chronicles of lovers.

꒰ cruel existence ꒱ - tzuyu

꒰𖧧꒱ 𓂃 "i just wanna keep calling your name 'till you come back home."
꒰𖧧꒱ 𓂃 cruel existence⸝⸝ chou tzuyu
꒰𖧧꒱ 𓂃 "i don't wanna live forever" ⸝⸝ by zayn malik ft. taylor swift.
꒰𖧧꒱ 𓂃 trigger warning: mention of domestic abuse, harassment, name-calling, and gory mentions of self-harm. reader's discretion is advised.

ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ. ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ. ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ.ㆍ. ㆍ

"Babe, I'm gonna hop in the ladies' room to wash my hands before we leave. I'll be back in a second," I told my girlfriend Tzuyu as we had just finished our lovely dinner.

"Oh, of course. Do you want any desert before I ask the waiter?" Tzuyu smiled brightly. She was really happy.

I thought for a second. "No, I'm fine. Unless you're having some, I wouldn't mind taking a bite," I answered.

"Nope, I'm fine. Wash up, and I'll wait here," she answered. Tzuyu's cheeks were glowing.

"Alright," I smiled back, getting up from the table and lifting my cloth napkin from my lap.

It was our five month anniversary, and we were both very happy about that. I was more than sure that Chou Tzuyu was the person I was destined to be with for the rest of my life. There was something about her that drove me insane. From all my past lovers, flings, crushes, and serious relationships, I had never met someone that made my heart beat faster and my legs tremble in such a way as Tzuyu. How she held me, hugged me, and kissed me made me melt in less than a second. I have never been so in love before. So many things about me changed for  the good, and my painful past had been deleted and started anew.

I got to the bathroom and scooted closer to the big mirror, supporting myself from the sink to fix a little mascara that had smudged on my eyelid. After cleaning the small stain on my eyelid, I rolled up my tulle sleeves and put a decent amount of soap to lather my hands and wash them. The warm water washing away all the soap as I lathered it on my hands was enough to relax me. Well, we were in the Yu Yuan Cantonese Restaurant in the Four Seasons, so having a nice temperature and an expensive soap to wash your hands was expected. Just kidding.

I rinsed the excess soap from my hands with the warm water and shook them 'till they were dry. I looked down to my hands for a second, and I had forgotten that those were still on my wrists. Those slits were still on my wrists, although they were healing and fading away quite well. Even so, they were still visible, and I didn't like that. Automatically, a compulsive thought came to my head. I suddenly felt dizzy, and I was immediately transported to before I met Tzuyu. Just me in the kitchen counter cutting meat for my lunch and then sliding the Santoku knife on my left wrist slowly. All I heard were my winces as I saw the blood puddle on the marble counter in my apartment. I tried ending all that suffering at once, but something stopped me. This "something" was beyond any expensive diamond in my life; it was Tzuyu. I remembered when I met Tzuyu on the same day I tried slitting my wrists open.

— FLASHBACK —

That same day, I was shopping for my mom's birthday gift. My mother is a huge fan of Christian Dior, and so am I. I remember I got her an embroidered scarf with her initials. As I was walking around the Dior store, I stumbled upon a brown-haired Chinese woman, with the prettiest smile and eyes I had ever seen. She was indecisive between two purses. To be honest, Tzuyu has an innate talent of contrasting textiles, so I still don't know why it was so hard for her to choose between a monotonous, pink leather purse and a dark gray purse for cashmere. The correct answer was the dark gray purse, by the way. I saw her struggling, and I wanted to help her.