Broken, Honest, Beautiful

First Love

"Normani?" Dinah searched the bus, following the sound of music. "Dinah, hey, what's up?" She asked casually. "I saw what happened, I mean, what did happen?" Normani sighed and turned off the music to be serious. "I think, I think I might like Mila.." Dinah smiled "Really?" Normani threw her head back "Well if I do I've fucked it up now." "No you haven't Normani." "I'm not gay though." Normani tried to give an explanation. "You don't have to be gay to like a girl. Camila is an exception if you like her you like her." Normani huffed and leaned against Dinah. "Well now what do I do?" Dinah wrapped an arm around her supportively "Camila is crying in Lauren's arms right now..and it's because she seems to think that she is the one who screwed up." Normani's eyes widened "Shit." Dinah rubbed her arm to relax her. "It's not your fault you freaked out Mani, I would have too if it were me." Normani groaned "Yeah but it's not, it's me, my problem..anyway you have Lauren." Dinah smiled "Yeah I do. Your problems are our problems automatically. We're family." Normani leaned up and kissed her cheek. "I love you D." Dinah flipped her hair "Girl, I know." She joked, making Normani laugh. "Talk to her, you really think you like her?" Normani nodded gently and blushed. "Then what are you waiting for? Get your girl." Dinah slapped her ass after she pushed Normani up. "Hey babe, you in here?" Lauren called out. "Yeah Lo. Where's Mila?" Lauren came into view. "With Ally, she's calmer now than she was. How's Manibear?" Dinah smiled "She's going to talk to Camila, she admitted she liked her." Lauren smiled "Like.." Dinah nodded "She's got the hots for Mila." Lauren giggled "That's my girl." Dinah pouted "What about me?" Lauren smirked playfully "Well you're my baby. C'mere babyyy." She grabbed her face and kissed her all over while Dinah squealed and giggled, loving the affection. "Lauren stooppp!" Lauren's giggled and bopped her nose before giving her a proper kiss. "Happy now?" She asked, Dinah nodded with an innocent smile. "Very." Suddenly Camila's voice could be heard shouting outside, then Normani's. Dinah and Lauren looked at each other and bolted to the window, Dinah opened it. "Hey! What's going on?" Normani looked up. "She won't shut up and fucking listen to me!" She complained and Camila groaned "I don't want to! You walked out on me!" Normani huffed "I'm trying to explain why if you'll let me!" Camila scoffed and by this point Normani had enough. "That's it." She mumbled and grabbed Camila's face, pouring her heart and soul into a kiss. Lauren cheered, "Ayy go Mani!" Dinah clapped, Camila was a little taken aback but kissed back when she realised what was happening. "Oh." Camila breathed after Normani pulled back hesitantly. "Oh.." She repeated. "Well say something." Normani said anxiously. "I uh, gotta, go.." Camila excused awkwardly. Dinah and Lauren had their mouths wide open in disbelief while Normani watched her leave with a dark feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Camila!!" Lauren shouted out but it was too far away, Camila was running away from it all, she couldn't think with everybody staring at her. Camila ran till she hunched over her buckling knees to catch her breath back. Camila did like Normani, she knew that much. But it seemed so wrong that Camila's first thought when Normani pulled away was that her lips weren't Lauren's. "You alright love?" Camila looked up to see an Irish guy, but not just any Irish guy was looking at her. "Niall, what are you doing here?" Niall spun around in a circle on his Segway. "Ridin around. I got bored. We're all on a vacation break before we go back on the road again." Camila nodded "Oh, where are the boys?" Niall shrugged "Doing their own thing. Where's the girls?" Camila gestured behind her "Back at the bus. I needed a bit of fresh air. But I'm too tired to walk back." Niall chuckled and got off the Segway. "Hop on. It's about time I got you on this thing." Camila was hesitant but not reluctant to try something new. Anything was better than walking, even if it was falling over. It wasn't like that was exactly uncommon for Camila. With Niall and his help, Camila got the hang of it pretty quickly and Niall walked by her side back to the bus. "Thank you Niall, do you want to come in and say hi?" He shook his head. "Nah, I gotta get back. Plus, you obviously needed air for a reason. You get in there and clear the tension with your mates, love. Have a nice night." Camila smiled and nodded "You too. Tell the guys I said hello." He nodded and rode off while Camila went into the bus. "Where the fuck have you been?" Lauren seethed, Camila took a step back. Angry Lauren was scary. "I-I just went for a walk to clear my head." Lauren walked past her and pulled her out of the bus and around the back. "I have just had Normani crying into my shoulder for the past half hour Camila so you better ha-" Lauren stopped to breathe when she saw Camila's bottom lip wobble. "What happened?" Camila sniffled as her breathing sped up "Lolo I don't know what to do anymore." She whimpered, Lauren realised she was having an anxiety attack and pulled her into her arms. "Shh Camz it's okay just take some deep breaths, breathe with me. In, and out." Camila shook her head wildly "I-I ca-can't Laur!" Lauren stroked her hair gently "Yes you can Camila, just like me okay? In, and out. Focus on your breathing and let it go. Let everything go." Camila snapped at the last sentence and started crying. "Aw Camzi.." She mumbled and rubbed her back, guiding Camila's head into her neck. "I'm always screwing up." She cried, clutching Lauren tightly. "No you aren't Camila. You're learning, we're all learning." Camila whimpered and held the girl savouring the moment. "I don't want to break Normani's heart Lolo." Lauren sighed "You can't help the way you feel babe, if you don't like her then you don't like her. Broken hearts can be fixed. You told me that." Camila leaned back to look at the way her green eyes captured the light do perfectly that they shimmered. "Her lips weren't yours Lo. It's not that I want you back because I know you're happy with Dinah and I don't want to get in the way of that. I get we didn't work out, but you were my first love. It's not the same with her and I couldn't be with her and focus on someone in the group because I have a special connection with them. Do you understand what I mean?" Lauren gave a small smile and a reassuring nod. "I get it Camz. I'll always love you, you were my first love. First loves are very special." Camila nodded sadly, Lauren kissed the girl's temple, letting her lips linger for a few moments. "I was happy with you too, I mean yes just because I have a relationship with Dinah doesn't mean you'd feel comfortable having one with Normani. I respect that. A first love, it's important..and it's something to be treasured, cherished." Lauren said thoughtfully. "I'll never let you go. I'll always love you somewhere in my heart. But I'm perfectly happy with just being your friend." Camila said making Lauren smile softly and lean her head on Camila's. "No..we were never just friends Camz. You said it yourself, you remember? We're special." Lauren said and Camila giggled "We're Camren." Lauren laughed "I don't think we could ever find a way to describe us.." Camila hummed in agreement. "You know you have to talk to Mani, and explain how you feel." Camila nodded into her chest "Can we just cuddle for a little longer?" Lauren smiled and nodded. "Te amo." Camila smiled contentedly "Siempre, mi primer amor."