Shorter Than Me

5 Levi

He lets go of my hand and reaches up with both arms, wanting me to pick him up. I glance at Genta but all she does is nod to me. I grab him under the arms and lift him until he can sit on my hip.

"Petr, this is your daddy," she says to him.

He looks back at her, then to me. I give him a small smile and he smiles back. "Hello, daddy." His voice is slurred somewhat, like a child's.

"Hello. How are you?"

"You're very high up." This makes me smile a little more.

I look at Genta. "Can I take him even higher?"

"Goodness, no! You'll drop him!"

"If I did, I could catch him."

"The answer is still no."

"But he is my child."

"I'm the one protecting him like a parent. You want to kill him on that death gear you have."

"Petr, do you want to fly through the trees?"

"I want to fly!" His little fist shakes in excitement.

"I won't let you."

"But he wants to," I say.

"How would you hold him? You need both of your hands."

"I'll loosen the straps on my chest and tighten them around him."

"But don't you need them to control it?"

"Not really. It's mostly the legs. He'll be completely safe."

She sighs heavily. "Alright. But only a few minutes."

"Thank you." I turn and take him outside. I go to the barn where the maneuver gear is waiting. I set him down and start putting the maneuver gear on. Once I finish, I loosen the straps on my chest and lift Petr up to sit against my chest. "This way," I hold him facing away from me, "or this way?" I turn him around to face me.

"The other way!" He seems really excited. I turn him back around and pull the straps tighter.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yes! I want to fly!"

"Be patient." The extra weight throws me off balance and it's hard to walk, but I won't be walking for very long. I walk out and make my way to the trees. Genta follows at a distance.

Petr is shaking in excitement.

"You have to stay still, alright?"

"Alright."

I flex my finger and the cable shoots out. I start to rise and Petr squeals in joy. I go slowly through the trees. He starts squirming and I stop. "Petr, you have to stay still."

"Alright." I can hear the smile in his voice.

I move around some more until I hear a voice from below. "Levi! That's enough! Come back down!"

I obey her and lower the two of us to the ground.

"You're going to get both of you killed."

"We were completely safe."

"Can we fly again?" Petr asks.

"No, sorry," I tell him.

"Please?"

"I said no."

"Please?" He says it with more insistence and I realize he's testing me. He wants to see how much effort it takes to get me to do what he wants.

"What did I just say?" I reply sternly.

"No." He gives up. I remove him from his place in front of me and hand him to Genta. He squirms around until she lets him stand on his own. I walk back to the barn and remove the gear. Then I go back to the house.

"Levi, can you keep him busy while I make dinner?"

"Sure. But I have a question."

"Yes?"

"Does he know about titans?"

"I haven't told him about them and I'd rather you not either. He's too young."

"Of course." I agree with her about him being too young and innocent. He's safe in these Walls; he doesn't need to know about the horrors of real life until much, much later.

"He's in there." She gestures to the door he was behind before. I open it and see a bunch of pieces of wood on the floor, along with Petr. He's stacking them in an aimless pattern until his tower tips over. Then he starts over. I kneel next to him and he shoves a pile of the blocks to me. I start randomly stacking them. He tries to stack one on top of the other, but it falls on top of mine, causing them both to clatter noisily to the floor in a wooden pile.

And he starts over. He seems to never get discouraged. He keeps stacking them until his tower falls and he does it again. I don't see the point, whatever goal he has in mind.

Is there a point? Is he aimlessly stacking them or is he trying to reach a certain height? And then the question is why.

He has to stand on his toes to put one on the top and then he hands me one. I put it on top and he holds yet another block to me. I set it on the top, but I know it will fall. I let go and he squeals with laughter when it topples. He starts stacking again.

And again.

And some more.

We keep pointlessly stacking blocks of wood until Genta opens the door and calls us for dinner.

Petr tells me all about himself throughout all of dinner and Genta and I can barely get a word in. Once dinner is over, Genta washes the dishes and asks me to put Petr to bed. She says he'll ask for a bedtime story. I know she's just trying to give the two of us a chance to get to know each other better. I understand since I'll be gone a lot of the time and can't be much of a father to him. He just happened, we didn't expect him.

"Can you tell me a story?" His little face peeks over the blanket along with his hands.

"What about?" I ask.

"A bird." He asks for something so simple. It's strange how his mind works.

"Once, there was a pretty pink bird. She flew around the trees, free. She could go anywhere she wanted. One day she met a boy bird-"

"What are their names?" He interrupts me.

"Pearl was the girl and Leen was the boy."

"Pearl was the girl." He plays with the rhyme.

"They fell in love and wanted to get married." I don't know what to do with this. I can't make a story up. I can't turn it into a true story where Pearl dies.

"Did they?" He prompts me to continue.

"Yes. They had a little baby boy named Pear."

"Pear? The green thing? I don't like pears."

"Pear learned to fly too. He flew away one day and they all lived happily."

But one day he returned to harsh reality to find his childhood nest was empty, his parents gone forever.

Petr smiles. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I start to stand from my kneeling position by his bed.

"Mam gives me a kiss before I sleep. It gives me good dreams." Mam is what he calls Genta. She didn't want to be called his mother, but she also didn't want to be called Genta.

"Alright." I awkwardly lean over and touch my lips to his forehead. It's extremely soft, like Petra's.

He closes his eyes and shifts to get comfortable.

I turn and walk out. Genta is waiting for me with two cups of tea. The sun has just set and a couple candles light the room.

I sit down across from her and take a sip of tea.