Creation- Demon slayer fanfic

Chapter 20

For the past week I've been sticking to the schedule and every passing day it gets easier, but I get more exhausted. My whole body is aching and only one quarter of the training period has passed. The others have been training as well, though I noticed that Zenitsu and Inosuke have pretty much given up.

Shinobu still gives me cold looks and though I've done nothing wrong, things have gotten worse. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help around the mansion and her answer was...upsetting... she told me that leaving would be the best course of action if I wanted to help. When I tried to give her gifts she broke them and threw them away like they were nothing. She hates me and it's all because I look like a demon. That blind man lied, she will never like me. Which is fine I guess... not everyone can like me. Though I crave acceptance. I think that's because of where I grew up. No one liked me back home, no one accepted me.

I want to stay and help Tanjiro with his mission, but I can't stand being near Shinobu. She reminds me too much of someone...

I walk outside into the chilling morning air. Sitting down, I practice concentration breathing once again. This part has gotten much easier. After I'm done, I decide to go find Shinobu. I need to ask her something that could potentially end horribly. I find her in her lab and I approach her.

" What do you want?"

" I was just wondering... if I were to look more human, would you hate me less?" I ask.

She stares at me.

" No. Just because you look human doesn't mean you aren't a demon."

I look at the ground in sorrow.

" I just want you to accept me..."

" Well I won't. And I never will. No one will ever  accept you Aku! You are a demon!"

Well this is taking a turn.

"Tanjiro does," I answer.

" Tanjiro is lying! He doesn't care about you! He's afraid you'll hurt him!"

She shoves me to the ground roughly and stands over me.

" He wouldn't lie..."

" Of course he would!" she laughs, " he's afraid you'll hurt him! You are nothing to him, you couldn't possibly ever mean anything! You are a demon, one not related by blood! He doesn't know who you are, he isn't your friend!"

" I... I'm not a demon... I'm just a kid! I just want to know who I am!"

My eyes and nose start to burn.

" So what? Most demons were kids, but now they're monsters! Just like you! Demons will never amount to anything! You should just cower away in a corner and die!"

" You're supposed to be nice," I whisper, voice shaky.

I guess I kind of did bring this upon myself... but what she said was unnecessary. 

" Only to those who deserve it, not ones who are scum and are worthless," she spits.

Walking away, she leaves me on the ground. Why did she say those things. Is it the truth? Am I just someone who shouldn't walk this earth? Will I always amount to nothing? I wrap my arms around my knees and keep my eyes wide. Why would she say that...

Minutes pass as I lay on the cold floor. I can't seem to move. What she had said was all too familiar, something I didn't want to hear again. All I wanted was for her to accept me...so why? Why did she have to lash out? 

I stand up shakily, cheeks soaked. If I was not meant to live... does that mean it really is my fault? Was it my fault that my sister and mother died?

When night comes I'll leave the butterfly mansion. I think that may be best at this point...

I return to my room and wait there for the rest of the day. I don't answer any of the knocks on my door, but I sit in front of it so no one can get inside. I'm going to leave without saying goodbye because then no one will know. I'm trying to convince myself that this is for the best. I'm clearly not wanted in Shinobu's home, so I have to respect that. After all, it is her home. 

Night falls and I quietly open the door of the room I was staying in. I look left and right down the hallway and then walk out. Everyone must be asleep by now.

This is ridiculous. So what if one person doesn't like you?

" I don't want to create a bad atmosphere here. Besides... what she said is unforgivable. I don't want to stay," I whisper.

Suck it up! It's one measly little human.

I decide not to answer as I get outside. I'm headed towards the fence, but something stops me. I stare ahead at the women in front of the gate. I immediately turn around, changing my mind. I'm going to climb over the wall. I get to the edge of the property and jump over the brick easily. I then make my way through the trees. I sigh as I see, once again, the women blocking my path.

" You're leaving?" Shinobu asks.

" Of course. It's obvious I'm not wanted."

She approaches me.

" I spoke to Tanjiro... and I'm sorry about what I said..."

I narrow my eyes.

" Oh you're sorry?"

" I realize now that what I said might have influenced the ideals of your father. I'm sorry..."

I remain silent, not acknowledging her apology.

" I was told about your sister as well and I know how badly that hurts," she says softly.

" Oh you know how bad it hurts?"

" Yes... my sister was also ki-"

" Don't act like you can relate to me. Your sister died because she was a demon slayer. If you hadn't been born, she would have still died. If I hadn't been born, my sister and mother would have both still been alive!" I cry.

" Aku..."

" You said it yourself! I shouldn't have been born!" I yell, voice cracking.

" I didn't mean it... I was just angry..."

" Just angry?! You were just angry so you took it out on me?!"

" I realize now that what I said may have been similar to what was said by your father and I'm truly sorry for that. I just was upset because demons are creatures who just devour and don't show one shred of empathy to the families they take from. I was mad that people thought you were cool and I was bitter that they didn't question you!"

" I don't care what you realize now. What's done is done. You can't change the past."

" I know, but I can try and make it up to you..."

" With your sudden change of heart?"

" My master spoke to me as well as Zenitsu, Tanjiro, and Inosuke. They told me what you've done for them and how Inosuke wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you... neither would Tanjiro. If you weren't born they would have died. Nezuko would have died."

" That's nothing in comparison to having my family alive."

" But you see them as family."

I inhale sharply and widen my eyes.

" You see Nezuko as your sister and Tanjiro as your brother."

I take a step back shocked.

" No."

Shinobu steps closer to me.

" You do, don't deny it."

I can't deny it. I think Nezuko reminds me of my biological sister.

" Just please... stay. Give me another chance. You don't have to forgive me..."

Do I stay? After what she said?