A Comfortable Silence (Jayxreader)

new name's

I laid over the couch, my right leg over the backrest and my left on the floor while I flipped through the TV channels.

I feel awful right now, almost gross. This place, the stuff, I'm sitting in a place worth millions, maybe more, as if it's a cheap shitty apartment.

I liked sleeping in a box better, felt like I was actually worth that, but this, this is as much as the US will give for my capture.

I turn off the TV too stare at the black screen, it seems much more interesting than any drama on TV anyway.

A faint click, walking, doors opening and shutting, car horns, sirens, taking, gossip, the window must be open, I hear it all, the useless talk of their events for tomorrow.

*Thwack*

I moved my head to look at my attacker, Bella scowled down at me and flicked my forehead.

"I've been calling your name for 15 minutes" she leaned her hip out

"What?"

"What does K.D.B.G stand for?"

"Well no one was creative enough for a group name so we're just, K's full name with group at the end"

"That's a shitty name, what do we do? Huh"

"Kill bad people and get paid for it"

"Well yeah, but we should get a cool name for it"

"Then make one. At the time it made sense, we belong to K and we're a group, K.B.D.G."

"We don't belong to him, don't sell yourself like that"

"Maybe you don't, no matter what I'm his fighter, till I die"

She rolled her eyes and grimaced, showing me her standing on where her loyalty stood, barely even crouching.

I waved her off but she still stood over me, a small fuse sparking in her ruby eyes.

"Don't judge me, K didn't do us any favors"

"He saved us, he saved me from dying on the street when I was bloody, starving even and he saved you from being murdered by gangs and being sent to an orphanage!"

"He did a common curiosity of helping others in need, children in need and he turned them into monsters, killing machines!"

"He gave us a choice! One to leave and one to stay, we made ours, so don't think your own decisions didn't get you here!"

Her eyes were glossed over, red spreading from the corners of them, her upper lip bit down a little on the lower one, "he didn't say that we'd have to kill people... when he asked if we wanted to stay. That's not a thing humans are supposed to do, not something that should be normal, not like it is for us"

I silently scanned her face, I could see the look, one of fear, one of someone that wants to escape, run, run far away and forget, ".....my loyalty stays with K, his son and our family, I only think of very few of our people as family, but I couldn't leave them if I wanted to, maybe I'm insane, after all an insane person never knows their insane"

I felt worse, I could feel my face settling into discomfort, this is all I know, the only emotion I know are ones I've seen in books, I'm out of touch here, all I know, I know.

I only know this. contract, kill, money. Locate, kill, leave. Murder...display, leave. Torture, Torture....

Pain, scars, regret, fear, mistrust, distance, shower, shower, dirty, fear, not safe, nothing.

"It's....all I understand...I know...all I know"

She gazed over my face, I don't know what she saw but I know what I saw, disappointment, sadness.  "can we be normal, for a day?"