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46: the spring will never be the same again

fourtysix:

_________

Haru's

one month...

"Hey... are you sure you're okay?"
i was spacing out, looking at the beautiful scene in front of me as the sun sets while the cherry blossoms are falling. My phone is next to my ear and i am hearing Soomin's whiny voice from the other side. I sighed and looked down. It was already a month... a month.

"yeah."
I answered. It was hard, of course. that night was unforgettable. everything we built was ruined.

"You should've told me that you'll come to Japan. hmph! I should've came with you!!"
she whined, yet again. I let out a soft laugh and looked above. The cherry blossoms on the tree next to me is already falling down. the spring is coming to its end after all.

Like how our love has came to its end, bittersweet. ever since that night, Jay never contacted me ever again. he despised me. i know that. I hurt him, like alot. 

I can still remember the words he said that night. the scenes were too vivid to me to even forgot.

"Why do you have to fix me just to break me again? I was already aching when you came! you fixed me! you healed me and I thought I already found my peace in you because you made me feel that! Did you have your fun, Haru? Making a fool out of me? You won! Why the hell are you crying? I cannot fvcking understand everything!" 

It was like that at first... that was really what i wanted to do. 

But as time passed by, I started to feel things I shouldn't feel. He made me feel in comfort. he made me feel protected. he made me feel secure. he became my peace. my home. my everything.

I swear if I was only given the chance to tell him everything, I will. No lies. I won't lie to him anymore. If only things didn't ended up the way it ended up right now, maybe... maybe he's still mine. 

I keep regretting things i should've done when he was still by my side. I should've done better.

I caressed the tattoo on my wrist. it was a symbolism of him. his name, his love. tears started pooling from my eyes at that moment. i suddenly felt lonely again. i never experienced this before from my past break ups. i thought it can't be worsen anymore... the pain.

It's the worst now.

I miss him.

"It makes me sad just by seeing you like that, Haru."

I heard a very familiar voice of a guy from my side, sitting on the bench where i was sitting and putting a cup of hot americano next to me.

"Why are you here... How?"
I asked him, wiping the tears on my eyes. Kento chuckled, giving me his handkerchief. I just took it and wiped my tears. Oh god when will these end?

"Soomin called me earlier, telling me you're here again."  he answered, smiling softly. He sighed and looked at the sunset where i was looking at earlier. I was still with Soomin on the phone. She must have heard Kento because i can hear her giggle.

"Is kento already there? God, he's quick!!"
She said. I just shook my head.

"I'll end the call now that i have someone i can talk to already."
I told her.

"Wait! Before you hang up, I just wanna remind you about the bridal shower this weekend! You'll go home right? Right?"

"Of course. I'll be there."
Soomin and Jake's marriage is already around the corner. They are both busy for the preparations and things are actually very popular in the social media right now, knowing they both of them came from a big family.