Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Breaking

"Mani?" Lauren knocked on her door half heartedly, Normani opened the door after a minute and looked at the girl questioningly. "I needed a friend." Lauren mumbled under her gaze, "So did I. Go run to Camila." Lauren heard Dinah say bitterly. Lauren frowned up at Normani. "Normani come on, you're not blaming me are you?" Normani bit her bottom lip and averted her eyes to the ceiling. "See you later Lo." Normani sighed and shut the door back on her. Lauren stared at it for a few seconds before shaking herself out of it and heading over to Camila's room. Maybe Dinah meant it as a snide remark, but why shouldn't she go to her? They were friends, good friends. "Camz?" Lauren called and Camila opened the door in a second. She only had to look at Lauren before she knew she needed a hug, or rather to be held. Camila picked Lauren up wrapping her legs around her waist and brought her over to the bed. She set her down comfortably, and then sat beside Lauren. "What happened?" She asked but Lauren just gave a sigh and leaned her head on Camila's shoulder. "Let's just not say anything, can..can we just cuddle like we used to?" Lauren asked. Camila didn't speak, she just put an arm around her shoulder, brought Lauren closer to her body and kissed her cheek to confirm it. Lauren hugged her back and closed her eyes. "Thanks Camz." Camila closed her own eyes and fell asleep, thankfully somehow Lauren managed to do the same thing.
"But how the hell could she do that to me?!" Dinah raged, Normani watched her pace the room angrily. "Dinah she was probably scared, scared of how you would react and right now I'm not so sure she didn't have a reason to be." "I'm mad because she didn't tell me! If she told me then we wouldn't be having this problem!" Normani stood up and stood in front of Dinah to stop her from pacing, it was making the girl dizzy just watching her. "Honestly tell me, why is it a problem now? Lauren's probably scared shitless right now and she needs you. God Dinah-" "Normani!" "Shut up Allyson!" Normani shouted back at the wall and carried on "-Lauren probably thinks you're over after you stormed out on her. Isn't the main thing that she did admit it? You know the saying, it's better late than never." Dinah held her gaze at Normani before uttering the words "I'm so stupid." Normani smiled and hugged her briefly. "Just go back and get your girl, okay?" Dinah nodded and sprinted out the room to find her. Camila was just coming out of her own room with Lauren in her arms bridal style, asleep. "What did you do?" The Cuban whispered harshly and Dinah sighed. "Just give her to me, I'll take her back to our room." Camila shook her head and moved away. "She's been crying you know, bad. So whatever you did you better hope it's fixable." Camila warned and Dinah smiled sadly at her best friend. "I hope so too Chancho, I don't want to lose her." She croaked, Camila's expression softened and she held out Lauren for Dinah to take back to their room. "Look after her, I don't want to see any more tears come out of those precious green eyes." Camila said and Dinah nodded. "You got it." Dinah watched Lauren stir from sleep when she put her on the bed. Lauren opened her eyes and realised where she was, and who was sat with her. "Dinah." She mumbled quietly, Dinah gave her a soft smile. "Why are you here?" Lauren sat up against the headboard and stared at Dinah intensely. Dinah had to admit she was starting to feel uncomfortable under her gaze. "I'm sorry for running out on you Lauren. I was just, surprised you didn't say anything. I always want you to feel you can talk to me, I won't get mad if you slip up, I was just upset you didn't say anything." Lauren didn't say anything but she was listening. "All I ever want is to be there for you Laur, I want to be the best girlfriend I can be. I wanna be the person you deserve." She lowered her gaze Lauren took a deep breath. "Where's Camila?" Dinah didn't look up. "She went out somewhere Lo, I don't know. Did you listen to anything I was saying?" Lauren nodded, "Promise me you won't get mad again, and that you won't leave me again. Dinah I was scared! I thought I'd lost you." Lauren's voice trembled and Dinah threw her arms around the girl. "No listen, never. You'll never lose me." Dinah promised. Lauren settled her head into Dinah's chest and sighed. "I have to find Mani." Dinah looked down at her, "Why Laur? Is something wrong?" Lauren furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "I'm not sure. I just..you know when you have a really strong feeling you should do something and you don't know what it is, but you know you have to do it." Dinah nodded. "Go, I'll see you both at dinner with the girls in Ally's room. We're all gonna get pizzas." Lauren nodded, kissed Dinah lightly and got off the bed. "I love you." Dinah said and Lauren smiled gently, "I love you too." Lauren opened the door and got into the elevator to search for Normani. But in fact, she was in the elevator with Lauren. They were alone, and Normani had been crying. "I knew there was a reason I felt like I should come find you." Lauren said softly as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Allergies." Normani tried "Yeah right." Lauren scoffed immediately but lightly. "What's the matter Mani?" Normani shrugged. "I'm upset you never stopped hurting yourself. Dinah's kinda right! Why didn't you say anything?" Lauren chewed on her bottom lip nervously. "I guess I should have, but I just felt like I was in too deep." Lauren admitted. "It's never irreversible Lauren, you can talk to us. We're not just your friends, we're your family, right?" Lauren nodded and wrapped her arms tightly around her best friend. "You shouldn't cry over me Mani." Normani squeezed Lauren in the hug and kissed her cheek. "Well I really care about you Lo, and it hurts me when you hurt yourself. You're such an amazing person babe, and you don't deserve what you're going to yourself." Lauren closed her eyes and turned her head into Normani's chest. "You have nothing to say to that?" Normani asked curiously. "I just don't know what I'm meant to say, 'okay'? Because it's not okay is it? Not really." The door opened and Normani guided Lauren out into the hall. "It will be though, okay I mean because, we're all here. Plus I know for a fact Mila and Dinah would stop the whole damn world for you, and I would too." Lauren gave her best friend a kiss on the cheek before they parted ways for a bit. "See you at dinner." Lauren waved and went back into her own room where Dinah was laid on the bed watching something intensely on the TV. "Whatcha doing?" Lauren flopped herself on the bed, she put her lips on Dinah's for a kiss in greeting, but her girlfriend didn't kiss back. That was off, Dinah had never done that to Lauren before. "What's up baby?" She frowned, Dinah didn't speak, her eyes just stuck to the screen so Lauren followed them. "Oh my god." She muttered, Dinah's private pictures and videos were on the screen for the world to see as a well known show host talked. "Dinah stop, you don't have to listen to this." Lauren turned off the TV but Dinah remained frozen in her spot, her eyes fixated on the black screen. "Are you okay Di?" Lauren waved a hand in front of her face tentatively before Dinah's face crumpled up and she let out a cry. "Oh fuck." Lauren muttered and opened her arms for Dinah but Dinah didn't even go into them. She just pushed Lauren away, literally. Lauren was on the floor and Dinah was in the bathroom before she could say anything. "Dinah come out of there!" Lauren scrambled to her feet and banged her fists on the door. "I will kick this door open if I have to! It's either that or you unlock it in the next 3 seconds. One..two..thr-" Dinah undid the latch, Lauren opened the door and went inside. She kneeled in front of her girlfriend who sat on the edge of the bath and held her hands. "I can only guess where your head is probably at. I can't imagine it's good. But know that I'm here for you. We're all here for you Dinah." Dinah crumbled and leant her head on Lauren's shoulder, wrapping her arms around her neck weakly. "It'll go away soon, honestly, something will happen and it'll be old news." Lauren ran her fingers through Dinah's hair as she trembled from her cries. "Normani and I called the police earlier to try and take them down but they said there was nothing they could do. Once they're out there, they're out there..I'm out there." Lauren sighed and nuzzled her face in Dinah's neck in the hug. "I'm so sorry babe." She mumbled against her neck. Dinah tightened her hold on Lauren and whimpered. "Don't let go..not yet." Lauren closed her eyes slowly and held Dinah's head against her shoulder. "I wasn't even thinking about it." Dinah closed her eyes and enjoyed being in Lauren's embrace. She was glad to be in her arms, she was completely safe in Lauren's hold. Lauren was generally very protective over her friends, Dinah was another story though. There was no doubt Lauren would die for Dinah. She would die for any of the girls, but Lauren would die a thousand times for Dinah. "I love you." Dinah mumbled. "I love you too." Lauren replied in the sweetest voice. "I'm okay now, you can let go." Dinah said gently, Lauren was hesitant but did as Dinah said. "Okay." Lauren pulled back and helped Dinah up, wiping her eyes with the pads of her thumbs and kissing both of her cheeks. Dinah smiled and kissed Lauren. "That was to make up for earlier, that and I wanted to kiss my amazing girlfriend of course." Lauren smiled and pecked her nose ever so gently. "Come on, look at the time. We'd better head over to Ally now." Lauren linked their hands and went to Ally's room further down the corridor. "Welcome to the room of all the greatness and holiness that y'all are lacking." Ally teased "Ah would ya shut up Smalls." Dinah pushed at her face and stepped inside. Lauren smiled and shook her head. "Hey Laur, you good?" Ally asked politely but Lauren pulled her to one side away from the girls. "Did you see the news on Dinah?" Ally's eyes softened. "Turned it off as soon as I heard her name in his tone." Lauren nodded. "Well can you help me keep an eye on her?" Ally looked over at Dinah briefly and nodded. "Of course." "-Hey what are you two chattin' about over there?" Dinah asked curiously. "What pizzas we want, shall we order?" Ally covered it up with ease "Well you know what I'm gonna want already." Camila said without looking up. Lauren smiled and bounded her way over to her. "Hi Camzi." Lauren pounced on her so they nearly fell over. "Sup Lolo?" Camila smiled and pulled Lauren into her lap. "Camz do you want to go clubbing with me tonight? Just us." Camila raised her eyebrows, "Well that's a new one." "Yes or no?" Lauren pressed eagerly. "Sure, why not, it sounds like it could be fun." Lauren grinned. "Oh it will be, just you wait." "But wait we're all in here for the night." Camila remembered, "So we'll sneak out. Come on Camz, live a little more adventurous." Camila rolled her eyes but smiled nevertheless. "I'm in."