Heaven Knows

Thirty Eight

I've finally felt so much better. I needed that pep talk with Tyler and that açaí bowl. I've been living off of that since it's the only thing that stays in my stomach.

I forgot Tyler was once a famous country singer that won thousands of dollars each concert. He told me that the reason why he hit rock bottom was because someone had hacked into his bank account and stolen all his money.

But he explained that he had a separate account. One we had saved when we just got married the first time. I honestly don't remember but now he understands why he didn't touch that account. He claims that God was saving that money for this moment. I just shrugged.

Luckily, Tyler had that whole week off from chemo to give his body a rest. So the hospital does not charge his rest weeks.

I also reconciled with Anna. She's been avoiding me this whole week and the only moment I could talk to her was when she brought in my açaí bowl. She quietly nodded at me and tried to leave.

"Oh wait! Anna!"

She stopped and shyly smiled. I cleared my throat and said, "I'm really sorry about last time. I didn't mean to...throw all that on you. It wasn't my best week."

"I get it," she quickly said. "We all go through those moments. Plus. You're pregnant."

I smiled at her and shook my head. "It's no excuse to be rude. Especially to a friend."

I then saw a sad shine in her eyes. I furrowed my brows at this but she quickly hid it with a smile. "Thank you, Tess. You're too kind."

She started out but I knew I couldn't let her go. There was something there and I had to fix it. "Anna? Is everything alright?"

"Mhm!" she lied. "I'm fine."

And I thought I was a bad liar. Her eyes held back tears and it was so clear. She wanted to run from me and I didn't understand why. So I went to close the door behind her and gestured for her to sit.

She rejected. "I'm sorry, Tess. I have to go. I left a call on hold."

"No, you didn't. I don't think you'd be that stupid to leave a call on hold for thirty minutes. Only insurance and credit card companies do that."

Anna did a small smile at my joke and her eyes had guilt. I started to get worried. I'm scared she did do something stupid here.

But she then whispered, "I'm sterile."

I was left in shock. I mean what can I say? I understood why she was avoiding me. I tried saying something to her, but she quickly waved her words away and walked out.

It's been pretty awkward ever since.

I tried telling Tyler that story but I've been knocking out the moment my head hits the pillow. Making a child takes all the leftover energy I have.

Yet, I was able to tell him one evening that I took a quick nap. A certain smell coming from the kitchen awakened me. My stomach growled furiously and I quickly went into the kitchen.

"What is that delicious smell?" I abruptly said and Tyler jumped from the stovetop.

"Oh my god! You scared me. I thought you were—"

I didn't listen as I took a fork and quickly bit into the piece of chicken he was frying. I let my eyes close from such satisfaction.

Tyler's eyes grew wide and said, "You're eating chicken! I gotta take a picture of this!"

"No!" I said with a smile. I took another bite and said, "I need to keep my reputation."

Tyler shrugged and took me by the waist, but I quickly stopped him from giving me a kiss. "Wait. I'm starving. I want this chicken and scrambled eggs and ketchup."