This one is for you

CHAPTER 22

Meredith's POV.

I snuggled further into his chest as he wrapped his arm tighter around me.

"When I went to Paris, I went with Finn, my boyfriend. It was the summer before I went into medical school, and Finn has just graduated from medical school. So we thought it would be nice to take a trip before we're too busy, him with his residency program, and me with my school. So we went to Paris, and I was pregnant; I was gonna tell him sometimes during the trip. And the funny thing was that he proposed! I was so excited, I said yes and I told him about the baby. He was so happy, he always wanted to be a father, and we...everything was perfect. But, on the night before we were suppose to leave, we went to a party, and I drove since I didn't drink, and he had way too many. Anyway, I was driving, and out of nowhere, another car was going head first into mine. I was tired, and I couldn't see where I was going. So I crashed...Finn died on the spot, and my baby died too...." I took a deep breath, then I started again before I go full-blown brawling. "I came back from Paris, and I quit Columbia. I became a bartender, at the bar where you met me, and I did somethings I seriously regret, I drank, I slept around...it continued for awhile...when you met me, I had just stopped..."

"Oh Mere...I'm so, so sorry." Derek said, his voice filled with pain, as he hugged me tighter.

"Now you know."

"I'm sorry...I pushed you into this."

"Anyway...that's why I keep on pushing you away...I'm scared." I said as I nuzzled his neck.

"I know...I would be scared too if I were you...I think I probably would've shut myself off completely." He whispered as he kissed my forehead.

"Derek..."

"Yes?"

"Don't die." I whispered. I can't take it if you die, even though I barely know you. But I can't take it if someone I loved died.

"I'll try my best."

I stretched myself on the sofa, but Derek wouldn't let me go. "Mere..."

"Yeah?" I said, suddenly feeling tired and relief, that I was able to finally let out this secret to him.

"I will never hurt you on purpose, Mere. I'll make sure that you will always be protected. I know all this sounds cheesy, but I promise."

"Okay."

"Okay." He kissed me softly on the lips and his stretched his body beside mine.