First Lady | Mikey

42

Move on.

Ella's pov

"Stella, please take care of yourself, you're not like this before..."

Dad said and caressed my hair while I was laying in the hospital bed. I fainted again because of lack of sleep and not eating. This has already happened many times since that day, and I hate myself for that.

I'm losing myself, Dad is right this is not like me. I was healthy and strong, but I felt like it all faded in just one word.

"Let's just end this."

There it is again, tears again are falling in my eyes every damn time I remember his harsh words he said to me.

I felt like he's not the guy I used to know and I used to love. I never thought he would change.... But the look on his eyes that day, I just knew it, it didn't change how he looked at me.

Two things I will never forget. The way he looked at me for the first time and the last time.

I wanted to hate him for leaving me with bullsh*t reason. But he's my home and my safe place, how can I hate him? Instead of being angry at him, I tried to understand him, but I never knew why.

"How's your grades? Did you get it higher this time?" Grandma asked when I got home from school.

"It's fine." I plainly said.

"Make sure you won't let it fall again, Stella. The only reason why I allowed you to study psychology is because you said you will need it and you'll do well. I still don't understand why you need it instead of studying business. You're wasting your time." My Grandma shook her head.

"Why are you here in Japan anyway? You must be happy now, huh? Are you here to laugh at me?" I sarcastically said to her.

I don't know what's coming out of my mouth, I noticed that even my personality is changing. I never talked to grandma like this before, but I just can't stop it.

"What do you mean?" She asked and stood up from the couch.

I scoffed. "That he dumped me... Are you here to mock me? Grandma." A loud slap echoed all over the mansion. I didn't move and just looked down.

"How dare you disrespect me?! After all I did to you?! Is this how you pay me, Stella?!" She angrily said to me,

"I never asked for all of that, you did it yourself." I whispered and a slap again hit my face.

"Mother! What's happening?! Why are you slapping her?!" Dad came and hugged me protectively.

"You're losing yourself, Stella. Just because of that stupid break up!" She shouted and I went furious.

"You don't know what I feel! You don't know what it feels like!" I shouted back while crying.

She went silent and held her forehead. "I know... I know what it feels like.. because we're the same, Stella." She whispered.

"I already told you! We're different! I will never be like you!!" I shouted and ran towards my room.

I locked myself and Dad tried to talk to me but I just turned him down. The food is on my door but I don't wanna eat, I don't have an appetite. I feel guilty of what all I said to Grandma, I don't understand myself anymore.

So this is what it feels, huh? Losing all the important people to me, Baji, Emma, Izana, and now him. What's more, huh? This is what I felt when my mother left me in the orphanage.

They all leave me.

I heard a knock on my door and I covered myself on my blanket. "Go away, I don't want to talk to anyone!" I shouted.