Loki one-shots fanfiction ♡

46. keep on falling when i know it hurts

Mobius looked up from the coffee cup in his hands, at the feeling of himself being watched. There was a black haired man with sharp jawlines looking at him from outside his favorite coffee shop where Mobius sat. The man was smiling softly, though there was sadness in his eyes.

And Mobius thought he knew the man, the familiarity behind the unfamiliar face. He couldn't recall the memories he shared with him, if there was one at all.

Or, after the TVA was gone, every agent returned to the old life that was stolen from them. Loki found it difficult to let Mobius go.

///

Pairing: Loki/Mobius M. Mobius

///

Loki's reason behind keeping his distance wasn't because of the fear of causing another nexus event — there was no such thing as a nexus event, not anymore, after the TVA was destroyed — but because he knew better than to put Mobius through another... whatever it was that he'd been put into, the lies, the way they stole his life from him.

Because Mobius got that back now, his life, and Loki couldn't — wouldn't — be so selfish as to drag the former agent back into this mess. He was the mess. Loki was the mess.

They had their goodbye. The hug they shared, Loki still thought about that for more times than he'd like to admit. The lingering warmth Mobius' body radiated when he wrapped both arms around Loki, that Loki still sometimes felt it, though he knew it was only in his imagination, the longing nostalgia that stubbornly refused to go away.

"Will you drop by sometimes?" Mobius had asked, before they parted.

You won't remember me, Loki answered in his head. You won't remember the TVA, any of this. I'll be a stranger to you. But he couldn't let Mobius know that, because if Mobius knew, he wouldn't go back. And Loki couldn't, wouldn't, hold him back, because Mobius deserved to return to the life that was stolen from him before all of this, the life Mobius had, maybe a family.

Loki wanted nothing more than to keep Mobius for himself, his only friend, his and his only. He cared too much for Mobius to do that. You deserve someone better than me.

"Of course," he said with a smile he hoped was convincing enough to hide the pain on his face. It technically wasn't a lie.

"My friend," Mobius said, and if hearing the word aloud send another wave of hurt down to Loki's chest, he covered it with a widened smile.

Because they were friends, it wouldn't matter if Loki wanted them to be more. Wouldn't matter when Mobius was about to forget him in a few more minutes, anyway. The feelings Loki had, the burning desire that screamed at him to kiss Mobius right on the spot, Loki locked them all away. He couldn't ruin this now.

"My friend," Loki said back with a hand placing on Mobius' shoulder. He hoped Mobius didn't sense anything suspicious in the way his own hand unconsciously kneaded the muscle, beneath the fabric of Mobius' jacket, like one would do a lover. Loki quickly retreated the hand back the second he realized what he, himself, was doing.

"It's been fun," he added, taking in all the details of Mobius' face, knowing he would miss seeing him this close. So close. "I mean... not the TVA, but the time we spent, the time I got to spend with you,"

To know you. To have come to love you.

"Indeed," Mobius smiled. He was clueless of Loki's feelings, the feelings Loki had for him, and Loki intended for it to stay that way, even if it might just kill him.

Mobius had turned back one last time once he stepped into the time door, though this time it was different, for he was going back to the life he had before the TVA came along. Loki, standing on the other side, had offered him another smile. And he thought he saw tears in Mobius' eyes as they looked at each other, it mirrored the tears clouding Loki's vision.