Camilo Madrigal x y/n

Part 35

Y/n's POV:

Carlos was forced to go home. I feel bad for him. he had to go home early from his own girlfriends funeral. Camilo dragged me over to an area away from his family.
"Y/n." Camilo whispers.
"What's up?" I reply.
"I think we need to go check on Carlos. Today must be so hard for him. I know he looks tough and stone cold on the outside... but on the inside he is so sensitive. Dolores sometimes tells me how he cry's everything night, sometimes for no reason."
"Alright then. We'll go."
We tell Camilo's parents that we are going to the Casita. We arrive and we head inside. Immediately we hear a faint crying sound. We walk up the stairs. Camilo leans his ear on the door. Carlos was crying. Hard. So hard it made me feel like crying because I felt so bad. Camilo walks into his room. So do I. Carlos is laying there. He looks at us in fright. His face was all red and puffy. His eyes were red and watery. There were tears all over his face. He hid his face. That's when I noticed there were needles on his bed. Camilo walks over to Carlos.
"Carlos? What's wrong?"
"Nothing!"
"Just tell me! I know you don't like talking about it, but this is something that you can't keep in!" Camilo sits on his bed.
"Seriously! Nothing is wrong! Leave me alone!" Carlos rocked himself.
"Then why do you have needles on your bed?" Camilo says.
"T-There-" he picks the needles up off of his bed and hides them under his pillow.
"Please."
Camilo hides his face in his knees. Camilo stands up. He walks me over to the door.
"Here. Stand outside. I think he wants it to be private.." Camilo leans in and whispers, "but I'll tell you after."
I agree and I walk outside. I wait outside his door for awhile.

Camilo's POV:

I walk back over to Carlos' bed. I sit down.
"Can you tell me now? I won't tell!" I say.
Carlos looks up at me. He looks me up and down. His watery eyes sparkled in the sun. He looks around his room to make sure y/n truly wasn't there. He nods his head. I crawl over beside him. He snuggled up to me close. He placed his head on my chest. He sighed. I played with his hair. He fidgeted with my bracelet. He had a worried expression on his face.
"Are you sure you want to know?" Carlos questions.
"Go ahead!" I say with a soft voice.
I kissed the top of his head. He started whimpering, trying not to cry.
"I-I l-loved Ava... and our unborn child. At first I was worried. But then.. I realized maybe we could be good parents.. I finally was happy.. for once. And I thought.. maybe once our child comes I can finally have someone who looks up to me? Who looks forward to seeing me, giving me hugs, someone to love me. But that was t-taken away from me.. Mom hates me. She whispered in my ear, 'if you weren't coming with, I wouldn't want to go. I've always hated that Ava girl.' And she kept dragging me along. Why do I mess up so hard? How did I end up like this? I was kicked out for a couple years. But I came back. Why am I such an idiot. Why does no one love me?" Carlos started to cry.
He turned his face to my chest.
"Carlos. I love you, Antonio loves you, Dolores loves you!" I say.
"I do drugs, I drink alcohol, I self harm.."
"Those additions can't be that bad! Right..?" I question.
"You've probably seen me laying somewhere passed out because I've gotten an overdose maybe.. five times? But when I say I've gotten an overdose way more than that... I'm telling you the truth. Honestly, I pass out hoping I don't wake up... but I do. I hate it." Carlos sniffles.
"Oh... it's okay. I mean- not the addictions. But it's okay not to feel happy all the time. Obviously you can't be sad all the time. But I do remember feeling the same way about life. Whether it was worthy or not."
"You did? I thought you were always happy..?"
"Yeah, I did.. and I remember feeling like I always had to be the 'the happy one', but I learned that being happy all the time.. really wears you out. And being happy all the time made me feel sad. So, what I'm trying to say is, feeling like you want to die is normal...ish. But not all the time. That's why you need to talk to someone about your issues, okay? Talk to me, our siblings, y/n even!" I kissed Carlos' head.
"Okay... thank you! I-I love you... I guess.." he didn't want to be awkward but I knew he meant it.
"Aw. I love you too!" I laid my head on his.
I think we fell asleep.