intentions are pure, they are pure.....", I went on repeating the same words. It was more like convincing my own mind and giving justification to myself that I didn't have ill feelings towards Bondita.

"Anirudh, I believe you. I know your character very well. I have also witnessed your bond with Bondita since the last four years and I know how pure it is. Stop blaming yourself for a mistake that you did not even commit in the first place.", Subbu tried to console me.

"I did not make a mistake, my friend. In fact, I committed a crime. I am the person who advocates a woman's choice in marriage and today I falsified my own statements. Without Bondita's consent, I...", I gulped a lump formed in my throat and continued, "I declared her as my wife."

"You only uttered those words from your mouth but did not marry her. You used it as a means to save her from becoming a devdasi.", explained Subbu.

"Why is that marriage had to be the only solution to all the problems in the country? Why marriage has become the root cause of all the problems of women and also the only solution to save them from every trouble?", I screamed. I was already quite frustrated with my confession and this sad truth about the country added up to the heat. I started throwing all the things hither and thither that were arranged for making Bondita a devdasi in rage.

"I will kill everyone whoever tries to harm my Bondita, even if it is me.", I said, putting out the fire and dismantled the bricks that enclosed it. I was terribly shivering with anger and was in a seriously bad state. Subbu tried his best to control but his efforts did not work. I broke everything that I saw there, while hurting myself in the process. I took the God's statue and was about to break it, when Subbu emptied a pot of water on me. I jerked at the sudden shower but came back to my senses. I put the idol aside and dropped to the floor helplessly.