Shorter Than Me

20 Levi

The picture is from the internet and edited by me using the app Pixlr. It took way too long to get those eyes the right color.

I swear I've searched the whole forest at least three times. I'm zooming around, barely even focusing on the ground, just looking for that blue little boy.

My little boy.

I don't dare call out his name for fear of him responding and calling me "Daddy."

Why would he leave like that? Did he wander off, or was he looking for something?

This is impossible. He could be anywhere.

He could be dead.

Maybe he fell and got impaled or broke his neck. Maybe he died just like his mother and it's all my fault. She would never forgive me.

I would never forgive myself. He's all I have left of her. Loosing him would be the second worst thing that could ever happen to me. I don't know what I'd do.

I pause for a few seconds. Is there somewhere I haven't looked? Did I see him and overlook him?

I can just see his little face, tear-streaked, crying for his Daddy.

For me.

I start racing through the trees again, searching, searching.

He's not dead. He's not dead. He's not dead.

My head whips around frantically. He has to be somewhere.

He's not dead. He's not dead. He's not dead.

He has to be somewhere.

Time passes, the day goes on. How long have I been out here? How long has Petr been out here?

Something blue catches my eye.

I let myself fall twenty feet and catch myself for the last five. Then I run to the body laying on the ground.

"Petr!" I'm surprised at the fear in my voice. I reach out to him, fearing that my hand will touch a cold, lifeless-

He moves. He's breathing.

I fall to my knees and pull him up. He wakes up and his eyes focus on my face. "Daddy?" His eyes look scared.

I pull him closer to me and hug him tightly. He hugs me back.

"Daddy, I was lost... I was looking for you..." I can hear him crying. I push him out of the hug gently.

"Why would you do that?"

"I wanted to stay with you. I want to stay with you forever ever." He clutches a piece of paper to his chest.

It's the picture I drew of Petra.

I realize how stupid little children are. He just followed me on foot into a forest he'd definitely been warned about. But as I marvel at his stupidity, I realize something else. While I was searching for Petr, I realized I couldn't bear to loose him. I love him.

"I want to be with you too, but I have a job. It's a dangerous job and I don't want to have to worry about you."

"But..."

"Don't go off on your own again. It's dangerous. No one wants you getting hurt."

"Yes, Daddy." He leans forward to hug me again and I hug him back.

"Now let's go to Genta." I start to stand, noticing the slightly damp stains on my knees. I find myself not caring as much.

"Who's Genta?"

I guess he doesn't know her by that name. "Mam. We're going to Mam."

"Oh."

I glance around. The sun is straight up in the sky, so I can't find the way back through that.

Now I'm lost.

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