professional heartbreaker | 제이✓

21 : invite him for a drink to reveal honesty

twentyone:

(It's been awhile~ hai hai!)

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"Tell me... What am i to you?"
I repeated, looking at his eyes with sincerity. That was a genuine question and I was not thinking straight to blurt it all out.

What am I to him... Since when did that became important? He's nothing but my mission!!

Wake yourself up, Jeon Haru.

"You're...."
he can't even answer me. I just shook my head, slightly pushing him away from me.

"I'm sorry Haru-"

What is he apologizing for?

"Nevermind... Let's just go."
I told him. He didn't said anything anymore so i hopped inside his car and waited for him to drive us home.

I am lying if i will tell you I am not disappointed. My mood is ruined and I am really disappointed. Disappointed of what? Of him?

"Love... Let's talk about this..."
He said after sitting on the driver's seat. He didn't started the engine and just rested both of his hands on the steering wheel, sighing.

"For goddamn's sake Jay stop calling me that."

"Why? Because you don't like it?"
He asked. I looked at him with a piercing glare as if i am asking what is it that he's not picking up.

"Because you're making me feel like someone special!! And I hate it!!"

"Why would you...."
He looked at me, confusion painting his eyes. I just glanced at him before rolling my eyes, looking outside of the window on my side.

I heard him sigh before starting the car.

"You're confusing me... Haru."
He said in frustration, driving us home.

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Later that day, I called Soomin to have someone i can tell all my feelings to. My mind was very clouded and i can't process well. I need to declutter these thoughts out of my head or else i'll go insane.

"You have fallen in love, Haru."
After telling her everything, that's the only thing she said. Funny how out of any comforting words I am expecting she gave me something i never wanted to hear.

"That's ridiculous."
I denied, shaking my head as i walked towards my small veranda where i can unwind.

"It's not. You're just way too in denial of your feelings. Because you already experienced way too many heartbreak, you are so scared of admitting it now. Just based on your stories i can clearly see you've fallen hard. But you just don't want to admit it. "
I shook my head in disapproval with Soomin's remarks. She's being way too ridiculous. That can't be happening!!

"You're really funny... Soomin."

"Yeah right deny it even more and you'll find yourself falling deeper. It's okay to fall in love again, Haru. What if he treats you right this time?"

"But he's a playboy!! You know the reason of this mission, right?"

"People can change, Haru. Especially after a heartbreak! He already got the taste of his own medicine!! He'll never want it again for sure."