Into the Light

149 Anna's POV

I made no move to take it, because I was still upset that he had spoken to me in that way, without letting me try to explain. Instead, I just stared at it, until he dropped it back down to his side. "Let's give them a few minutes. I'm going to try and get in touch with Ash," Sam said, taking Kat's hand. He held his other hand out to Colby. "Let me use your phone. I don't have his number." Colby dug in his pocket and handed over his phone, never taking his eyes from mine. Once Sam and Kat walked down the hall and into another room, Colby started to talk. "Anna, look, I'm sorry. I really am. I was scared. You scared me. I want to know why you would do something like that, but I am sorry that I got so angry with you. Can we please talk about it?" I wanted to stand my ground and make him suffer a bit, before giving in, but then I thought about it. We might not have much time left together. Time wasn't something that I should waste on being petty and mad. I sighed, letting out a deep breath and met his gaze again. "Are you going to let me try to explain?" I asked, noticing my voice was still a little haughty. I might not want to waste any time being angry, but that didn't mean that I wasn't still angry. "Yes," he answered, and held his hand out to me again. I looked at it for a minute, then slowly placed my palm into his. He led me back to the large room where we had started practicing. Once we were sitting down on the couch, he turned to face me. He stayed silent and waited for me to speak. I looked down at his sweatpants that he had let me borrow. They were slightly too big, but really comfortable. And they made me feel closer to him somehow. I started randomly pulling at a stray thread and tried to think of how to say what I needed too. "Okay," he said, after waiting a few minutes for me to speak. "I really need you to tell me what happened, Anna. Was it...her? Did she make you do that?" I felt tears well up in my eyes, as I nodded, and swiped at them angrily with my hand. "No baby, don't cry," he said, softly. This only made the tears come harder. I hated to fucking cry, but I was scared and frustrated. I had thought that the connection was maybe no longer there. I hadn't felt her in a long time. I hadn't had any dreams or anything, since Colby and I had made love. I definitely didn't think that she could still make me do things. He pulled me into his arms, so that my face was buried in his chest. I knew we didn't have time for this, so I worked on stopping the tears and controlling those stupid gasping breaths that seemed to come with them. After another couple of minutes, I took a deep, shaky breath and pulled away from him. "I don't know what happened," I said, softly, not meeting his gaze. I knew, if I did, I would just start crying again. "I was watching the wolf. I knew that something wasn't right about it, but I didn't know what. Until you called it she. Then, it looked at me. Even from far away, I could feel its gaze holding mine. I didn't know that I was opening the door. Not until you said something...but even then, I couldn't stop myself. I wasn't thinking about getting out of the car, or anything. I only felt fear. All I can think of is that she made me do it, somehow. The connection has to still be strong, if she can control me." I raised my eyes to his blue ones and took another deep breath. Those eyes, that I loved so much, were full of worry, fear, and even anger again. It wasn't directed at me though. I knew he was mad at her. At the Darkness. "Colby...if she can control me, then how am I supposed to fight against her? What if she uses me to hurt you or someone else? Or all of you? I couldn't live with myself, if that happened." I looked back down at my legs and started pulling on the thread again. I felt his fingers against my chin, as he raised my face up so that he could meet my gaze again. "She won't. I know she won't be able too...but, if you're worried about that, if seems like she had to look into your eyes for it to work. Just don't look at her. You've been practicing with your eyes closed, so do that. Or look down or at me. Just don't look at her. This isn't your fault, Anna. This is all on her...and I'm going to make her pay for what she's done to you. I promise. No matter what I have to do." The steel in his voice sent chills down my spine. Not in a good way. No, this scared me. Not because he was angry with me, but because I believed him. He meant that he would do anything, even risk his own life more than he already would be, and that terrified me. "No, Colby, you can't!" I exclaimed, taking his hand in both of mine. The pain from my wrist was just a dull throb now, but new sharpness formed when I bent my fingers around his. "Don't you dare try to throw yourself in front of the bus or take all of this onto yourself! I couldn't stand it, if you- if you-" I couldn't even bring myself to say the word. Die. What would be the point of me being back, if he weren't here with me? I was meant to go through what I did and I knew why, now. I was meant to wait for him. For Colby. I had to wait for him to be born and to grow up. I had to wait for the perfect moment for him to rescue me. My knight in black armor and chains. I didn't have my family. Not really. Holley and I, even though I loved her immensely and she would always be my best friend, we weren't the same people as we were. She was a grandmother. She had so many life experiences, while I was barely getting started. I loved Sam, Kat, and the rest, but I only knew them because of Colby. My life in this time would mean nothing without him. "You promise me right now," I replied, quietly. "You promise me that you won't take any unnecessary risks. That you won't try to be the martyr. Your death will not save us. It will end us." He didn't say anything for a minute and that had my anxiety rising quickly. My body started to tremble when I thought of life without him.