PHAN ONE SHOTS :)

ITS A FUNNY STORY.

Hi, my name is

[Katie]

So my phanfiction obsession this week is FakeRelationship!Phan I've read so many stories on tumblr lately its becoming a cronic illness.

Summary: Dan is being hit on by a perv and Phil comes to save the day by pretending to be Dans boyfriend.

Word Count: 981

"I'll go get the crisps if you get the cereal." I said to Phil putting the milk in the shopping cart.

"You just want me to get the cereal because its on the other side of the store and Tesco is fucking huge." Phil pointed out with his hands on his hips.

"Precisely. Please Phil I'm so lazyyyy!!!" I said dragging out the Y dramatically.

"I'm eating your cereal later!" Phil said walking off with a huff.

"You do that anyway!!!" I yelled after him.

I walked through three or four more isles looking for the bold packaging that the crisps came in.

Okay we've got BBQ, sour cream and onion, coffe flavored- why are their coffee flavored crisps???? Er- cheddar cheese, cheetos...

I eventually settled on a bag of regular crisps and a bag of BBQ crisps. I grabbed the two bags and spun around to place them in the shopping cart when I was met with a man, standing right in front of me.

"Er- Hello?" I said trying to be polite.

"Hi there gorgeous" The blonde man said showing off his white teeth. (A/N I just cringed so bad writing that omg I'm gonna go puke rn ewww.)

"Uh-" I stuttered out.

"You have really pretty eyes." He said with a wink.

"I-Uh-Thanks..." No words were coming out.

The urge to tell this guy to fuck the fuck off was strong. I could tell he was a fuckboy from the start, but my tongue refused to cooperate with my brain.

"Do you wanna go on a date with me brown eyes?" He said throwing in what I'm assuming is supposed to be a dashing smile.

"I'd really rather not." I said finally getting an actual sentence out.

The blonde man squinted his eyes at me. His glare throwing me off. He just went from trying to be charming to asshole in two seconds.

"Are you sure about that sweetie?" He said grabbing my forearm and yanking me closer to him.

"Yes! Now let me go!" I said struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Maybe you wanna rethink that decision..." He said through gritted teeth.

"The only thing that needs rethinking is your existence!" I heard Phils voice cut through beside me.

The blonde haired man loosened his grip enough for me to yank my arm away, and take several steps back so I was slightly hiding behind Phil.

"And who are you?" Creepy McWeirdo said.

"Who am I? I think the real question is who the fuck are you? And why the fuck are you talking to my boyfriend.

Boyfriend. Did Phil just say I was his boyfriend? Why? I looked up at Phil and his sholders were rigid, something that normally happens when he is pissed the fuck off. I looked at his hands and they were clenched in fists. Damn. I only see him like this when he stands up for me. The thought made butterflys erupt in my stomache and my cheeks turn red.

"Boyfriend? He's your boyfriend?" The guy said slowly.

"Did I fucking stutter?" Phil said stepping closer to the weird man that won't take no for an answer.

Damn protective Phil was hot af.

"Hey take it easy buddy. I didn't know." The dude said raising his hands in the air in surrender.

"One. I'm not your fucking buddy. Two. He repeatedly said no, and you kept advancing. Three. You put your hands on my boyfriend and I want nothing more than to cut your dick off and feed it to you!" Phil said taking a few more steps towards the dumb blonde guy.

"Hey babe, babe, Phil!!" I said grabbing his arm. "Just let it go. He's not worth it. I'm fine, lets just get our stuff and go."

Phil looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I just smiled at him and blushed.

"Come on, he's not worth your time." I said trying to lead him away.

Phil turned and looked at the creep. "You got fucking lucky, you fucking douche canoe."

Phil turned on his heel and grabbed me by the waist. He leaned down and pecked my lips. His soft lips barely brushed mine but I could feel my face heat up.

Fuck it.

I grabbed Phils face and pulled it to mine once more, latching our lips together. Phil put his hands on my hips and squeezed them tightly.

We broke apart smiling and slightly out of breath. We looked back to find McCreepy was gone.

"So boyfriend when did we start dating?" I aksed with a smile on my face, my arms still wrapped around Phils neck.

"When I asked you out, duh." Phil said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And when did you do that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Right now." Phil said with a grin. "What do you say?"

I laughed at his cheesiness.

"Only if you become angry at people that hit on me more. Jealous Phil is hot." I said leaning in to peck his lips.

"You know one day this is gonna be a funny story." Phil said.

Dan giggled "I think its funny now."

YOLO SWAGGINS.

So updates on my life. (Lolzor don't read this omg)

1) Guess who got a job at McDonalds. (Me)

2) There was A HUGE FUCKING MOTH ON MY DOOR TODAY AND I TRIED TO GET IT TO FLY AWAY AND BE FREE BUT IT JUST FELL TO THE GROUND AND MY CAT ATE IT :'(

R.I.P MOTHY
????-2015

3) I'm a fucking phangirl.

THIS STORY WAS CRINGY AF. OOPS

My last story was called another phan poem and everytime i hear it I'm like

ARE YOU READY FOR ANOTHER BAD POEM? ONE MORE OFF KEY ANTHEM.

GOD BLESS FALL OUT BOY.

IN OTHER NEW PHILS NEW VIDEO MADE ME FUCKING DIE OF CUTENESS. ESPECIALLY AT THE END. THE WAY HE SAID HE WOULD SEE US VERY SOON MADE ME WANT EAT MY OWN FLESH.

IDK.

C U SOON SKUNK NUGGETS!