This one is for you

CHAPTER 21

Meredith POV.

"Where do you wanna go?" Derek asked me.

"I don't know, where do you usually go?"

"Let's try french today, what about Le Bernardin's? Or do you wanna go to Jean-Georges?"

"Derek, you probably can't get a seat there now, besides, you don't need to always take me to expensive restaurants."

"Actually, I'm not really that hungry anymore. Do you want to just go to a cafe or something?"

"Sure, let's go to Balthazar."

We went to Balthazar, which turned out to be still those high-end restuarants. But I was too tired to argue. Derek seemed excited, so I just went along with him.

"Do you always go to places like this to eat?"I asked him during our taxi ride to the restaurant.

"Yeah...A side effect for living on Fifth Avenue, with too much money." He said, playing with my hair as he held me.

"No seriously...I mean, don't you get bored of all those expensive, shiny, glamorous whatevers?" I asked lazily, playing with his shirt collar. He smells nice, it's making me sleepy.

"I did...how did you think I find you?"

"Well, if you don't like the high-class stuff, why are you still taking me there then?"

"I want to impress you, first of all. And I want to spoil you. And because, well because I can."

"You're so full of yourself today." I said, giggling. Exactly how big can his ego get?

"You're so quiet today." He replied quietly.

"Huh?" Where did that come from?

"Ever since we left the Ferrari store, you've been quiet. What's the matter?"

"Oh, it's nothing." It's not nothing, I...I'm just not ready to tell you yet.

"Trust me. I will make sure I will drive safely after I get my arm fixed. You don't need to worry about that." He said, reassuring me .

"Are we here?" I asked.

"Yeah." Derek led me out and into the restaurant. And surprisingly, he got two seats for us just like that.

"Did you reserve already?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Yeah...I guess. I thought you'll like this one." He said as he sat down beside me on the sofa.

"So you think you know me well, huh?" I asked, teasing him.

"I learn what I can get." He said as he browsed the menu.

"Have you been here before?" He asked me, mindlessly.

"Nope. Why?"

"You look like you did." He said, now watching me.

"It...it just reminded me of somewhere I went before, in Paris." I said quietly, eyeing the interior of the restaurant, which was similar to the French bistros that can be spotted throughout Paris.

"You were in Paris? Why did you go to Paris?" He asked, curiously. Just then, the waiter came and Derek gave him the orders. After he was gone, Derek asked again.

"When I graduated from Columbia, before I went into medical school. I went to Paris, to celebrate." I explained, hoping that will satisfy him.

"Oh, and?" He asked, unrelenting. He was looking at me again like he was studying a piece of artwork. His eyes were dreaming, which always make me do anything he wants.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, sort of giving him a chance to back out.

"Yes...is this what you called "Columbia" Columbia the other day?" He asked.

"Mmmhmmm...do you still want to know?" I asked again. Now, my eyes felt hot, and I can feel the tears coming up. Damnit! It's been four years! Why do I always have to be like this?

"Hey, hey...it's okay. No need to cry." He said, soothing me as he held me in his arms again. It's good that we picked the table with the sofa.

"Can I tell you later...if you still want to know?" I asked quietly, looking up at him.

"Of course...Mere, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was something that horrible." He said honestly as he held me tighter. I felt safe in his arms, so strong and warm. I feel like I can just hide there forever, and everything will be okay.

We had a quick lunch at Balthazar while we talked about his music and the pranks he and Mark pulled when they were young. Apparently those two had grew up together, it was the only reason why Derek let Mark yell at him all the time for procrastinating.

When we got back, I made some coffee as Derek waited in the living room. I've decided that if I was going to talk to him about my Columbia, he might as well know everything. It might make me feel better as well, who knows? Maybe Derek is the one that can get me out of the hole I digged myself in.

"Here, sit here." He said as he patted his lap. I put the coffee down and settled down in his lap, which was always warm and comforting.

"Whenever you're ready, Mere." He whispered.