Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Choices

"I don't understand, why would your ex do this to you out of nowhere? Why the hell would he start a trend out of pure spite?" Lauren wondered as the girls all sat together in the lounge area, they had all noticed Dinah's unusual strange behaviour. "Well, he may not know that we're an item, and he and I may not have 'officially' broken up.." Lauren's eyes widened considerably as she stood up and stammered "I-I'm, you mean to say that I'm your fucking affair?! You're still in a relationship??" Dinah gulped "No! I mean yes.. Okay listen to me for a-" Lauren clamped a hand over her mouth "Whatever it is you have to say to me Dinah, I don't want to hear it. Now I'm not going to beg you to break up with him, or beg you to stay with me. Don't get me wrong here I am really fucking furious with you! But right now you're gonna have to make a choice, it's either me, or him." Dinah took Lauren's hand off her mouth and held it before Lauren harshly ripped it out of her grasp. "No don't say a word to her, she's not just angry with you Dinah, she's hurt! Can you not see that?" Camila exclaimed in disbelief. Lauren's tears burned in her eyes but she knew better than to let her guard down now. "I just can't believe that after everything that's happened to me, you would go and twist that knife even further. Dinah," Lauren's voice shook as her emotions got the best of her "I trusted you." Dinah gulped as tears filled her own eyes. "I know, I'm sorry. Lo you mean everything to me-" Normani scoffed and got up, wrapping an arm around Lauren's shoulders, and pulling her into her arms. "Save it, save it until you've made a choice. Don't you dare hurt her any more today than you already have done." Lauren wrapped her arms around her best friends waist. Ally sighed and shuffled over, pulling Dinah back so she sat down and rubbed her back to soothe her. "Okay, so we all know Dinah has screwed up but I'm sure that she didn't mean for this to happen. Right Dinah?" Dinah nodded "Lo I love you, I'd never say that if it wasn't true." Lauren squeezed her eyes shut "I know, but you love him too. I just need you to make a decision..so I know the score." Dinah leaned over so her elbows rested on her knees as she put her head in her hands. "How long do I have to make a decision?" Dinah whispered awkwardly making Camila shake her head "If you really do love her, you shouldn't have to choose her in the first place." Lauren wiped her eyes and turned around "I'll give you until tomorrow morning, you need to think really hard about this Dinah." The Polynesian gasped "Lauren that's not enough time, please I need more than that. It's a massive decision to make." Normani rolled her eyes "Yeah well you should really have thought about that before you pulled this stunt." Ally agreed "You can't leave her hanging D, you still have time. Be grateful she isn't breaking up with you on the spot." Dinah supposed she had a point there, she never in her wildest dreams thought she would ever be stuck with a love triangle. "Okay, I'll let you know tomorrow morning." She mumbled in deep thought as she spoke aloud. Everyone seemed satisfied with her answer. "It's late now, and rehearsals wore me out so I'm going to head off to bed." Camila announced, stretching her limbs. "Can I come cuddle Camzi?" Lauren asked in a whisper, Camila felt her heart break at the tone of her hurt voice. "Come on then Lolo, go clean up and brush your teeth. I'll be there in just a second." She smiled softly, just as Lauren was out of earshot she turned to Dinah. "You did that to her, you either fix her heart or you break it. Personally, despite that I wasn't the biggest fan of you guys anyway I saw how happy it made her, you made Lauren so happy, she deserves that happiness Cheechee. She out of everyone deserves it so much..if you break her heart then I'll pick up the pieces, and I won't hold it against you. But if you do, you've made the biggest mistake of your life." Camila left it at that when Dinah didn't give a verbal response and got ready for bed. Lauren was in Camila's bunk waiting for her. It was physically painful to hear that she was unknowingly Dinah's little affair on the side. She needed Camila, so she waited patiently until the brunette had pushed back the curtain and they met eyes. "Ready for bed?" She asked cutely making Lauren smile and nod. "Come cuddle with me Camzi." Camila smiled at the nickname, it wasn't used often, it was usually just Camz, 'just Camz', no. It was much more than that, they were special. Camila sighed contentedly and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, it felt good to hold Lauren for a change. "I love you Lolo, and whatever happens tomorrow, I'll be here for you. I promise." Camila placed an innocent kiss on her neck. "I know you will be, you always are. I love you too Camz." Lauren relaxed in her hold and fully leaned into her body. "I know you still love me." Lauren whispered after a few minutes silence. Camila didn't speak for a good ten minutes, Lauren ended up thinking she fell asleep until Camila finally answered. "I always will."

It was finally morning and Lauren was anxious to know Dinah's final choice. She really hoped she chose her, Lauren felt so strongly about her band mate it would be hard to let go. Lauren sighed and buried her head in Camila's chest, prolonging the wait with sleep to make the time wasted more bearable. "Laur, are you awake yet?" Dinah whispered, peeling back the curtain. Lauren lifted her head and gulped heavily. "Yes." Dinah signalled to go to the lounge area to talk in private, so she carefully got out of Camila's tight hold and followed her through. "I've made up my mind." Dinah started uneasily, Lauren nodded. "And?" She whispered, she sounded too vulnerable for her liking. "I'm sorry, I chose Nela." Lauren felt her head spin and clung onto the table. "Seriously?" She choked out and Dinah nodded but anyone could see she was upset too. "I don't want to hurt either of you, and he gave me the best year of my life so I-" Lauren cut her off "Please spare me the details. I get the picture." Dinah sniffed as the tears made their way down her cheeks with regret. "Lauren I am so sorry, you know I never wanted this to happen right?" Dinah took her hands but Lauren pulled them away. "Then why did you let it? I've known you for 3 years, be it as friends or not. You said you loved me and you're going to throw it away for him? Don't forget he spread shit about you, that's not something I would do. I care about you, I love you." Lauren defended "I know you do, and I love you. But I can't hurt you like this anymore. Maybe..maybe when the time is right, we can try it again, start over." Lauren shook her head "I don't want to be second choice, why would I give you another chance after this? You'd have to give me a damn good reason." Dinah swallowed the lump in her throat and let out a sob "I know we can make it Lo, because we love each other. Love finds a way, right?" Lauren wiped her eyes and choked out "If you could hurt me, so badly now..I don't want to give you another chance. Don't get me wrong, if Nela makes you as happy as you made me then you go for it. You deserve to be happy, but I'll always be wishing I was the one putting that smile on your face. And if you ever break up, no, when you break up, don't come running back to me. I don't think that I could take it." Lauren finished tearfully, her voice was thick and all she wanted to do was cry. "But Lauren please, I love you. I'll miss us." Lauren let out a cry and wrapped her arms around Dinah. "I'll miss you too, but it wasn't meant to be." Dinah held the girl tightly "I don't want to let you go, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." Lauren then began to sense something was wrong. "If that's the case then why are you choosing him and not me?" Dinah squeezed Lauren's waist for support "Because I have to, or he'll destroy us." Dinah whispered and Lauren pulled back but kept her hands loose around her neck. "Hold on, is he threatening you?" Dinah looked away "I'm doing this for us, I want to be with you Lauren, I really do. But the stuff he could do to you is so much worse than a broken heart." Lauren shook her head "I don't care Dinah, I don't. I just want you, I need you." Dinah pressed her lips together as her brown eyes spilled tears down her cheeks. "I need you too, and this is fucking killing me." Dinah sobbed. Lauren wiped her eyes with her thumb. "Whatever he's threatening you with it can't be worth throwing what we have away, we can deal with it together. Love fights babe, we can fight." Dinah whimpered so Lauren guided her back into her arms. "Just tell me the truth. I know you don't want to be with him, so what's going on?" Dinah crumbled "He threatened to do something bad again and to kill you Lauren. I can't lose you again baby, I just-I can't do it." She cried heavily. Again? Lauren wondered "Report him for harassment, Dinah you need to, for yourself. He can't just get away with exposing you." Dinah tensed up and Lauren's noticed since she was in her arms. "What's wrong?" Lauren tried to move back to get a better look at Dinah but she refused to let go. "He couldn't expose me any more than he did." She whispered and Lauren tensed at her words. "What did he do to you?" Dinah choked out her words in a sob "He raped me Lauren, he filmed it and then he released it as a sex tape, it got taken down but I.." Dinah snapped upon finally admitting what happened to her, nobody knew until she'd told Lauren. She fell apart in her arms and Lauren was shocked, Dinah was screaming and crying, waking everyone on the bus up as a result. "What the-Dinah!! What in God's name, What's wrong??" Ally gasped at the scene. Lauren ignored Ally and the other girls and just held the girl tightly and whispered soothing words into her ear. "I think we should leave them be, Dinah, you can talk to us when you're ready babe." Normani lay a hand on her shoulder, Dinah recoiled under her touch and held onto Lauren for dear life. "Shh, it's okay." Lauren whispered audibly before mouthing "Go" to the girls, who obliged fully and went back to their bunks trying to block out the sounds of Dinah's breakdown. "I've got you, and he'll never touch you again I promise, shh don't cry baby." Dinah couldn't think beyond her own screams and cries, it was completely unlike herself to break down in someone's arms, but if it had to be anybody, then she would choose Lauren, every time.