This one is for you

CHAPTER 37

3 weeks earlier...

Derek's POV.

I'm walking down the streets with Mark, well actually, he's half dragging me down the street. He came in my apartment at 6 in the morning, before I can even decide to drink scotch for breakfast and just be drown in my pain for the rest of the day. We were supposed to meet with some guy for a Christmas concert. And he was making sure I went to the meeting with him.

We walked into a tall building and rode the elevator up. We entered the office and the receptionist directed us into their boss's office. The boss was a guy and he walked up to greet us. We went over the details for the concert, and it was agreed that I would be presented as a "special surprise feature" or something at the concert. And I was going to perform the new song I've just composed in the last few month. It was a sad, almost funeral-like song. Mark believed it's going to be a hit and made me perform it, regardless of the fact that depressing songs didn't mix too well with Christmas.

We walked out of the meeting, Mark happy with the gig and the money, and me still groggy and depressed. The fact that it was freezing outside didn't help much either.

"Cheer up Derek. This could be good for you." He said.

"What part of freezing my ass in an outdoor concert, singing about the death of my life can be good for me?"' I asked, glaring back at him.

"You wrote it about Meredith?" He asked pointly, almost too blunt.

"Shh...Mark!" I winced in pain. I couldn't stand it when someone else said her name, I can't stand being close to her name, though her name has been the only thing in my mind since our break up.

"I thought you got over it when you told me to stop the visits!" Mark said.

"I never got over her. I can't get over her...I'm just letting her go, since it's what she wants. And I want her to be happy...I wrote the song about her, and I dedicated it to her." I said sadly, feeling a strong desire for a bottle of scotch.

"Oh man...this is harder than I thought." Mark mused quietly.

"What's harder?"

"You moving on." He replied, staring straight forward.

"People don't move on from something like this."

"So are you just gonna sulk and mope and hopefully OD with alcohol while you two are both along and you hope that she's happy with it?" Mark asked.

"...I guess."

"And I thought I was stupid."

"Well, what the hell am I suppose to do? I screwed up! I screwed up so bad I can't even believe I did it! She's disgusted with me! She won't talk to me! I want her back, but she doesn't want anything to do with me! So yeah! I'm just gonna let her move on so that I won't hurt her anymore...she deserves better."

"Okay, after we're through with this concert, I'm gonna lock you up with a shrink...cuz I need you to make me some happy songs, not just this sad crap." Mark said in a commanding tone.

"I don't need a shrink...and I don't need to work...I'm rich enough to buy enough sctoch to drink myself to death!" I spat out as I got back into my apartment building.

"We are definitely gonna lock you up with a shrink! You are not gonna die!" Mark yelled from the street.

"Watch me!"