Spend Some Time (Eminem Fanfic)

65. Senseless

Marshall's P.O.V.

There are now like two weeks left until Mel moves to New York with Lyric.

She's put her house here in Detroit up for sale, and she apparently already has a place in New York.

I try not to get pissed about this, but sometimes I am.

There are days when I swear to fuck, I just wanna tear her apart for doing this, but I know I ain't got no room to say shit to her about it. I remind myself every day about what I said to her when she broke the news to me about her leaving. I've meant everything I've said to her that day too, but it's still fucking hard for me. But I get it, she just wants to be happy.

Some asshole once said if you love something let it go. Or some other dumb shit like that. Honestly, I wonder if the motherfucker that said that had ever loved anything in his life, but fuck it, let me follow that advice.

You know, I sat for a few days and I thought of all kinds of ways I could try to stop Mel from moving, but I don't think Imma do any of that, it would just make her despise me more. The thing is, I don't want Mel to hate me anymore than she already does, it's fucking killing me that she hates me now.

Fuck me, but the only thing left for me right now is to throw myself into work like I always do.

Might as well, considering that my last album has received some criticism from both critics and the fans, and I can honestly see why. I was fucking high out of my mind back when I've done some of the songs on it, but I honestly still don't think it was all that bad. It just was maybe a little inconsistent? Then again, inconsistent is pretty damn bad. Especially for me.

So I was gonna follow it up with something else real quick, but then it suddenly hit me that I wanna just take a break and focus on producing music for other artists for the next couple years or so, so Proof and I have been looking into that a lot lately.

Obie and 50 are both doing real good, and now I want to maybe find a new artist to sign to my label.

In the meantime, I could also do some features on other people's shit, but I don't know when imma record something of my own, as I am feeling kind of burned out lately. Don't really know what it is, but I guess I do need a break. I've said that before, and now I'm even more sure of it. Not saying I'm retiring but I just... I don't know man.

Proof, Denaun, Bizarre, Kuniva and Swifty are all here with me tonight in my studio in the basement, helping out like they always do.

We work and we goof around, and it's just like being on stage with them.

Especially Proof. Proof truly is my fucking crutch at times.

"So what you think?" I ask him.

"I think go with this beat, doody," Proof replies. "And let this nigga right here rap over it," he picks out a demo tape.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too."

"We should put Fifty on this compilation CD too," Proof suggests.

"Yeah, for sure."

"What about Dre? What he say about all this?"

"He says it's dope."

We continue to work on the music, when Alaina suddenly walks in, dragging Lyric behind her by her hand.

Mel has finally trusted me enough, for the first time in months, to keep Lyric for the weekend, as long as I don't get high around her. She's gonna be picking her up in a few hours though.

"What is it, baby girl?" I ask Alaina curiously. I coulda swore the little ones were all taking a nap right now while Alaina watched them, which was why I was in the basement working on music. If I knew Lyric was up, I would rather spend time with her, especially since her mother is about to come pick her up soon enough.