17 : stay focused if you don't want to fail

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seventeen:

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i felt the sunlight slightly stroking on my face making me feel warm as i open my eyes.

"ahh...." i groaned, holding my head and massaging my temples while getting up.

It's already morning... god i remembered how much i drank last night.

I don't know why but i can also remember what happened  yesterday very clearly... meaning i really sobered up after the harassment i got. last night was very traumatic. like really. But I am very thankful i have Jay with me... I feel so secure now all thanks to him.

But I don't want to think about him right now. my head is stinging like hell, i feel like It's getting torn into two. I quickly ran towards the bathroom to throw up everything i drank yesterday after i felt my stomach twisting and my throat getting filled up.

Why is this always like this..... I hate hangover mornings...

After a couple of more throwing up on the toilet, i washed my face on the sink and looked at myself in front of the mirror.

Exactly what I am wearing yesterday... Maybe I was too tired to even brush my teeth last night and....

and wait...

I moved closer towards the mirror, touching my neck and softly running my fingers on my collarbone.

there's so many hickeys all around my neck, jawline and collarbone.

I felt so flustered but i never hid it. I mentally cursed myself in front of the mirror as i watch myself blush in front of the mirror.

We should really focus on our goal starting from now on, Haru. Do not be stupid and do your job! stay professional, please.


"regretting your life decisions?"
i quickly turned towards the door of the bathroom, seeing him leaning on the doorway with his arms crossed in front of his chest. he must have seen me lost in my thoughts.

"What are you saying..." I asked. he looked at my eyes before shifting his gaze on my neck, looking at the purple marks all over it.

"they look so pretty on you." he fights a smile, biting his lips ever so lightly. he turned around and walked towards the bed, sitting on it comfortably.

"you did them." I mentally rolled my eyes and walked out of the bathroom. 

"Exactly why they are so pretty." he flashed a smirk. i scoffed, finding no replies on my vocabulary anymore. I'll just let him win today since my head is really stinging right now. I saw a glass of orange juice and painkilling medicines on the table next to the bed. did he brought them with him? i didn't saw that earlier.

I walked towards the side table and took the medicines and the orange juice. I drank everything and glanced at him. he's just watching me do my things. is he bored or what?

"Don't we have classes today?" I asked, trying to open up a conversation. I walked towards the small couch and sat there, looking at him with an arched eyebrow.

"It's Saturday, Love."

Love? 

my forehead creased and i gave him a disgusted look.

"Can you just pretend you are not in love with me, Jay?" I asked smirking at him. he raised an eyebrow and licked his lower lip.

"Are you sure I am the one falling here, Love?" he repeated that endearment once again but with more emphasis now. i don't actually want him to not fall for me anyways, it would be better for my job.

"I have a name, you dumbass. And yeah looking at the situation... It seems like you're falling real deep." i said and shrugged my shoulder. he's enigmatic, I can't really read what he is thinking.

"If you say so..."
he mischievously chuckled and rested his back on the bed. he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I should've been really mad at you by now..." he murmured which made me laugh softly. That's what I am thinking too. he should be mad at me right now. what the hell is he doing?

"I want to know why you lied." he whispered, not even looking at me. he was staring at the ceiling as if he's stargazing.

I sighed. maybe i should really tell him now. He already saw me at my weakest and i don't think he'll hate me for being weak.

"I am... not what you think I am." I said and looked down. I saw him glancing at my direction looking at me with curiosity. "You thought I never experienced love right?"

he paused for a moment before nodding his head.

"The truth is that I already did... But I, like you, was very unfortunate. My exes always ended up leaving me."
I simply said not really caring about what will happen at all now.

"So you're also heartbroken...?" he asked me. I nodded my head in approval.

"Then we are alike. let me guess... you saw your ex yesterday right?"
I looked at him as if he can read my mind. he chuckled knowing that he got it right.

"Can I ask who he is?" I just shook my head with his question. I don't know what will happen to my exes if Jay will know them. I don't want trouble for fvck's sake.

"fine fine~" he chuckled. I just shook my head, looking at him.

he pursed his lips then he sighed. he sat on the bed and looked at me.

"we're both heartbroken... both got nothing to do and both just want to forget about everything in the past. we're so alike."
he said, shaking his head. 

"How about we try us?" I suggested, making him look at me with confusion.

That's right... Be curious.. fall on the trap.

"us?"

"Yeah.... like two broken things fixing each other. won't that work?" i smiled at him, he just look at me with his forehead creased.

It seems like he's still not buying it. I need to convince him even more...

"Well, since we are dating anyways, why not we just elevate it? I mean, we're supposed to date yesterday right?"

"And you cancelled it." he retorted which made me laugh at him.

"Don't be salty, we can do it today."
I playfully rolled my eyes at him. He scoffed, standing up on the bed.

He looked at me, walking towards my direction before leaning towards my chair.

He put both of his hands on my sides as he leaned closer.

"I don't know what you're thinking but it seems like a good idea."

he licked his lower lip and looked at my lips.

"Yeah right?" I awkwardly chuckled, finding the distance between the two of us quite small.

"However..." he leaned closer, brushing his lips on my ear which tickled me a bit. i flinched a little which made him lowly chuckle.

"I hope you don't fall, Love." he whispered in a low, rough and matured tone before walking away from me and leaving me on the couch.

He turned back towards me before leaving the room.

"I'll cook your breakfast, go downstairs after you clean up." he smirked, opening the door and leaving the room completely.

I smiled at myself.

Now's the perfect timing to execute my job. Way to go, Haru.

Make him fall.

Madly

Deeply

And insanely fast.

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Ofc we're back with the heartbreak agenda again NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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