18. Spend Some Time

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Marshall's P.O.V.

I used to say I never met a girl like you before
Still ain't got a fuckin' clue as to who you truly are
Almost went as far as introducing you to my daughters
'Til you went as far as goin' and snoopin' through my drawers
Now I just feel stupid for the loop that you threw me for
Can't believe I almost flew the coop for some stupid whore
You used to say all you wanted was for me to be yours
All I ever wanted from you was a few booty calls
If you recall I used to treat you like a groupie broad
When we fucked I refused to even take my jewelry off
But it threw me off the first time I called and you blew me off
It was a shock, it struck me as odd but it turned me on
You started gettin' moody on me pretty soon we'd argue
And the ruder you got, the more beautiful you got to me
And who'd even knew that, who would of even thought possibly
Cupid could shoot another one of them goddamn darts at me
It's true that I got shot in the heart
But when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are
But see, when you're in it, it's to hard to see
'Til you pull up and see some other dudes car parked
And reach up under your seat as your heart starts to beat
Before you make a decision that's life altering
And just as you halt and you turn and you start to leave
You hear them words echoing, almost haunting
That taunting ring

These are just lyrics for a song I've been fucking around with ever since I ended-up sending Melody home. I don't think Imma ever release the shit, this is some soft ass shit that don't belong on my upcoming album, but it's just my way of dealing with things, I guess.

I can't lie, this was probably the first time I was angry enough about a female, other than Kim, to write a whole song about her. Fuck me, but I was starting to kind of trust her, then she gonna go and be just like any other slut out there?!

Not only that, but she was dumb enough to go home with some guy that ended-up putting his hands on her and fucking her up like that. Why does this girl keep messing-up like this, being so fucking naive and shit?!

She probably doesn't realize this, but I did mean it that day when I told her I was gonna kill that motherfucker that did that to her face. That's how I felt at the moment. If I would've caught him outside on the street, I would've killed him. And that was honestly part of the reason for why Melody had to go. It really freaked me the fuck out that I was out there about to make a straight-up life altering decision over some dumb little groupie bitch. The fact that she affected me enough to be ready to go to fucking war for her. And then what? Get locked up, put my career on the line, my daughter, my family? Fuck that, that girl was starting to get to me way too much, so yeah, I had to get rid of her.

And I can't lie, I've been feeling kind of empty ever since.

I hate to admit it, but I do miss her sometimes. Whenever I have enough time to actually sit down and be alone with my thoughts, she's on my mind right away. She also pops into my head randomly at times.

Luckily, I ain't got a whole lot of time to be left alone with my thoughts. I am about to go on tour again for The Marshall Mathers LP, I have all this promotional shit to do for the new album, interviews, music videos, photoshoots, a whole lot of hectic shit, plus, I'm currently back living at home with Kim, we fight all the time, like cats and dogs, while trying to balance it all out and spend enough time with my daughter, before I have to go away again.

So, I hardly ever have time to actually think about Melody, but it's like she's always at the back of my mind, in my subconscious or something, even when I'm not actually actively thinking about her.

Then, one day, Kim walks into the house, looking absolutely disgusted with something. I honestly could give a fuck less what gets Kim riled-up these days, so at first, I ain't even paying attention to her.

"You little girlfriend is getting famous," she suddenly says to me through gritted teeth.

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" I ask, annoyed. As usual, I ain't in the mood to deal with Kim's shit.

Kim doesn't respond. She just drops some mag she was reading before on the table, tosses it like it's a piece of dirt, or like it would bite her or some shit, and then walks away.

Now, I can't lie, my paranoia kicks in immediately, and I'm starting having all these thoughts that Melody probably sold me out. That she went and spilled the details about me and her to some gossip column, and that's what Kim was referring to.

A wave of anger surges through me, as I immediately think about all kinds of ways I would fuck this girl up, if she really put my business out there like that.

Also, Paul would hit her with all types of lawsuits, so she ain't slick.

Then, I open the magazine and flip through it, and it's just some dumb girly fashion mag, and at first, I don't even know what the fuck Kim was even talking about. But just as I'm about to toss the shit, I see Melody's picture on one of the pages.

I am kind of proud of her, though, she always did wanna model, and it looks like that's finally coming through for her.

And then at the same time, I also can't help but feel a certain way about the fact that so many eyes would be on her now. So many male eyes.

I snatch my cell phone out of my pocket and debate calling her. You know, just calling to congratulate her and shit, that would be a good enough excuse to talk to her, I guess.

But my pride wouldn't let me.

Fuck that girl.

I flip through the pages of the magazine some more, telling myself that I'm only looking at it to make sure that there ain't no inside scoop from Melody about me in there, but deep down I know that I just wanna see if there are more photos of her in there. There ain't any.

Oh well...

I finally toss it.

Paul called me the other day and said MTV wants me to do something called Spring Break in Cancun. Want me to be one of the artists performing. It sounds kind of bizarre, to be honest. but I'm all for it. They want me to rap while some swimwear models walk around on stage. Can't lie, it does sound like fun.

So this was basically just another filler chapter, like the previous one, but more so to show how Marshall has been dealing with their fallout. Sorry if not a whole lot happened in this chapter












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