This one is for you

CHAPTER 39

Meredith's POV.

Derek sent us back to our apartment. He didn't leave until he made sure that we all went in safely. I could sense that he wanted to come in too, but he didn't, which I'm glad for, but at the same time, I'm a bit depressed as well.

As soon as we went through the door, we went into our separate rooms and just, crashed. I fell asleep instantly, mostly due to the booze, but I know it's because I feel sort of, restored, or am about to be restored. And as usual, when we woke up the next day, which was like around noon, it was hell. The headache induced by tequila was apparently the same as the ones induced by vodka, or a mix of the two.

I crawled, on my hands and knees, to the kitchen for the aspirin. Thankfully, Christina hadn't gobbled up all of them yet. I got myself onto the bar stool and curled up as I took my painkiller and waited for someone to start the coffee.

Through my mushed up brain, I began to recall what happened last night. Tequila, tequila, tequila, concert, Derek, kiss....oh great. No wonder I'm so messed up now. Till now, I still don't know what possessed me to run up to him and kiss him like that. I can explain the slap and the punches, but not the kiss. Actually, I think I know why I kissed him, but admitting it would mean that I've lost the battle. Admitting it would mean that I gave in to his song, his apologies, to his everything. I don't know if I should give in yet. I don't know if he even want me to give in. I don't even know if he had moved on yet. What if everything was just an act for the show? And I was too stupid and drunk, and I believed him? What if this was all just a joke to him? Did I just made a fool of myself again? Well, that's just typical me. A magnet for disasters.

Buzzzzz...Buzzzzz..............

My cell phone was vibrating on the counter. I didn't bother to look as I picked it up.

"Hellllooo..." I moaned painfully into the speaker.

"Mere? Are you ok?" His concerned voice filled my ear.

"Y..yeah..."

"Is it okay if I come over? I...I want to talk to you...about last night." He said in an unsured voice.

"No! No...you don't have to...it..it was a mistake....I'm sorry. I made a fool of myself. Again." I apologized guilty into the phone.

"Mere! Mere..." He said with a painful sigh. "It was not a mistake. It was never a mistake. I love you, Mere. Can...can I come over? We'll talk?" He asked again.

"okay then." I whispered, not knowing what did I just signed myself up to.

Less than five minutes later, he rang the doorbell, too loudly, for Christina was cursing all the God's in existence from her room. I opened the door carefully and saw him standing there in a large black coat and jeans.

"Hey." He breathed out, his eyes shining.

"Hey...come in." I said, stepping aside for him to pass. I could feel the cold air on him as he passed me.

He surveyed the place quickly and turned back to me. He smiled at me warmly.

"Was there a lot of tequila last night?" He asked with a knowing look.

"A bottle...I think." I gave up, blushingly.

"No wonder." He took his coat off and revealed a beige dress shirt that I liked to wear when I...when I still lived with him.

"Here...have a seat." I said as I led him to the kitchen. I curled up in my bar stool again.

"I'm sorry...we don't really have anything to drink other than alcohol."