𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 l ♡ mark lee

38.

♡
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"i'll pass on that offer. i can't kiss you if we become friends again. friends don't kiss. but i guess ex-best friends do."

"what?" i furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "mark i'm serious. can we makeup?" he seemed like he was joking around and i didn't know how to read him.

his humorous facade melted off his face and a torn expression enveloped him. it looked like he was fighting something in his head. he swallowed thickly before continuing.

"it's kinda funny" he chuckled but there was no humor in his words. "every night i would stay up all night thinking about when you would eventually come back to me. i've been waiting for this since the moment you turned your back on me and walked into jisung's car."

my heart started to race. this felt like more than a love confession. he was letting out all that he's been keeping in. all the unspoken words from the 7 years we knew each other. from brewing at the top for too long, it was finally erupting.

he paused to exhale deeply. it seemed like he was trying his hardest to get the words out. he clenched his jaw.

"now you're in front of me, asking me to come back to you. this is exactly what i've been waiting for. but now that i've gotten a taste of what we could have." his eyes flickered up to my lips for a moment then back down to the floor. i tensed over the fact that he couldn't look me in the eyes to talk to me.

"i won't settle for less" he finally met my eyes and spoke with an edge to his voice. like he finally got what he wanted to say out. there was firmness in his voice, a sense of determination.

"what do you mean?" i spoke lowly while looking intently into his eyes. the truth is i was afraid of what he would say next.

"we can makeup but i won't hold your hand as a friend. i won't kiss you as a friend either. i spent 7 years with you, pretending all the feelings i had for you were platonic. i won't walk by your side just for you to call me your friend. i don't want to just be your friend anymore." he said it with will power but somehow there was weakness in his voice.

he was speaking from the heart. i tried to conceal my emotions as much as possible, the emotions i didn't even know i was feeling. i gulped and was about to say something but he beat me to it.

"i never really wanted to be just your friend" his hoarse voice cut through the silence. my heart was clenching at all the unsaid words that were being revealed.

"you're the closest person to me, but there's still such a distance between us. no matter how close we got there's always a space between us. that space is the feelings we tried so hard to avoid." he added.

"let's close that gap. i know what i want, i've always known but i waited for you to know what you want too. and now it seems like you do." he exhaled deeply with those vulnerable eyes that drilled into mine.

my throat dried up and i couldn't get any words out.

"maybe my silent confessions to you were too silent. i could never tell you to your face but i always thought my actions were enough to show you. i guess it wasn't obvious enough. but i won't shy away from it now. i know you're scared annie. i know you don't want to ruin what we hav—