End of an Era (Book 7)

How Did We Get Here

|Logan's POV|

After practice I had a couple of hours before I had to get ready for my interview. I decided to just drive up to the hills, take in the view, and meditate.

If you would've told me a year ago that I could've almost lost my mom, I'd call you a liar.

If you would've told me a year ago that Erica would be back in my life, I'd call you a liar.

If you would've told me a year ago that I'd be a father to the most beautiful 3 year old I've ever seen, I'd call you a liar.

If you would've told me a year ago that I would go into therapy and process my feelings, I'd say you're lying, too.

If you would've told me a year ago that I would open my heart up to Erica again, I'd tell you you're dead wrong.

Yet, here I am, giving this a fair shot. I have Erica a generic ass answer to when I forgave her. Having her move to Cali wasn't anything big, but it was a fresh start for us and our new dynamic. I have teammates who have kids that don't see them on the regular. They're either not with the mother of their children, or the kids are elsewhere for stability whether it be through a trade or personal decision.

I know Erica felt guilty and I'm not saying she shouldn't have. While she took time to heal herself, she had to let the guilt go. I'm not one to guilt trip anyone. After a while, it becomes manipulative. She's never played the victim with me, which many would expect. Erica has been down to do whatever would benefit Lauren. To me, that's what mattered.

So, her moving to Cali helped us both in so many ways. We wanted Lauren to know that families are different. Erica and I loved each other, sure, but who we loved most was Lauren and we did whatever we needed for her to feel that. Have there been tough moments? Absolutely.

It was important for both of us to take our mental health seriously. People just thought I had it all together, but I had my own struggles. Fame can kill someone and as I've gotten older, the more tabloids involve themselves. I made the choice to only divulge what I want the public to know and keep the rest of my life as private as possible.

Personally, therapy has worked for us individually and as co-parents. I started therapy right after my sister's graduation party in May after a couple months, Erica and I had begun co-parent counseling. My therapist recommended it as I had a lot of anger and animosity towards Erica, but I never addressed it.

That was the turning point for me. I was able to lay out how I felt and truly start to heal from feeling betrayed by her. While I was working on processing it on my own, she said Erica needed to know how I felt as well and we needed to always be a united front for Lauren.

The first sessions were tough. We went from talking about how we met, to our fallout, her getting pregnant and hiding Lauren, her recovery and why she never told me. I had every right to be angry with her. I had every right to hate her. She hid a whole fucking kid from me. Still, hatred towards the mother of my child wouldn't be beneficial to me and definitely not to Lauren.

Our co-parenting sessions were reserved for my days off so that I'd be able to attend in person. That was another thing that was recommended, in-person sessions, if possible. I scheduled my personal therapy sessions later in the week.

One session we had was the toughest of all. It was during my bye week so Lauren was staying with me. Erica seemed off. The topic of conversation was Caleb. Anytime his name was brought up, Erica froze. I didn't know the extent of what happened and the purpose of the session was to have some clarity and move on from it. Erica shut down and we ended early that day.

|Flashback|

4 months prior - October

I was on a bye week. While practice was more chill this week, rehabilitation was always key. My body needed to recover. Lots of massages, etc. I was able to squeeze in an extra therapy session. Processing my feelings not just with Erica, but being a new dad. It's been 3 months now and I'm starting to see things clearer.