Broken, Honest, Beautiful

Protected

"Mani I'm too scared." Camila's voice trembled. "Don't be, I'll be there, Ally, Dinah and Lauren. We'll all be there. I promise you that you have nothing to worry about. He would never try and hurt you in an award show. You have to come, you know you do." Camila took a shaky breath and nodded, stepping out to go with the girls onto the red carpet. "Are you okay?" Lauren asked, holding her shoulders and rubbing them. "Yeah I-I think so." Camila gulped heavily as she looked into Lauren's eyes. "You'll be fine Camz, take my hand. I won't let go." Camila gripped her hand tightly, looking at the girls who gave her small reassuring smiles. "We'll be right there with you Mila, relax." Ally squeezed her shoulder. "Ready?" Dinah asked, and Camila nodded. "Let's go." Lauren gave Camila's hand a squeeze and lead her onto the carpet. "It's Fifth Harmony!" A camera man shouted and suddenly all the cameras were on them. Lauren had to let go for pictures and Camila knew it. "Camz," Lauren whispered, "It's just for the pictures, okay? You have to let go of my hand." Camila's eyes flitted to their hands and Lauren looked at her with soft eyes as she let go. "Camila, hi can you give us a smile?" Camila put on her best smile and posed as she always did. The group posed for the cameras as they moved along and the girls made sure that at least one of them kept their eye on Camila from time to time. "Okay we're done." Dinah said as they moved inside so Lauren reached for Camila's hand again. "You okay?" She whispered and Camila nodded, until she saw that Austin was there, and staring at her. "If it isn't the girls of Fifth Harmony! Hey girls, come on over!" His interviewer said, the girls were hesitant but for the sake of publicity, they had no choice. "We're with you." Normani put a hand on Camila's back and gently pushed her over. "Hi!" Lauren smiled, she was the best at acting fine, considering her past experiences. "So girls you know Austin since you toured with him last year." Ally nodded and looked at him for a second almost showing her anger. "Mm yeah, yeah I'd say we know him pretty well." "Some more than others, Camila didn't you and Austin date in the past?" Camila swallowed the hard lump in her throat, avoiding eye contact with him. "We did yes." "Do you ever miss him?" Camila's eye twitched in slight anger. "No, not at all." Lauren squeezed her hand and coughed. "So, we should get going. We'll just go and do some other interviews now, thanks for your time." Lauren lead them away from Austin in a subtle hurry and they got to another interviewer. Austin continued to stare at Camila and she was getting more than uncomfortable. "Can you excuse me? Sorry." Camila let go of Lauren's hand and excused herself to a secluded area. Lauren looked behind nervously to where Camila was going. "I'm just gonna go and check on her. Sorry about this Chelsea." "That's okay girl, you do your thing. Camren is so alive tonight." Dinah rolled her eyes. "Huh. Actually-" "Dinah." Lauren shook her head subtly and she sighed. "Actually! Why don't we go ahead and talk about our new album we're working on!" Normani interrupted while Lauren went to find Camila. "Hey is anyone in here?" Lauren called out in the bathroom. All of the doors opened, all of them except for one, Lauren looked underneath to see Camila's shoes. "Hey, Camz? It's Lauren, can you open the door babe?" Lauren waited for a couple of minutes and she started to think Camila would never let her in, but then proving her wrong, the door unlocked. Lauren went inside and locked it behind them both. It was obvious Camila had been crying, her make up was ruined and she was on the floor curled up in a ball. "Come here." Lauren sat down and pulled her into a tight hug. "Listen to me, you're okay, you're safe and the girls and I are going to protect you. I'll promise I'll be with you for the whole night." Camila shook her head and sniffled quietly as she rested her head gently in Lauren's neck. "He was in here." Lauren froze. "What happened?" Camila whimpered and clenched her legs together. "H-He" Camila sobbed. "You can tell me. What happened Camzi?" "He did what that doctor didn't." Camila struggled out. Lauren's mouth hung open and she dug into her bag for her phone. "I'm calling the girls, we're leaving." "We can't just leave." Camila tried to grab her phone. "Camila you can't stay here, you'll be on camera and you're a mess. You just got fucking raped Camz." Camila flinched at the word. "I'm sorry, just, please, you have to trust me." Camila nodded and leant her head on her shoulder. Lauren texted all the girls to come into the girls bathroom to the last stall. "I'll make it okay again." Lauren wrapped her arm around Camila's shoulders and stroked her arm with her fingertips gently. "I know. You always do." Lauren smiled slightly and leant her head against Camila's. "They're probably outside by now Laur." Camila mumbled, Lauren spoke with her husky voice thick with emotion. "Just a little longer, please." Camila pulled Lauren closer to her and Lauren rested her head in her neck. "I know you're not okay." Camila said in a gentle tone. "Doesn't matter, you're the most important person we need to deal with right now, you're our top priority." Lauren said firmly. "You're important too. Lauren you're crying." "Leave it." "Girls?" They heard Ally call from the outside. "Just break it open. We don't wanna get up." Camila shouted and Dinah did as Camila asked with ease. "What happened in here?" Normani asked as she knelt in front of the two crying girls. "Well Austin raped her." Lauren said quietly. "Oh my god what? I'm gonna kill that bastard!" Dinah ran to the door but Normani held her back. "Dinah no. Look, Lauren is upset too." "Shit. What's wrong with you?" Dinah asked as she tried to move Lauren's hair out of her face only to get her hand swatted away. "Lo quit it, tell me." Dinah pouted. "Let's just get Mila to the hospital, alright?" Lauren sighed as she got up and held her hand out for Camila. "Lauren." Ally sighed. "Let it go Ally. I don't want to talk about it right now, okay? Leave me be." Lauren said seriously as they all pushed their ways through the small crowd scattered on the red carpet towards the car Normani had called for them. "Hey, Camila, are you okay?" Normani asked as she lay her hand on her knee. "Surprisingly, I am. I've cried it out. But I'm stronger than letting this break me, and I have you guys." Ally smiled and nodded. "I am so proud of you girl. You do have us, and you'll always have us Camila." Lauren curled into a ball, the smallest she could appear, she looked nowhere near as small she felt. She was leaning against the car window, staring out of it and refusing any form of contact with anyone, not that they had even tried. "There's definitely something wrong with Lauren." Camila looked at the girl isolating herself. "We can deal with her later." Lauren closed her eyes, blocking everyone and everything out. Right, fair enough. It's not like they were her friends too, hell it's not like they were practically sisters, it's not like Dinah was her girlfriend, it's not like just one of them could make it known she had them too. It's not like any of them really cared anymore. Lauren didn't, Dinah didn't, Normani didn't, Ally didn't and Camila didn't either. She knew, Lauren knew all she had was herself, and oh how sad and terribly dangerous that was. Friendships had an expiration date, all her past ones did, and it looked like hers had just expired. At least it felt that way in the moment. Dinah shuffled closer to her girlfriend and kissed her cheek. "Babe what's the matter?" She asked quietly. Lauren looked at Dinah to see loving brown eyes staring back at her. "You really care?" She couldn't even help the words coming out. Dinah frowned and pulled her into her lap. "Oh Lauren of course I do. Don't ever think I don't." Lauren sniffled and wrapped her arms tightly around Dinah. "It's not a good day for me." She admitted. "Why didn't you talk to us?" Normani asked, laying a hand on her knee. "I didn't want to say anything because we needed to all focus on Camila." She admitted. "Lolo I'm fine. You need to talk to us when you're having a bad day." Lauren didn't know what to say, so she just settled on quiet eye contact with Camila. Camila gave Lauren a smile, reaching out for her hand. "What're you doing?" Lauren asked softly. "You need to learn not to worry about other people so much. It's my turn to be there for you." "Camila there's bigger things going on." Lauren reminded her and Camila smiled at her lap shyly. "Lauren that wasn't the first time you know, he's taken advantage of me before." Lauren's mouth hung open, but the other girls didn't appear to be as shocked as her. "We knew already, all of us." Normani nodded. "You're so strong." Lauren whispered to herself. "So are you, you just need a little help to see it." Camila squeezed her hand. "Exactly." Dinah kissed her the top of Lauren's head and rested her chin on it. "You know. There's no point in us even going to the hospital, he used a condom so can we just all go back to the hotel?" Camila asked and Ally nodded, telling the driver the new plan. "The team all knows we left, I forgot to mention that earlier." Normani added. "Good, thank you Mani." Ally nodded as she leant her head on Camila's shoulder. "Can we do a movie night?" Camila asked with an excited smile on her face. "Sounds good to me Walz." Dinah nodded. "Yeah, I'm in." Normani and Ally said together. Lauren nodded quietly and nestled her head in Dinah's neck. "What are you thinking baby?" The Polynesian asked. "I don't know." Lauren admitted. "It's a mess in my head today." She sighed as she closed her eyes. When they got to the hotel they all went to Normani's room and decided on a film. Lauren and Camila kept making eye contact, it was clear that neither of them wanted to make a disruption, but Lauren felt the strongest need to be with Camila in a little while. So she carefully crawled behind her girlfriend and friends and cuddled up to the girl successfully. "Hi Lolo." Camila smiled down at her. "Hi." Lauren whispered as a single tear made it's way down her cheek. "Are you okay Camz? After today?" Lauren sniffled. "I can't believe you're even asking about me while you're crying." Lauren looked at her expectantly, just disregarding the comment. "I'm fine, honestly. But you can talk to me, you know that right?" Lauren tightened her hold on Camila's waist. "It hurts Camz." She whimpered. "What hurts?" Camila asked gently as she stroked the hair out of her face. "It just hurts." Lauren repeated. "What's wrong?" Camila frowned. "Everything." Lauren sniffled. "It's like I'm feeling every emotion possible all at once and my head-my head is so loud and I can't stop it." Lauren buried her head in her hands as she let out a strangled sob. "Shh it's okay, I've got you." Camila whispered, cradling the crying girl in her arms. "I'm so stupid." Lauren said almost laughing at the irony. "I'm here living my dreams with amazing people and I can't even grant it to myself to be happy for more than a couple of hours. How pathetic is that?" Lauren sniffled. "It's not pathetic!" Ally rubbed her arm affectionately. "We're all blessed to live the lives we are, but that doesn't mean you have to be perfect and happy 24/7. That's unrealistic, that's just fake. You, Lauren, are about as real as they get." Normani smiled gently at the girl, and Lauren listen to their words. They were right, but now she knew it was time to really make the effort. She was going to try, she would embrace it, everything. Every emotion she had she would just embrace it and move on. Hell she has a great life, and she should definitely be making the most of it. "Thanks guys." Lauren wiped her eyes and brought the three girls into a hug. "Rude." Dinah grumbled making Lauren giggle and climb into her lap. "Don't be like that. You get a kiss." Dinah grinned as her girlfriend gently pulled her chin to her and attached their lips. Dinah smiled and leant her forehead against Lauren's looking into her eyes. "I love you." She smiled adoringly. "I love you too, all of you." Lauren smiled at the three girls who watched them from the sidelines happily. "We love you too." Normani said pulling Lauren away from Dinah and into her own arms. "Hey! Give me back my girlfriend!" Dinah whined like a puppy. "No! I want my best friend." Normani stuck her tongue out at Dinah pointedly. Soon enough they were play fighting over Lauren who was just laughing her head off with the girls at the occurrence. So yes, it was all worth it. It was in these little yet valuable moments, Lauren knew she really could be happy.