Shorter Than Me

29 Ecyn

For the next month, I practice with my squad. I ask Ackerman a lot of questions, and he is surprisingly willing to answer them. It's not hard to refrain from asking him about anything I saw on the papers in his room, but my curiosity makes me think about it a lot. The more I think about it, the more ridiculous my thoughts get. What started off as Petra and Ackerman being lovers resulted in the possibility of them being related, or him being her father, or the Commander being her father and Ackerman being her uncle. If she wrote the word love on the letter, she must have known him for a long time, so maybe they came from the Underground together.

Then I force myself to drag my mind away from those thoughts. I don't want to become obsessed.

It's just that the more I talk to him and ask him questions the more I get to know him, if only by a minuscule amount. I have a sense I'm barely scratching the surface to the mystery of Levi Ackerman. For some reason, it intrigues me. I don't know why I want to know more, but I do.

After about a week or two of asking Ackerman questions, I realize he's the only one I ask for advice. I just trust him to give the best advice. Maybe it's because he was the one who trained me and made me like I am today, a captain.

Then I wonder why I don't want to ask anyone else. I go to one of the other captains that has been in the Scouting Legion for a long time. I ask him about learning to trust my squad members and teaching them to make the decisions I want them to, but he misunderstands my question at first and then goes on a pretty extensive lecture of things I already know. I try to be as polite as possible, but I still waste about twenty minutes. I find Ackerman after that. He gives me a straightforward answer which answers the question more efficiently than the other Scout I asked.

I don't want to seem like a nuisance, because if he gets annoyed with me he can just refuse to give me the advice I need. Then I will have to figure it out on my own and risk lives in the process. I do try to be more cautious and laid back while approaching him though, especially when I realize I'm thinking of him differently. He's no longer the one with unattainable skill who is so far above everyone else. He becomes more of an equal to me as well as a teacher. He even treates me like an equal, rather than an ignorant piece of dirt wearing a uniform and maneuver gear. It's hard to imagine he's the same person who held me upside down by my boots and yelled at me for making the smallest mistake.

It's like now he actually has some respect for me. I don't notice the same for anyone else in the Scouting Legion except the Commander and it makes me feel... special.

I'm sorry if this is cheesy. I'm just writing flowily (because that's a word...).

It probably has a large amount to do with how short I am. I'm at least three inches shorter than him. I'm shorter than everyone, even my brother. But that's what everyone keeps telling me--that the only reason Ackerman tolerates me is because I'm shorter than him. That can't be the only reason he would tolerate someone, because it would mean he feels intimidated by those taller than him. He's anything but intimidated, unless that's the deep secret of Ackerman. He radiates a dominating persona because he feels intimidated by everyone taller than him, or he just doesn't like people and his height adds to his character. The latter is probably true, because his skill also gives him the dominating persona and adds to his character.

For whatever reason, he talks to me more than probably anyone else. He probably even speaks more words to me than he does the rest of the day. It's a weird feeling, but a somewhat thrilling one, that gives me the sense of uniqueness. I'm not just anyone to him, I'm more than that.

He's definitely not rude to me anymore. When he sees me approaching him, he doesn't walk quickly away, but instead slows a little. Maybe I'm seeing a nice side of him, but he still acts the same to everyone else.