the exception

36. i hope...

HEYOOO- sorry this chapter is actually extremely boring. im tryna work my way to a big event w/o it seeming rushed- SOOO IM SORRY BUT SOMETHING INTERESTING AND...YEAH INTERESTING IS COMING UR WAY. ENJOYYYYY 

{One month later}

Nina's pov

I'm breathing heavily as I barge through the door and slam it behind me. I rest my head against the door as I try calming my breath.

"Woah woah...are you okay?", I hear him say.

I shake my head, "No! N-no I can't do it anymore-"

I feel his warm hands take mine and I raise my head, looking at him.

"Neens take a breath, okay?", he says.

He guides me up the stairs and into his bedroom. I slouch down onto his bed.

It's been about a month since my mom has passed. And let me say it's been quite the rollercoaster. Some days are good, some days are bad...mostly bad. But, Ricky's kept his word and he's still here with me and so are all my friends. They're all so sweet and loving...but it just doesn't mask the pain. Of course, their friendship love helps me all the time...but I just have no one left to really...love me.

It's safe to say I've been struggling with my mental health the past month too. I think it's pretty clear to my friends as well. I just feel like there isn't a purpose of living anymore without my parents. But...I'm working on it. I go to therapy and stuff...and of course Ricky helps as well.

Ricky's pov

I take a deep breath and look at the brunette-haired girl seated on my bed. The love of my life. My heart breaks for her more and more every day. She's struggling...but won't admit it to any of us. Also, the past month I've contemplated when I should...ask her to be my girlfriend. I want her to be mine in a heartbeat, but I don't want to rush things for her. I especially don't want to ask the question and put her in an awkward place if she's not ready. All I'm worried about is her being okay.

"Okay, Neens...what's wrong?', I quietly ask, sitting next to her.

She blinks and sends tears down her face, 'I-I just can't do it anymore Ricky"

"Do what Neens?"

"Be alive for goodness sakes!", she raises her voice, running her hands through her hair while tears fall down her face.

"Nina what happened at the diner?!", I ask, getting worried, "You were fine before you left I-"

She looks at me with her blood-shot eyes, "It's not just at the diner, Ricky! It's...everywhere. Everything."

I sigh, "Okay...just let it all out Neens. Whatever is going through your head. Just get it out."

She wipes her eyes, "I'm exhausted. I'm drained. Ever since Makenna left for college, the good customers stopped showing up at the diner and now it's these nasty, rude people who have no hearts. The pain for my parent's loss isn't going away, it's only growing stronger. I can't take it anymore. I can't take having to live on this earth knowing they're not here anymore. School starts tomorrow...that just adds a ton of pressure. I mean- it's senior year. I need to graduate so I can have a good, decent job so I can make a future for myself and survive- I just...it's too much Ricky...", she blurts out.

The room goes silent and she's breathing heavy, tears building up. Once again...my heart shatters. Bullets straight through my heart. She hasn't opened up to me like that in a long time. And hearing her saying she just doesn't even want to be alive anymore...makes my heart sink. I can't imagine my world without her in it.