Wanda Maximoff x Reader - One-shot Collection (PG)

The girlfriend shield

Summary: The Avengers complex is a place with pranks lurking around every corner. But you weren't afraid, after all, you have the most powerful Avenger as your girlfriend. But all good things are short-lived, and one day Wanda decides to turn against you.

Pronouns: she/her || Warnings: attempted humor

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For the world's mightiest heroes the Avengers are... well, juveniles.

There is an almost sacred competition to see who can make the most successful pranks and who falls for the fewest pranks. Everyone ends up participating, of course, but the main members of this competition are: Pietro, Peter, Yelena and, of course, you.

It's quite common for the four of you to team up to pull pranks on the rest of the team, but most of the time the pranks are just among the four of you. Sometimes you team up in pairs, especially when Peter and Pietro decide to use their abilities against you and Yelena, but in general it was every man for himself. Which, to your way of thinking, was a lot more fun.

The pranks that go on in the complex are very diverse: from simple ones to elaborate ones; from improvisations to ideas that have been planned for weeks; from harmless and funny ones to ones that lead to heated arguments. No one could escape the pranks. No one, with the exception of one person.

You'd like to think that it's because Wanda is your girlfriend and that you have some kind of authority over Yelena and the boys that makes them not pick on her. But the truth is that nobody picked on Wanda because they were afraid of her. And you knew this. So you used the information to your advantage.

"I'm going to kill you, (Y/n)!" You hear Yelena's angry voice, the Russian accent prominent due to irritation, and you smile immediately, knowing that your prank had worked.

Last week, the blonde decided to exchange the yogurt you drink every morning for pork fat, and laughed for days at the disgusted grimace you made when the nasty thing came in contact with your mouth.

It was a good prank, you had to admit. Still, it was one of the worst experiences of your life and could not go unpunished.

You were in the kitchen now, and although you tried not to laugh, the sight of Yelena entering the room, a hateful expression on her face and her hair covered in glitter, made it impossible not to.

"Come to brighten my day, Yelena?" The mocking comment was enough for irritation to take hold of the blonde, who starts running after you with furious strides.

Yelena may be stronger than you, but she's certainly not faster. So the two of you start running through the halls of the complex, Yelena growling every possible swear word and you laughing as you try not to knock over the few Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents you meet along the way.

"I can't believe you put glitter in my shampoo, you motherf..." Yelena yells angrily as she chases after you, but her speech is interrupted by Steve yelling "Language!" And you burst into laughter as the blonde grumbles angrily.

You keep running, but you know you won't be able to run forever. So, as if it were a divine sign, you rush into the common room of the complex and you see salvation.

Wanda chats peacefully with Clint, but then she feels hands grabbing and spinning her around, and the brunette's eyes widen in a mixture of surprise and confusion. "(Y/n), what ar-"

"Hey. Pal. I've got a Wanda and I'm not afraid to use her." You say to Yelena, interrupting Wanda's questioning and keeping your girlfriend between you and Yelena as a human shield.

You and Yelena begin to argue, one talking over the other, and Wanda watches the interaction in complete confusion. Clint approaches the brunette, as confused as she is by the situation, and whispers. "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know." Wanda replies, looking briefly at you, who is still holding her tightly, hiding behind her as Yelena yells at you nonstop.

"She's crazy. And just when you think you've reached the bottom of her craziness, there's a crazy underground garage." Wanda attests and Clint chuckles, shaking his head before walking away, leaving the witch to deal with the mess on her own.

The brunette then turns her gaze back to the two of you, and frowns as she sees Yelena's state, trying as hard as she can not to laugh at the comical scene. "Yelena, what happened to your hair?"

"Your girlfriend happened to my hair!" The blonde immediately retorts, her voice dripping with irritation. Before Wanda can ask any further, though, Yelena turns her attention back to you. "You can't keep using your girlfriend as a shield all the time, (Y/n)!"

"Of course I can! If you think it's bad, go get yourself a powerful witch girlfriend." You tease in a victorious tone. In response, Yelena raises her eyebrows defiantly. "Maybe I'll just steal your powerful witch girlfriend."

"What the fuck, Yelena?!" You immediately say in indignation and Wanda rolls her eyes, already fed up with this mess she has been put into against her will. "Can someone explain to me what's going on?!"

"That dipshit put glitter in my shampoo and now I look like a unicorn." Yelena explains and Wanda hears you giggle behind her. "I did and it's hilarious."

"(Y/n)!" Wanda scolds, releasing herself from her grip and turning to look at you. "You can't keep doing these things and expect me to defend you." Wanda says, crossing her arms, and you frown in confusion.

"So you're going to let me beat her up?" Yelena asks in a mixture of joy and excitement, and Wanda turns to her immediately. "No." The witch replies dangerously, her eyes glowing red for a brief moment, and Yelena raises her hands in surrender, taking a step to the side.

"But I will help you in the rematch." Wanda says, turning her gaze to you, and you widen your eyes in surprise. "What?" you ask, but Wanda just raises her eyebrows in defiance and you laugh through your nose. "Come on, Wanda, you don't do pranks."

"No," the witch replies, taking a step toward you.,"but I know you better than anyone else." She says darkly and you just stare at her, completely at a loss for words.

Faced with your speechless state, Wanda smiles victoriously before pecking your lips briefly. "See you later, my love." And with that Wanda walks away, and you choke on that betrayal.

"Uuu that's much better than hurting you." Yelena says with debauchery, and when you look at her, still astonished, the blonde waves goodbye. "Bye, sucker."

You watch Yelena join Wanda in shock, incredulous. And as you watch the two walking away you can only think of one thing. You are fucked.