I WANT YOU SO BAD (BoyxBoy) | ✔

45. A perfect date.

JORDAN’S POV

I took a deep breath to control myself against the onslaught of emotions.

Nick was kneeling between my legs with his bottom lip trapped inside his teeth and he was looking at me like I was going to beat him any second. His hands were shaking and his whole back was pulled taut with tension.

“Nick,” I called him. Again, and again. Until he fully focused on me rather than what he was seeing.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“What— what? You are asking me? I – I was the one who …” He stammered.

“Hey.” I got on my elbows and on my knees matching Nick’s position. I drew his face in my hands and made him look me in the eye.

Those dark grey eyes were full of unnamed emotions. Cloudy with judgment for himself. With regret.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Nick. I always liked – and will like what you do to me. I just didn’t know you were hurting doing what I liked.”

“What?” Nick asked.

How could I have been this selfish?

All this time, I just thought about myself. Sure, I was the one who got kidnapped and tortured but it didn’t mean that Nick got the least part of it. He had been helpless, trapped in his own mind, guilty for getting me kidnapped in the first place.

I never acknowledged them. I just thought he was not touching me because he felt like he would hurt me somehow or I would panic. Which he did think of. He was trying not to let dark thoughts enter my mind. In that way, he compromised himself.

My selfless, beautiful Nick.

All I thought was that one-way solution to my problem but I didn’t think how Nick would feel by that.

I knew that he was not repulsed by having sex with me. Far from that. I saw the uncontained hunger for me sweltering in his eyes this afternoon. I think his problems were more complex.

Until he says what it is, I wouldn’t know. I huffed out a breath and steeled myself.

“Nick, I don’t want to have sex if you are not ready.”

Nick froze and looked at me strangely.

“What are you talking about?”

“All I am saying is that you don’t have to have sex with me just because I asked you. We can go at it on our own time.”

“What? No, you are wrong –” He stopped immediately when I narrowed my eyes. “Jo, listen to me. Yes, I was wary first, I thought I would hurt you so I stopped touching you but then …. It’s just, it’s not you. I know I am ready, but still, there are some reservations, you know.” He said and hung his head in shame.

I tsked and gathered his face in my hands and made him look at me.

“Nick, I love you more than anyone in this world and trust you with my life. Why would you think you would hurt me?” His eyes were still brimming with worry. So, I just sighed and hugged him close.

Our body was flush together and I felt my dick stir again when I felt his hard muscles pressed against mine. But I know today is not the day to rehash our frenzy fucking. Today we just have to take it slow and let the time decide.

A plan formed in my head and my smile deepened.

“Come on,” I said as I hopped down from the bed and pulled out a fresh pair of underwear from my drawer.