Heaven Knows

Seven

I see the crowd go wild but I can't hear their cheers. The only thing I hear is his voice. No. I hear his heart. Just like all those times I would go to his concerts and listen to that silent gleam he would always carry.

My heart wants to break those walls but I don't let it be. My mind reminds me of all those silent nights in a beautiful house. Those nights when I heard my tears speak louder than his music on the radio.

I shiver and look away from his shining eyes. "I need a drink." I don't listen to Gail as I make my way towards the bar. My heart is still very confused as I ask for a nonalcoholic drink. I let the minty flavor of cucumber water freshen my burning ears.

But of course, it doesn't last long as I watch Tyler finally come out of his usual group of fans. Since there are more older people around here, they are easier to escape from.

I don't leave this time as I tell my heart to stay still. He sits on the stool next to mine with his warm smile. "Hey."

"Hey. You were great up there. As usual."

His eyes shine at my comment and a blush starts at his face. This actually makes me smile. He stays quiet and we let this silence ease some of the tension between us. And I let it be. I'm determined to listen this time just like Gail suggested...

"When I was up there, I remembered the first time I had a big show. Do you remember?"

I do a small smile and nod. "I do. You were always so natural up there. It was like you were born for the stage." He does a small chuckle that makes my heart melt.

And I let it be.

My eyes go to the beer he has pushed aside from a girl that bought it for him. She eyes him from afar but he ignores her. I stop myself from falling for this gesture.

"How's your career going?" I say now. "I haven't heard a lot of new songs on the radio."

He does a smirk that makes me laugh. "You still listen to my music?"

I roll my eyes at him and playfully say, "Don't get too excited, cowboy. I just happen to like the news on that station."

I suddenly realize that I just called him the nickname I loved calling him. I would always bother him about his country life. I was always a city girl. I discovered the countryside with him on our honeymoon. It was the best trip of my life.

Tyler does a knowing smile as he looks at the wooden counter. I study the way he has this weird...peace to his appearance. He was always so alive and wild in his quietness. But now he's just quiet and calm.

"Thank you," I say to him. He looks up from the counter and smiles. "For singing. I know that...that'll help with the fundraiser."

"My fame will help get money?"

"Well, people act when they like what they see."

"Do you like what you see?"

This throws me off guard and I'm left speechless. All I do is scoff and look away before I do something stupid. But I can't help but smile at the sound of his soft laugh.

"Don't worry, Tess. I understand. And I'm happy to help! Whenever you need a singer, you know where to find me."

He gives me a small wink and I playfully say, "At your farm?"

He does another small laugh that makes me join him and it's just like old times. Enjoying our moment of peace after every show. Smiling and celebrating his big achievement. His were once mine and now it's the other way around as Gail announces the amount of money we received at the end of the night.

People cheer and I give my friends a big hug for our hard work. I can already see all those parents receiving a hint of hope from all that suffering.

The moment he comes to give me a hug, warmth reminds me of the first time we held each other. The first time we gave each other a kiss. The first time I loved him.

My heart flutters with so many emotions as I step out after I finished cleaning up. Just like the first time, he waited 'til the end. As I stole glances at him, I couldn't help but smile.

No.

My mind starts to bring back dark memories of the man that calls out to me again. I stop this time and listen to the sound of his boots against the cement as he catches up with me.

"Tessa." I turn around and see that shining smile. He lets out a breath as his eyes study my quiet expression. I see his eyes fall in love with me all over again.

"Would you like that coffee?" he playfully says. "I know you're a big fan of coffee. An extra pump of vanilla with a swirl of cream and decaf. If you've woken up in a good mood of course."

I laugh at the way he remembers all of this and I click my tongue. My mind fights with me. It's always had with all the horrible decisions I've made. But maybe...I might make another mistake again.

Is it worth it?

We can just be friends, right? No need to immediately fall just like that night.

There's a begging look in his eyes that makes me nod at him and let my walls fall just this once. "Sounds good, cowboy."

"Wait. Really?" He lets out a small scoff and surprise goes through his expression.

"Don't make me regret it."

"No no! I promise." Joy overwhelms him and he fights the urge of giving me another hug. But he stays still as he says, "I'll see you this Friday. Afternoon or evening?"

"Afternoon. I sleep early."

"Oh," he says with a playful impression. "Why won't you look at you? Once the champion of all-nighters and now an early bird businesswoman."

"Careful there, cowboy," I say with a laugh. "Let's meet up during my lunch. I'll text you when I'm ready."

"Alright, Tess."

He starts walking backwards as happiness blinds him from the curb. Before I can warn him, he trips but catches his balance just in time. We share a laugh and my heart flutters all over again as he yells out, "You looked beautiful tonight, girl!"

This new feeling is more beautiful as hope slowly returns to me.

Maybe Gail is right.

We'll see where this mess goes...