Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Smile

"Yo Camila!!" Lauren shouted over the music. "What?" Camila shouted back. "Have you seen Ally?!" Dinah checks. "No, why?!" "Dinah and I can't find her!" Lauren shouted. "Well where did you look?" Normani asked, moving out from behind Camila. "Down." Dinah said and Lauren laughed loudly. "Dork, come on, let's go find her." Lauren did find Ally, outside the club, looking at the sky. "What are you doing out here? The party is in there." Lauren nudged her which made Ally look at her and shrug. "It's crowded in there, I got too hot." Lauren nodded understandably. She hated crowds so she was actually relieved for the new space and the fresh cool air. "Big Rob is probably so tired of Midnight." Ally giggled. "I bet you he's just fallen asleep with the puppy on his stomach." Ally laughed. "Probably. Do you mind if we head back? I'm old, I'm getting tired." Ally teased. "Shut up. It's 4am, I'm tired too." Lauren took a look over her shoulder where the rest of the girls came to join them. "Ready to go?" Normani asked with a yawn. "Yeah, are you little miss lightweight?" Ally asked drunk Camila, who simply giggled and rambled about purple butterflies eating watermelons. "Did you take something Walz?" Dinah laughed. "She's just very imaginative when she's drunk." Lauren laughed as she linked their arms to give Camila stabilisation. "I called for a cab, it'll be here soon." Ally said. "Oh shit." Normani hissed when she saw cameras. "What?" Camila asked. "Paps." Lauren whispered. "And fans. We can't ignore them." Ally sighed. "Ally we're drunk as shit. Plus, I don't think Camila is up to having full on serious conversations." Ally nodded. "Someone has to see them though, they can see us." Normani said and Lauren rubbed her eyes. "I'll go, no one ever gets to meet me out and about and I feel kinda bad about that." "True, and Lauren isn't drunk like we are, just a little tipsy." Lauren walked over and gestured the fans to be quiet and come to a more secluded area. "Hey guys. We need you to be super quiet because the paps are around and we don't wanna attract attention." Everyone nodded. "Where are the other girls Lauren?" A girl asked, "Drunk." Lauren giggled. "I know they wanted to meet you if they weren't though. Now, get in a line and I'll take pictures and stuff, I don't see you guys enough." "Wait up!" Ally shouted and jumped on Lauren's back. "Ally oh my god!" She gasped and held her up in a second of pure luck. "I wanna see them too." She grinned. "Alz, can you please get off of me?" Lauren strained to hold her up. "Sorry Lo, my bad mama." She kissed her cheek, earning a few 'oh my god's and 'awwww Alren!' from people. "Right, pictures." Lauren said getting to the front of the line while Ally went to the back. "Hi sweetheart, how're you?" Lauren smiled politely. "I'm good, how are you doing?" Lauren hesitated for a second but caught herself. "I'm great, I see your camera up, lets take the pic." She grabbed the phone and posed for a selfie. They got through half the people when Camila came over, considerably more sober than she had been. "Cab is here." She said shortly. "Mila!!" One girl shrieked and ran over. Camila's eyes widened in obvious shock of the fast movement, giving the girl a koala hug. "Hey precious girl." Camila cupped her face happily. "It's so good to see you again." The girl hugged her again and grinned. "Camz we have to go." Lauren tugged at her arm. "Agh one second." Camila pulled her arm out of her grip and held the girl's shoulders firmly. "Camila please do pictures with us!!" Someone pleaded but Camila had to bite her lip and shake her head. "I really can't. We have a cab waiting. I will see you guys very soon. I think we have an interview tomorrow in town, so hopefully we'll see some of you there." "Chancho!" Dinah called to her from a distance. "Coming! I love you!" Camila blew kisses to the fans as she ran out to the car waiting for her. "Sorry guys!!" Camila apologised hurriedly before she ducked her head into the cab. "Dinah's out for the count." Normani gestured to the girl sleeping against the car door. "I can see that." Camila laughed and shut the door as quietly as she could manage so she didn't wake Dinah. "Wanna pick us up a pizza? I haven't eaten all day." Ally suggested, of course it was Camila who was first to agree to the idea. "I'm down." Normani smiled, Lauren simply shrugged, her eyes on Dinah peacefully sleeping. "Uh, yeah sure, whatever you want, I'm sure Dinah couldn't care less, it's food." Dinah stirred when the car came to a steady stop while the three girls, obviously other than Lauren and herself, went to get the pizza. "Hey babe." She mumbled sleepily to Lauren who stared out of the window avoiding eye contact. "Where are the girls?" She looked around for them. "Getting us pizzas, they won't be long." Lauren muttered. "Can you tell me why you're being so short?" Dinah asked. Lauren looked at her girlfriend sorrowfully, her green eyes were watery, and typically, she was just about to open her mouth, when the girls came back. "Yo we have pizzaaaaaaaaa!!" Camila announced. Lauren turned away and Dinah sighed in defeat, she knew it was useless to try again. "Sometimes I can't believe y'all." Dinah grumbled. When they got back to the bus, it was no surprise to Dinah that Lauren had headed straight to her room without a word. "Hey, is Lauren okay?" Ally asked as she handed Dinah a slice of pepperoni pizza. "I wouldn't know. Y'all interrupted me when I was about to find out on our way back." "Is it okay if I go check on her?" Ally asked sweetly. "Of course it is, you'd be doing me a favour." Dinah nodded. "Okay, I'll make sure she's okay." Ally knocked on Lauren's door but it swung open eerily. "Lauren?" Ally called suspiciously. "Lo, are you in here?" Ally listened out but she was given no response. She looked in the bathroom since Lauren's bed was empty. Lauren was in the bath, a blood and bubble bath. "Oh my-Jesus Christ Lauren!" Ally gasped and grabbed two towels applying pressure to her arms. "Why would you do this?" Ally got out her phone and texted Normani for help since she couldn't seem to do it alone. Lauren couldn't bring herself to look at Ally, nor Normani when she arrived to tend to her wounds. She was too scared and too ashamed to even try to look at her friends, it didn't really help she was naked either. "Anyone could have come in, the door was open!" Ally raised her voice worriedly as Lauren and Normani both sat on the bed. Lauren was now fully clothed, cuts bandaged and hair dried by now. "Lauren..what the hell were you thinking babe?" Normani sighed as she lay her head sadly on her best friend's shoulder. "I don't know." Lauren could only whisper hoarsely. "I can believe that." Ally mumbled as she sat next to Lauren, on her other side. "Why didn't you come and talk to us?" Lauren hesitantly spoke. "I guess..well, it's just..instinct. It's..it's all I know, I panicked, I guess." Lauren mumbled as a tear rolled down her cheek, Ally was quick to wipe it away. "You can talk to us Lauren, and you should know that by now." Ally rubbed her back. "I didn't want to ruin the mood for you guys, you all just seemed so happy." Lauren sighed guiltily. "Well duh, we were all drunk and shit. But look, that doesn't matter..We'd rather keep you safe Lauren, every time." Normani smiled reassuringly and kissed her cheek. "It's true, you should listen to Mani." Ally nodded. "We don't give a damn if we're celebrating or we're crying our eyes out. You come to us, one of us, no matter what state we're in. We promise we'll be there for you, always Lo." Lauren closed her eyes and nodded. "Thank you." "Now give us a smile." Normani poked her cheeks cheesily. "Come on, smileeeee." Ally poked the other one giggling. "You're both drunk as shit." Lauren shook her head fondly. "C'monnnn, just a wittle one." Ally said in a childlike voice. "No!" Lauren said in a baby voice. "Guess we have to get her drunk with us." Normani said nonchalantly, pulling out some Vodka bottles. "Where did you get those? Did you steal them?!" Lauren asked holding back a laugh. Normani put her finger up to Lauren's lips rather than her own and giggled. "Shhhh." She held out a bottle for Lauren and one for Ally. Ally took it and Lauren glanced at the pair. "Fuck it." She sighed slightly and took the bottle of clear liquid. "Wait, wait!" Ally said taking the bottle. "Smile first." She instructed. Lauren smiled widely and Ally and Normani cheered before they chugged the liquid as best they could. "Easy.." Lauren said as she took Normani's bottle, already halfway gone in a few gulps. "Mani, what's going on with you?" She frowned. "I'm gonna-" Ally darted to the bathroom. "Give it back." Normani reached for it but she was miles away from poor coordination due to her intoxication. "Normani, you don't need anymore." Lauren mumbled as she stroked the hair out her face. "I do because it hurts!" Lauren frowned. "What hurts?" "The pictures hurt." She sniffled. Lauren put their bottles down, pulling Normani into her arms gently. "What do you see?" Lauren asked the girl hesitantly. "Lauren I don't want to do this." Normani gulped. "Please, just, humour me..okay? Now tell me, what do you see babe?" Normani took a deep breath and exhaled slowly and shakily, her eyes clenched shut. "You." "What about me?" Lauren asked gently. "You look so..dead. You're not even scared." She whispered. "Why would I be scared Mani?" Lauren asked. "Y-You're at the edge, a-and we're on the roof. You just, you jumped and I can't rea-" Normani gasped and opened her eyes, lurching forward to catch Lauren in her head. "I'm here." Lauren soothed pulling her back and stroking her tears off her wet cheeks ever so gently. "Do you see me?" Normani gave a small, almost invisible nod. "And you can see that I'm okay?" Lauren prompted, Normani's eyes went to the bandages. "Besides that. You can see that I'm alive, we're not on the roof, and that I'm here, that I'm with you." Normani blinked back more tears and nodded. "Are you okay now?" Lauren asked hesitantly, Normani gulped and nodded. "Did any of that help at all?" Normani nodded to her best friend so surely that Lauren was satisfied with her response. "Good." Lauren breathed. "Thanks, for making me talk about it." Normani cuddled her, Lauren placed a gentle kiss to her forehead and smiled. "I'm glad I could help." "I'm glad you're not dead." Normani chuckled nervously and then Ally came in. "Me too."