Coffee Boy and Cupcake Girl

chapter 18- the unofficial breakup

Chapter 18

I walk downstairs and meet with Anvi and Nyra. I say goodbye quickly, under the excuse of being tired, and leave rather than go home. I drove to the place Noah had shown me, the night we became friends. I sit down in the snow, not caring if my dress got wet. I wrap my jacket tighter around me, and think. His words are playing on repeat in my head.

"Shanaya can we talk?" he asks.

"We're talking right now, aren't we?" I ask him.

"Can we go somewhere more private?" He asks.

"Sure Noah," I say, waiting to be pleasant and not let on how bad I was feeling about him kissing someone else.

He leads me outside the building, and I can feel the chill of the cold winter air.

"Shanaya-"

"If this is about kissing the blonde girl in the office, it's completely fine. It's your personal life. You can do whatever you want." I say, unable to meet his eyes.

"I find myself constantly wanting to explain myself to you. I don't know why. I feel guilty. Please don't be distant. I miss you smiling at me. I miss our conversations. Please. Say something."

"What would you like me to say, Noah? You want me to say that I'm not okay with the blonde girl kissing you? Well you know what? I'm not okay. For whatever reason I can't stop feeling shitty about it. I saw you kissing her in the meeting room. I just can't deal with this right now. I told myself that we were going to have a strictly platonic relationship. And we do. I'm not going to ruin that."

"Shanaya, I can't stop thinking about-"

"Please don't say anything. I don't want to ruin this. Please Noah. I can't afford to have my heart broken by you."

"I can't stop thinking about you Shanaya! Why do you think I went and kissed someone else? I needed to get my mind off you? I don't know what the hell I'm feeling!"

"Look, Noah, I like you! I really do! But I'm not going to ruin our friendship! I don't want to get hurt by you! You are a player! How am I supposed to trust you if you keep doing the same thing-" He grabs my face with his hands, his lips barely an inch from mine. I pull away from him.

"What are you doing Noah??!" I remove his hands from my face. Butterflies are erupting everywhere. My skin misses the sudden warmth of his hands.

"I-I-"

"How can you touch me like that? I thought we were just friends??" I yell at him.

"I- I don't know! I've never felt this way before! Not ever! I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do when I'm around you because My brain stops! I can't think about anyone else when I'm around you! You consume my every thought!"

"I need some space. Merry Christmas Noah."

It keeps replaying in my head. No matter how many times I replay it, I can't stop the butterflies coming each time. I hear a car pulling in, and a figure walks down. I wipe away my tears and see him coming towards me. I get up and walk towards my car.

"Shanaya, please wait." I hear Noah's voice calling out to me.

I turn around and face him.

"Shanaya talk to me, please."

"What else do you want to say, Noah? Every time you tell me this it hurts me. It hurts me because I like you so much and I can't be with you. It hurts because I can't trust you this way. It hurts because I know you like me, and yet you still continue to hurt me. I can't stop thinking about what you said." I confess to him, tears now freely rolling down my face.

"Shanaya-"

"And you know what the worst part of all of this is? We were good friends. I thought we had a bond. We even had a moment. We almost kissed. And then you decide to go and kiss another girl. I felt so comfortable around you. Every time you hugged me I felt safe. Every time you touched me, I felt this warmth that I can't seem to let go of, not even now. After you hurt me."

"Shanaya please liste-"

"Just stay away from me Noah." I tell him and walk away. This time, he doesn't follow.

He HURT MY BABY!! WATCH OUT NOAH! IM COMING FOR YOUUUUUUUUU!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! EXCLAMATION POINTS ARE FUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

OKAY IM DONE!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR READING!!
LOTS OF LOVE,
SHANAYA