Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Empty

Lauren stared at the hospital room's ceiling for what seemed like days but in fact was only a matter of 2 hours

"Hey Lauren.." Lauren turned her head at the sound of the voice

"Hi Mani." Lauren sat up to greet her best friend

"How are you feeling?" Normani asked sitting on the bed with her wrapping her arm around her shoulder

"Pretty rough." Lauren bit her lip

"You know you can talk to me right?" Normani urged Lauren, hoping she'd open up to her

"I just feel so, stupid." Lauren strained her voice thick with her emotion

"Why?" Normani placed a hand over Lauren's comfortingly

"It's like I'm either irrelevant or the centre of attention. There's no in between." Lauren began

"Okay-" Normani acknowledged

"Either everyone's checking up on me or they don't care enough to notice. I'm invisible Mani, I'm invisible and I shouldn't be here! Why am I still here?" Lauren ranted hysterically getting out of bed with her hands tangled in her hair out of frustration

"You're not invisible Laur, you matter so much. I care, I've always cared and I always will. Let me be here for you. Let me be the best friend that you need me to be." Normani sighed walking over to her cautiously

"I'm not some charity case." Lauren retorted turning around harshly

"Nobody said you were. Just, let me help you. Please?" Normani gulped coming closer to which Lauren reacted by taking steps back

"I'm not going to hurt you Lauren. Trust me. It's me." Normani said slowly going towards her

"I'm not weak." Lauren whispered

"I know." Normani whispered back as she took Lauren into her arms

Lauren let out a sob as she hugged her best friend desperately

"I've changed Mani, I've lost myself." Lauren sobbed before looking up vulnerably at Normani

"Where am I?" Lauren begged to know the answer

"I don't know Lauren, but I promise I'll find you." Normani said pulling Lauren back into a hug

"I love you." Lauren sniffed clinging onto her best friend afraid that she'd leave her, even though she wouldn't

"I love you too Lo, and you don't need to hold me so tight. I'm not going anywhere." Normani promised laying her head on Lauren's shoulder

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch."

"Hey, you say that like I've never been one too." Normani joked lightly

"Truth is we all get stuck and don't know what to do at some point in life. But it's how we move past it that counts okay? I've got your back and so do the girls. You're never alone." She confessed to Lauren

"I know, but sometimes it feels like it. Just me and my mind. It sucks, it's just an endless, torturous cycle." Lauren explained helplessly letting her emotions out at last

"Lauren, have you really been taking your meds?" Normani asked seriously but her tone was caring

"I feel crazy when I take them. And I'm not crazy, am I?" Lauren wondered

"You're not crazy Lauren, but your medication is an important factor in your recovery. Wanna know a secret?"

"Go for it." Lauren said interested