Bakugo x reader

Death doesnt scare me.

Sorry for long awaited chapter. I haven't been writing ahead and I've been really low recently and some things are triggering to write. But I think I've gotten better and I'm looking forward to giving u more content my babies :)
Tw:: pills, sh⚠️⚠️⚠️
Song of the chapter(kinda important to fit the vibe): advice by Alex G

The weekend finally came. Honestly the only exciting thing that's happened. I just get to sleep or lay in my bed for hours.

I cried every night this week when I got home from school and hid it from everyone.

I've cried so much I started laughing in the middle of it. It's started to become hilarious how sad I am. How much I want to be free of this feeling.

Every time I think it's getting better, I always end up right back where I was.

Depressed, lonely, numb and unmotivated.

Of course some people have noticed my eyes looking more tired than usual. I can barely smile throughout the day anymore it's becoming a chore to be happy.

But why am I not happy. I have amazing friends who obviously care about me. My amazing boyfriend who always looks after me. My teacher. My family.. his family.

So what is so wrong in my life that I'm back at this point.
I just can't endure the thoughts anymore of him. Touching me. Abusing me. Mentally and physically. Telling me I'm not good enough. I'm only good for one thing. That I would be better off not In this world. He's trying to get in my head. I cant. It's all too much to constantly think about everyday.

There are things he said to me that I always try to forget. But they always come back.

"Just do it, kill yourself. No one would miss you for long. I mean look at you. Sad little child."

"It's so easy to get in your head."

"Maybe if your mom was around you would be stronger. But no, you ended up getting kidnapped by me. Weak."

"Your so weak. Cant even stand anymore ,can you?"

I always try to shake these memories away. They haunt me.

Why did he bring up my mom so easily. Not like he knew her. He knew nothing about her. She didn't deserve what happened. I hate looking in the mirror knowing I resemble her face. Her face that I miss so much.

I walk slowly slouched over in the halls everyday just waiting for class to end so I can go back to sleep at the dorms. I've slept so much why am I still so tired.
I'm so tired.

But now, today. I sit in my room once again and cry. Cry cry cry, it's almost like that's all I know how to do. For fucks sake it's only 6pm. Why am I already trembling at 6pm.

I hear footsteps walking up the hall getting closer and closer to my door.

I wipe the tears off my face and clear my nose with a breathe.

*knock.. knock*

"Uhm come in." I say grabbing my phone to make it seem like I wasn't crying. My face was still puffy though.

"Hey so Aizawa put me on cook job for tonight so if you need me call me. I'll be downstairs and food will be ready later, ok?" Katsuki said peeking his head through my door.

"Oh okay, got ya. I'll probably take a nap. Just wake me up when It's done okay?" I nodded.

"Okay, bye see ya later." He closed my door and I heard his footsteps walking away.