Spend Some Time (Eminem Fanfic)

57. Bad Guy

Marshall's P.O.V.

I finally managed to finish recording my new album Encore and I'm currently on tour to promote it.

I have been on tour for like a month now, and I haven't seen Melody and the kids since.

It's probably for the best that I haven't seen her, even though I really miss her, because I ain't been nothing but a piece of shit to her the last few months.

And I know that I am, but I don't know how to stop myself.

A part of me, the unselfish part, wishes that she would've left me that day. But apparently, she just loves me too much. And I love her too, but somehow, that can't stop me from continuing to hurt her.

Lyric and Whitney are getting so big now, and it kills me that I have to be away from them and miss them growing, just like I had missed out on Hailie and Alaina in the past, and I hate myself for it, cause that's exactly how I promised myself things wouldn't be, yet they are.

I'm so messed-up on pills most of the time though, that I hardly even have the time to ever regret anything, because half the time, I can't even remember anything.

I do interviews during tour for MTV and other networks, and hardly can even recall what I've said in them.

Apparently, on this one interview I had hinted that I was gonna retire from rapping soon, and I don't even know man, maybe it was my subconscious coming to the surface and saying what I was really wishing for deep down inside.

But it's not like I could ever do that though. Rapping is in my blood, plus I've already sold my soul to this demon.

Today's performance that I'm doing in LA, I feel especially messed-up when I'm on stage, and it's hard for me to even concentrate on what I'm doing.

Somehow I manage to get through it though.

Well almost.

Because at the very last song of the show, I all of a sudden freeze on stage, realizing that I can't remember the words.

I can't remember the words to my own goddamn song that I've done many times over before.

Fuck me, I don't understand how something like that could ever happen to me, I haven't choked on stage since my underground days.

Luckily, Proof picks up on the fact that something is wrong with me and he picks up the slack for me.

He ends up rapping the rest of the song for me, and as he does, some of the words do come back to me, but not all of it.

So I end-up just moving around on stage, following Proof's lead and letting him finish the song for me, as I just butt in with whichever words I do manage to remember. Now it's like we've switched roles and Proof is the performer, and I'm his hype man.

Luckily, it is the last song of the show, and the fans, even if they notice the change, don't seem to mind much.

Once it's all over, and Proof and I run backstage, Proof turns to me immediately and frowns at me.

"What the fuck was that, Slim?" He asks, and I just shrug, wanting to hide my embarrassment.

"I don't even know, dawg. I'm just ain't right in the head today. I'm not feeling too good."

"Yeah, I bet you don't," Proof replies, and I can tell he's pissed because he's concerned for me. "Listen man, enough is enough. You gotta go to fucking rehab."

"What the actual fuck?!" I exclaim. He's starting to sound just like Melody now!

"You need to go to rehab, dawg. Your girl is right," Proof repeats, and him mentioning Mel pisses me off.