PHAN ONE SHOTS :)

Sandra Sucks.

"Come on Dan!" Groans the black haired boy. "I'm starving, I can feel my stomache eating it's self." "Hold your horses Philip, sexiness like this," Dan motions to his outfit, "doesn't just happen. It takes time and precision." Dan states sassily. "Whatever you say Dan, but please for the sake of my stomache, could you hurry up with the sexification." Phil sais exasperatedly. "Fine, hold on just a second." Dan throws on his leather jacket, and walks to the door. "Let's go Philip." Dan said grabbing the older mans hand and dragging him out the door.

Dan and Phil walked down the street exchanging casual conversation. "But what if I topped Phil?" Dan said in a pleading voice. "Not gonna happen Dan." Phil said putting on the signature smirk that  drove Dan crazy. "Just once Philly?" Dan said sticking his lower lip out, and giving Phil his best puppy eyes. "We'll see." Phil said grinning. "Really?" Dan said astonished. "Nope." Phil replied, laughing at the fake hurt expression Dan was giving him.

They finally reached their destination. Mazzio's, the best pizza place either of them had ever expierenced in their lives. It was in Dan's words, "Orgasmic." Phil did the boyfriendly thing and opened the door for Dan, then ruined it by smacking Dan's butt as he entered behind him. Dan jumped, whirling around and giving Phil his best 'I will eat you soul' glare. Phil laughed at Dan's expression, and pecked Dans cheek, making Dan blush and look at the ground.

"Can I help you all?" A bleach blonde waitress said walking up to seat Dan and Phil. "Umm a booth for two please." Phil said with a friendly smile. The waitress, who's name tag read Sandra, looked Phil up and down, clearly checking him out. Dan felt bile and jealousy rise up his throat and he really wanted to slap a hoe. "Anything for you sweet pea." Sandra said with a wink. "Follow me." She lead them to a table, and set down their menues. "Can I start you off with something to drink?" She said looking at Phil, and licking her lips. "Uh, just a, umm, Pepsi is fine." Phil said looking uncomfortable under the skanks stare. She turned to Dan, and didn't even say anything, she only raised an eyebrow and sighed like Dan was wasting her time. "Water." Dan snapped, not using an ounce of kindness. Sandra walked off, hips swaying, only to turn back and wink at phil.

"I'm gonna murder a bit-"

"Dan!" Phil interrupted Dan mid sentence. "Its okay, she's just a creepy fourty year old waitress that has a bad tan." Phil said leaning across the table and laying a gentle hand on Dan's cheek. "I've only got eyes for you, bear." Phil whispered to Dan. Dan internally awwed at how special Phil made him feel.

The waitress came back a little later with the drinks and the appetizers they had ordered. "Thanks." Phil said. Dan only glared. "What can I get you?" She said, loudly chewing the pink bubble gum. "Uh, We'll have a large supreme pizza." Phil answered. She smiled, at Phil once again, bending over a little showing more cleavage. "Oh and hun, if you ever wanna mess around a little, my shift ends at four." She said winking at Phil.

Suddenly Dan didn't care if Phil only had eyes for him, he was not gonna sit there and let a blonde bimbo flirt with his Phil. Dan raised himself out of the booth, and stretched across the table, catching a confused look from Phil. Then he slammed his lips against Phil's, knocking over the two drinks in the process. The liquid quickly covering the table, but Dan didn't care, and neither did Phil. Dan deepened the kiss and they made out over a booth, all the while the waitress stood there, mouth agape. Dan finally pulled away, giggling and he looked at the waitress. "Oh, yea, he doesn't really swing that way."  Dan said to the waitress, motioning at Phil." Sandra still stood their mouth wide open. "Oh and by the way, could we get some napkins, the service here is terrible." Dan stated using his sassy, yet innocent voice. That got Sandra's mouth to snap shut, she glared at Dan, but stormed off. She came back 20 minutes later with napkins and their pizza. She walked away without looking at either one of the boys or saying anything. Dan and Phil burst out laughing. "This is why I love you." Phil said clutching his sides. With that they dug in, filling up on pizza and laughs. They left the pizza place 45 minutes later, and they didn't even tip the waitress.